Chapter 2
CoreStrengthPro · 4 hours ago
RIP to this man's rival.
Pour one out for the freckled idiot.
He has no idea what's coming for him.
At that rate, you're going to defy biology and someone is going to end up pregnant.
312 points Reply
GoldOctane818 OP · 3 hours ago
If you saw his ass you would understand
2.4k points Reply
tossaways_on_tossaways · 7 hours ago
Babe you've been hooking up with the same person for SIX YEARS with rules about last names only and you think YOU'RE the one catching feelings?
He's been showing up for six years.
He has feelings.
You both have feelings.
You are the last two people on earth to realize this.
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He does not have feelings.
He has a schedule and a very boring routine and I happen to be part of it.
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tossaways_on_tossaways · 6 hours ago
Six years is not a routine, it's a marriage without paperwork.
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purged_my_ex · 5 hours ago
Can confirm.
My ex and I did the "no feelings just hooking up" thing for three years and we now have a mortgage and a labradoodle.
I do not want a labradoodle.
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That's literally what I said three years ago.
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cheryl_in_finance · 6 hours ago
Make him pasta!
It's so easy.
Lemon, butter, garlic, parmesan.
Five minutes.
You will not set off the smoke alarm and he will eat it because pasta is universally beloved.
Stock the drink.
Dim the lights.
For the love of god, tell him how you feel.I am going to follow this account and I will need an update.
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TheAncientsTomesVI · 5 hours ago
Six years and you've never been to his house?
OP, you're the side piece.
He has a wife and three kids in the suburbs.
Wake up.
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You are an idiot.
I have seen his 'fuck condo.' It has one bed, one chair, and a fridge with only HydraFuel.
No wife lives there unless she is a cockroach.
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frankly_fiona · 6 hours ago
Clean sheets.
I cannot stress this enough.
Put clean sheets on your bed, put out a fresh towel for him, and clear a space in your bathroom for his stuff.
You don't have to announce any of it.
He'll notice.
Those details are louder than words.
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I have very expensive sheets with Azurian cotton.
He will know they are clean because they will smell like the detergent I buy from Veridia.
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frankly_fiona · 5 hours ago
This has "Junior Partners at rival law firms" written all over it.
The "rules" are just your way of avoiding a conflict of interest that would get you disbarred.
OP, if you're rich enough for your silly sheets, just quit and go work for his firm.
Problem solved.
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I would never work for his firm.
His organization is second-rate.
They have history but no future.
My organization is the best because I am there.
If I left, the building would probably fall down from sadness.
BeenThereDoneThat_55 · 6 hours ago
Real talk: you've been sleeping together for six years and never stayed the night.
That's not a rule, dude, that's a fucking wall.
Inviting him to your home, cooking for him, having his drink ready... all good things, but you're also asking him to step over that wall.
Be ready for the possibility that he does, AND be ready for the possibility that he's scared to.
Patience.
Give him room.
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This is... yes.
You are right.
He is not good with things that are new.
He takes time with everything.
Took forever for him to even realize that I was also attracted to him after we met, and I had to arrange opportunities to meet.
I will give him room.Even if it kills me to watch him take his time.
He is so boring and slow.
BeenThereDoneThat_55 · 5 hours ago
If you've waited six years, you can wait one more evening.
Let the house do the talking.
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DuckFat88 · 5 hours ago
This sounds like a plot to a bad fanfic.
"We are technically rivals." What does that even mean?
Do you work for GrillMaster and he works for ClownBurger?
If you're actually rich, just hire a consultant to decorate your house so it looks "normal" and stop whining.crossposting to v/clearlyfabricated because this reads like fanfic
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I do not "whine." I said my problem.
And I am richer than anyone you have ever met.
I do not need consultant to tell me my taste is better than yours.
If I work for GrillMaster, I am the Master.
He is...
I don't know.
The clown.
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HarborCitySportsBro69 · 5 hours ago
Okay I'm going to need more info on this "competitive field" because you said you're rivals, you travel to the same cities, you meet roughly once a month, and you're both 26 and apparently very well compensated based on the cars situation.Are you guys athletes?
This reads like you're athletes.
The last-names-only thing is VERY locker room energy.Edit: OP's username is GoldOctane818. 818 is a Harbor City area code.
I'm going insane.
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tossaways_on_tossaways · 4 hours ago
He absolutely plays a sport.
Or he models.
Those are the only two professions where someone says "magazines have agreed" with a straight face.
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GoldOctane818 OP · 4 hours ago
I do not model.
I am also not saying what I do.
Leave it.
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HarborCitySportsBro69 · 4 hours ago
Adding "has been in magazines" to the file.
The investigation continues.
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PeacefulLifePeacefulWife · 5 hours ago
No advice but "He once told me I was funny and I nearly drove my car into a wall" had me giggling.
Good fucking luck man
He never compliments anyone.
He said I was funny and he was smiling when he said it and I had to pull over.
I am not ashamed of this.
GuysBeingDudes · 4 hours ago
You should be a little ashamed of this.
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Fuck you
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CroissantQueen_HCT · 4 hours ago
Hot take: you are not afraid he won't pick up on the signals.You are afraid he will.Because if he does, then you both have to deal with what that means outside of hotel rooms.
2.0k points Reply Share Report Save
I do not enjoy this thread.
This thread is trash.
You are all trolls.
I am deleting this.
CroissantQueen_HCT · 3 hours ago
I mean, I am enjoying this
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TechHillSkeptic · 4 hours ago
"Competitive field" + "Last names only" = You guys are definitely high-level software engineers or quant traders.
Is this some weird corporate espionage thing?
Are you afraid he's going to steal your proprietary code while you're making him a tuna melt?
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I do not "code." I do not sit in a chair and look at numbers all day.
My job is physical.
I get paid to be better than everyone else while people watch.
TechHillSkeptic · 3 hours ago
Do you do porn
If only the internet was so lucky
real_counselor_no_joke · 5 hours ago
Okay, real advice.
The dinner is a good instinct.
The drink is an even better one.
But the thing that will actually make this feel different from your usual arrangement isn't the food—it's the context.
You're inviting him into your space.
Your actual home.
After six years of neutral territory and hotels, that IS the gesture.
Don't overthink the menu.
The invitation itself is the message.
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This is the first useful reply I have received.
I will still make the tuna melt because apparently that is my destiny now.
real_counselor_no_joke · 4 hours ago
One more thing—have a plan for what to do if he doesn't pick up on the significance right away.
You described him as oblivious.
He might eat your food, enjoy your house, have a great time, and still not register the shift.
That doesn't mean it failed.
Some people need more than one signal.
How many signals.
Give me a number.
I will do all of them.
real_counselor_no_joke · 3 hours ago
The fact that you're willing to do "all of them" is itself a signal.
You'll be fine.