Chapter 2
But in the end, I didn't die.
When I came to, I was lying in a hospital bed.
James was sitting by my bedside. When he saw me open my eyes, there wasn't a hint of sympathy in his voice.
He said, "Emily, the money I give you for your treatment isn't meant for you to try and end your life.
"If you're going to try again, at least pick a way that doesn't cost me anything. I don't want my money wasted on something disgusting."
My gaze was vacant as I stared at the ceiling, showing no response at all.
Soon, James's phone rang.
It was just the two of us in the hospital room, and the silence was suffocating.
I could hear the woman on the other end, her voice sugary and playful. "James, I'm so bored. When are you coming back?"
"She's still not out of danger. I can't leave right now," James replied.
"But I'm wearing your favorite dress. Don't you want to come home?" she teased.
James's throat tightened, and a spark of desire flashed in his eyes.
He glanced back at my ashen face before finally speaking, "Be good and wait for me. I'll be back soon."
This time, he didn't even bother to give me a perfunctory reply.
I shifted a little, every bone in my body screaming in pain, but I still clenched my teeth and desperately clung to the edge of his shirt.
"D-don't go. Just stay with me for a while, okay?" I said.
Hope flickered in my eyes, but it quickly turned into begging.
If James nodded, I'd pretend none of this ever happened.
But he shook his head, looking exasperated.
James said, "Emily, you'll have to get used to this eventually.
"You've made your fuss, acted out, and I've already promised not to divorce you. What more do you want from me?
He stepped closer and gave my head a patronizing rub, like he was soothing a pet. "Be good. If I'm late, she'll get pissed."
The spark of hope in my heart was snuffed out again, and my hand fell limply to the bed.
I remembered how a homeless man once barged into our home, not only stealing the only cash we had, but also pinning me down and trying to force himself on me.
Thankfully, James came home in time and scared him off with a knife.
After that, James wouldn't let me out of his sight until we finally had enough money to move into a safer neighborhood.
I would never forget the pain of that day for as long as I lived.
But this pain hurt more than anything I had ever felt before.
I watched James walk out the door, then pulled the IV out of my hand.
The nurse rushed over to stop me. She said, "You can't leave now; your life is still at risk."
But I acted like I hadn't heard a thing, limping after him.
To me, losing James felt worse than death itself.
So when I found out he was cheating, the only way out I could see was death.
I flagged down a taxi and told the driver to follow James as fast as he could.
The driver understood right away and kept close behind, only stopping when we reached a villa.
A girl dressed as a maid ran straight into James's arms.
Just one glance and I could tell she wasn't the girl from last night.
She drew lazy circles on James's chest with her soft fingers. She said, "Why'd you spend so long with that old wife? I've been waiting forever."
James kissed her hand, clearly smitten. He said, "I'll make it up to you today."
I watched as he pulled a box out of his pocket.
The girl giggled, slipped her arm through his, and together they slid into the car.
My whole body went numb, and I couldn't stop retching.
I wanted to run over and demand answers, but the fear that he'd abandon me again kept me frozen in place.
Once things had settled down, James drove off by himself, leaving the girl standing there alone.
I rushed over like I had lost my mind, clinging desperately to her wrist.
"He's married, and you're not the only woman he's seeing. Did you know that?" I shouted.
The girl gave me a cold stare, yanked her hand free, and snorted with a sneer.
She said, "Oh, you're the famous Mrs. Foster, aren't you?
"Wow, just as much of a nutcase as Mr. Foster said."
All those lines I had practiced were gone. I couldn't get a single word out.
Guess I was the only one clueless about everything.
After that day, stalking James became the only thing I did every single day.
I even bought a camera so I could catch him with those girls on film.
Little by little, he started catching on and kept finding ways to ditch me.
Whenever I couldn't find him, the anxiety of not knowing where he was would eat me alive.
I'd text and call James frantically.
He blocked me on everything, so I started showing up at his office, asking everyone I ran into if they had seen him.
After I had grilled the tenth person, James finally appeared.
Before I had a chance to be happy, two men behind James grabbed me and dragged me away.
"Emily, you're out of your mind!" James snapped.
This time, I didn't fight back. I let them drag me away.
Because honestly, I thought I was crazy, too.
They hauled me back to the villa. James hired the best psychiatrist money could buy and brought in bodyguards to keep me under constant surveillance.
With a weary sigh, James said, "Emily, how much longer are you going to keep causing trouble? I'm so tired.
"If you really can't take it, I'll let you go; we can get divorced. I'll give you a ton of money so you can live however you want. Please, just stop torturing me. I'm begging you."
The last time he pleaded with me was when I had a cold and stubbornly refused to take my medicine.
Now, he was begging me so he could get closer to another woman.
James placed the divorce papers in front of me, and for the first time in forever, a hint of emotion stirred in my lifeless eyes.
One year, during a heavy snowstorm, I came down with a fever that wouldn't break. James carried me through three different hospitals in the snow before finally finding an available bed for me.
The doctor said I had pneumonia and needed to be admitted.
Neither of us had a dime to our names.
James was already worn out from supporting me, and I couldn't stand the thought of dragging him down any more, so I slipped away without telling him.
He searched for me for a whole day and night, and that was the first time I ever saw him break down and cry in front of me.
"You're all I have left. If you leave, too, what's the point of me living alone?" James had said.
But now, he was the one trying to drive me away.
I turned to him and said in a rough voice, my words shaking, "No. I'm not leaving."
James stared at me for a long time, not saying a word, only letting out a few soft sighs.
After that day, he never showed up again.
Maybe with all the drama gone, and the doctor looking after me, I started getting better day by day.
I started dressing up like before, and every day I cooked up all of James's favorite meals.
I kept imagining he'd walk through the door, hoping I could somehow fix what was broken between us.
Just like I had been wishing for, James finally came.
But he didn't come alone; there was a girl with him.
She wore a loose T-shirt and had barely any makeup on, totally different from the girls James usually brought around.
James didn't flirt with her or try to touch her. Every move he made was careful, almost nervous.
Even the way he looked at her was clear and innocent, not a trace of desire in his eyes.
It was like the way he used to look at me.
All the sanity I had barely managed to piece back together came crashing down in an instant.
I smashed the dishes to pieces, and the girl, startled like a frightened rabbit, quickly apologized.
I grabbed a shard of broken plate and pointed it at them, yelling, "Get out. Both of you, get out!"
The next moment, I was slammed onto the coffee table, shards of glass flying everywhere.
James pulled the girl behind him, shooting me a fierce glare.
He said, "You can throw a fit with those people, you can act out with me. I can tolerate it.
"But if you ever hurt Grace, you'll regret it..."
I wasn't sure if it was the emotional blow from James or the stabbing pain in my gut that finally pushed me over the edge.
Before he could finish his sentence, everything went dark, and I passed out cold.
When I finally woke up, that was when the truth hit me.
I had a miscarriage.