Chapter 2
I gritted my teeth, fighting to stay upright, just so I wouldn't fall over right then and there. But late that night, while I was getting ready for bed, my strength just gave out.
All of a sudden, I crashed to the floor.
My head hit the washbasin hard, and it felt like my brain was about to burst.
Mom and Dad rushed in when they heard the noise.
Dad helped me up, checked me over, and his face was grim.
He said, "Looks like an acute flare-up from your anemia. Looks like you'll need another transfusion.
"Wake James up! We need to rush her to the hospital, right now!"
But Mom's emotions suddenly spiraled out of control.
She used to dote on me more than anyone.
But now, her eyes were filled with frantic fear and frustration.
She snapped, "No way!
"Her last transfusion was just a few days ago; the doctor said it'd be good for at least two weeks."
Dad looked torn, his face full of conflict.
"We should at least get her checked out first. Let's bring James along, just in case we need him."
Mom's eyes blazed, her voice cracking as she shouted, "Is he just a tool?"
For the first time in her life, Mom completely lost it and screamed at the top of her lungs.
Her voice trembled uncontrollably, but she kept it low on purpose, not wanting to wake James.
She snapped, "Are we just treating James like a blood bank?
"This is the third year we've done this.
"David, it's been three years.
"His homeroom teacher, Ms. Kate Carter, said if he dares to skip the exam again, she won't let him retake the year."
Dad's face gradually turned pale. "Just calm down.
"We're just bringing James along, just in case."
"It's not like we're definitely going to need James to donate blood. Even if it comes to that, he'll still be able to take the exam tomorrow, no problem."
Mom clenched her fists so hard her knuckles turned white, and all of a sudden, tears started streaming down her face.
In fifteen years, it was the first time I'd ever seen her cry.
Her eyes and voice were nearly drowning in despair. "It's the middle of the night—if we wake James up just to take his blood, how is he supposed to do well on his exam tomorrow?
"Why does this keep happening every year?
"She literally just got a transfusion a few days ago.
"I took a long break, and stayed here with you for seven days, watching over her.
"She was perfectly fine just a few days ago.
"Why does it have to be today? Why?"
Dad looked exhausted, not knowing what to do, but he still moved closer to comfort Mom. "Try to calm down.
"Lily didn't do this on purpose.
"She didn't ask for this. She never wanted to be sick."
Mom was trembling all over.
After a long pause, her expression turned resolute, like she'd finally made up her mind.
She said, "Let's send Lily to your mom's for now.
"The SAT will be over over in hours.
"David, I just want James to finally have a real chance, just one shot at something fair.
"Ever since Lily came into this world, it's been fifteen years.
"And every single time, it's always James who ends up giving up, always the one making sacrifices."
I lowered my eyes, feeling utterly defeated.
Blood was seeping from my head, making a mess in my hair.
My eyelids kept drooping, and I could barely keep them open.
Dad's lips were pressed into a tight line, his face dark with worry.
In the dim yellow glow of the lamp, he looked like he'd aged years in just a moment.
Mom's sobs were full of pain and helplessness as she tried to hold back her tears. "She just had a transfusion a few days ago. There's no way her anemia is acting up again.
"Maybe she just caught a cold or something.
"David, if you want to call me selfish, go ahead.
"I just want to let James have this one chance, let him focus on his exam for once, without having to worry."
The room fell into a deathly, heart-stopping silence.
Just a few steps away, James's door was firmly closed.
He'd gone to bed early tonight, with the big exam waiting for him at sunrise.
He'd been waiting for this exam for three whole years.
Over a thousand days and nights, more than a hundred practice tests.
My eyes grew misty, vision blurring with tears.
After a long moment, I reached out with a shaky hand and pulled on Mom's faded sleeve. "I... I miss Grandma. I want to stay at her place for a few days."
Mom whipped her head around to look at me.
Her lips quivered, and her gaze dropped, flooded with sorrow and guilt.
She crouched down and pulled me into a tight hug, holding me close even though I was still sitting on the floor.
I could hear her voice trembling uncontrollably. "Lily, I'm so sorry.
"I'm so sorry, Lily. Mom messed up. This is all on me."
Dad drove through the night.
Mom sat with me in the back seat, and we headed straight to Grandma's place.
The car rattled down the road, and my head felt fuzzy—my consciousness started to fade, slipping into darkness.
****
All the way there, Mom held my hand tight, never letting go for even a second.
Her hand was warm and comforting.
I tried to etch that feeling deep into my memory.
This was the warmth of Mom's hand, the warmth only she could give.
When we got out of the car, Mom's eyes were already swollen and red.
She pulled me into a tight embrace, her voice trembling with emotion. "Lily, James—
"He deserves his own future, his own path to follow.
"I let my emotions get the best of me and said things I shouldn't have.
"Once James finishes his exam, I'll properly apologize to you, Lily. I promise."
Dad looked completely worn out and let out a heavy sigh. "We promise.
"We'll come pick you up right away in two days, okay?"
They were asking me, but before I could say anything, Mom was already urging us to leave.
But before I could say anything, Mom was already urging Dad to leave. "We have to get James to his exam in the morning. We need to head back now."
When I looked up again, Dad's car was already out of sight, speeding away down the road.
Late at night, the wheels spun over the ground, kicking up a few yellow-green leaves.
Grandma was getting old, and she was starting to show signs of dementia.
She just stood at the door for a bit, then wandered off to her room on her own.
The wind hit me right in the face and mouth, and I started hacking uncontrollably.
This time, it was so bad I felt like I was about to cough up my guts.
I stumbled back to my bedroom, barely making it inside.
The moment I lay down, I coughed up a mouthful of blood.
The last bit of strength I had left in my body.
It felt like that last bit of strength slipped away with that mouthful of blood.
I lay flat on the mattress, staring blankly up at the dim, shadowy ceiling.
The moonlight streamed in, casting a cold, silvery glow that rippled across the ceiling.
I remembered the little windmill James gave me, always spinning in the breeze.
He said, "When the windmill turns, it blows away all the bad luck and brings good fortune.
He said, "Let the windmill spin and spin, blowing away all the bad luck and bringing you good vibes.
"My little Lily, may you always stay safe and sound."
Lily wasn't safe and sound anymore.
I just wanted James to be alright and ace his exam.
I just kept wishing.
Then I closed my eyes, and everything faded to black.