Chapter 2
||tape four||
"Hi," Mara frowned at the camera.
It wasn't an angry frown.
It was sort of sad one.
A tired one like her appearance, there were a very bad bags under her eyes, her hair looking like it's been a month since she last brushed it.
What's wrong with her?
Decton's eyes never left her face, his heart hurt to see her like this, but there's nothing he can do.
Leaving her is the best thing he has done or that's what he thought.
Mara's tongue darted out across her bottom lip quickly.
"Do you know that we all have a dark room inside of our mind?"
Decton's eyes softened as Mara leaned her elbows on her legs.
"It's just that some of us visit that place a lot, and after a while, they won't be able to leave it anymore, like me." She said, voice rising but hardly.
"My mind is scaring me these times Dec."
Decton whimpered as Mara put her face in her hands.
Standing up, she walked over to the camera and stared directly into it
"I'm depressed Decton, I really am and it hurts like hell."
Mara shook her head, looking towards the camera.
"I fucking hate myself, no wonder why you left me." She laughed but it wasn't a nice laugh, it was a crazy one, like her movements.
She ran a hand through her hair and finally sat down.
"I - miss - you." She let out each word slowly and perfectly.
"I fucking miss you Decton.
Do you miss me too?
Huh?" A sigh escaped from her lips.
"Of course you don't, I'm talking to you as if you're watching this."
Decton wished so bad that he was there to hold her tightly and kiss her.
||tape five||
"I need you Decton." Mara's voice was soft, her mouth was turned down sadly, and everything about her was sad.
She looked broken.
"I'm not mad because you left me anymore." She told Decton.
"I just miss you, I swear."
Decton leaned towards the television, watching his broken girl carefully and sadly.
He was broken too.
"I miss you too Mara." He said but it came out as whisper and it hurt him like hell that she can't hear him but nothing hurt him more than seeing the girl he loved like this.
"Are you okay?" Mara asked.
"I'm worried Dec, worried about you and it's driving me crazy." Mara sighed, "I am worried that you have found someone else, and love them." Mara still didn't look at the camera.
"Maybe you had completely forgotten about me, I know I haven't been the best girlfriend you wished for but I loved you, I really did." Mara said with a laugh.
"Do you remember when we first met?" Mara talked to the camera as if she was talking to him.
"I was such badass back then, and still am, though." She chuckled.
"I remember you told me that you liked my eyes and I was like fuck off because I didn't believe you, but then I realized that you were the only person who complements me." She said tucking her bangs behind her ear.
"You were so nice to me, you told me I was too smart to be wasting my life around clubs and smoking all day." Mara's voice cracked.
"And i trusted you, even though I never trusted anyone but you were different, you weren't afraid of me and my fucked up mind and that always made me see hope in your eyes."
She swiftly shoved her head into her hands, her shoulders slowly shakings with tears, and Decton's tears began to make their way down his cheeks.
Mara sniffed.
"I'm so sorry Dec.
I'm so so sorry for being bad all the time." She said quietly.
"I'm sorry for the fucked up time I gave you.
Oh god, I miss you so damn much.
I wish so badly to just wake up by your side one last time."
||tape six||
"I'm losing myself, Dec."
Decton looked at the screen, his eyes widened at the image of Mara.
He was surprised at how skinny she became since the last tape he watched.
"I miss you," She said.
"And i need you."
Mara's eyes traveled the wall beside her.
"I'm scaring everyone in here and they are giving me a lot of medicines.
They think it will help me." She shook her head.
"But I am not feeling better, In fact I am feeling worse and worse by the day.
Last night I had a break down and I pulled a needle on a nurse." Decton gasped.
He wasn't scared from her but he was scared at her.
"I was going to sleep and your photo was in my hands, which is the only thing they let me keep it but she was being a bitch.
She took the photo and began to say that I don't deserve you and I will never see you again." Mara's voice cracked.
"She said that you'll be happy if I just kill myself and disappear from your life.
Then without realizing I grabbed the needle and I almost instilled it into her arm before the the guards shove me to the bed." Mara began to cry.
"They kept me tied up to the bed all night and I got lost inside my own self."
"I just realized I'm not me anymore, I lost the real Mara.
This person right now is fucking insane and I hate it." She sighed.
"There's no white color inside anymore.
Now the further you go, the darker it gets."
"Now I hate everything.
I hate me, I hate my mind and I hate the things i done but most of all, all i think about, every second, is that i hate being away from you."