Chapter 1
To marry the stunningly beautiful Regent, I deliberately announced at the palace banquet, "I like pretty boys with feminine features!"
The Crown Prince, Theoden Warwick, freaked out when he heard this. He rushed to the Regent for advice in the middle of the night. The next day, rumors spread that he was planning to neuter himself.
His reasoning? "If you want a pretty boy with feminine features, then shouldn't I stop looking like a man first?" he said.
It felt like my great-grandmother and all my ancestors were waving at me from the heavens. I was so terrified that I dropped to my knees in front of Theoden.
"Your Highness! Please, spare yourself! That's my future happiness you're about to ruin!" I pleaded.
*****
The wildest news in the Valemere Kingdom wasn't about border wars or exam scandals. It was that the Crown Prince, Theoden Warwick, locked himself up in Crownfall Palace and bawled all night just because he got three pimples.
Yeah, that was correct.
Theoden was fifteen. It was supposedly the age when boys were busy flirting and breaking hearts. But this dude's innocence was something else.
He was so squeaky clean, even the ants would split up into male and female lines to avoid him. If he saw the royal doctor neutering a male dog, he'd pass out cold.
And he was my so-called childhood friend.
As the heiress of the House of Furnas, I, Aveline Furnas, am about to come of age.
Normally, this would be a day to celebrate. Finally, I could officially choose from all the handsome men in Bellefont and start enjoying my own court of admirers.
However, that scheming old King Gerard Warwick, my uncle, had been plotting to shove me into Crownfall Palace with Theoden for ages.
He always said, "Aveline, you and Theoden are a match made in heaven..."
Uncle, were you seriously blind?
Theoden was the kind of guy who blushed just seeing a girl, scrubbed his hands three times after holding one, and dreamed of a world with zero smut. Me? I was the type who wanted to boss men around and be the queen of chaos.
How was that a match made in heaven? That was a death sentence!
The worst part was Theoden himself. He really wanted to marry me.
His reason? "Back when we were kids playing in the mud, you were the only one who didn't mind my snot and even wiped it off for me."
That was only because I was the one who threw that mud at his face on purpose!
With the wedding approaching, even though there was no set date yet, Theoden was getting anxious.
He just realized a major issue. He hadn't come of age, and the old rules said no marital consummation until he turned twenty, or it might damage his manhood.
So even if I married him, I would be stuck being celibate for five whole years!
"What am I supposed to do?" Theoden muttered anxiously.
Theoden sat by the pond in Crownfall Palace, absentmindedly plucking petals from a lotus flower, his face full of worry.
Beside him, his servant Crispin wore a troubled expression. "Your Highness, maybe you could... plead with King Gerard?"
"Absolutely not!" Theoden replied, his expression solemn. "Rules are rules. As the Crown Prince, I can't be the one to break them."
He gazed down at his reflection in the water.
Looking back at him was a delicate, almost girlish face. He was still a bit babyish, maybe even a little dopey.
"And..." Theoden suddenly jabbed a finger at his forehead. "What is this? What is this?"
Crispin leaned in for a closer look, then nearly jumped out of his skin. "Your Highness! You're... breaking out?"
Three of them!
Three glaring, red-and-white pimples stood out on Theoden's once spotless forehead.
Theoden wailed, "Aveline hates anything ugly! When she was a kid, she saw a toad with a few bumps and tossed it straight into a frying pan!
"If she sees this... she'll definitely call off the engagement! I'm going to lose her!"
Theoden's cries echoed through Crownfall Palace, sending even the crows in the trees fleeing.
To keep me from breaking off the engagement, Theoden decided to turn to a legendary figure outside the usual palace drama for help.
And who was this mysterious master?
It was the current Regent, Aldus Eldvik.
How did I even sum him up? Seductive devil.
He was devilishly handsome, with a mole at the corner of his eye. He could make anyone feel special with just a look. However, he was as ruthless as they come.
He would destroy one's entire family with a smile in court, then hand them a handkerchief to clean up the mess, all with that same gentle touch.
And most importantly, he and I didn't get along.
"Hey, Uncle Aldus!" Theoden shouted.
With his face plastered in powder. He'd swiped his mother's makeup, desperate to look more like a pretty boy with feminine features. Theoden stormed into the Regent's mansion, looking absolutely frantic.
Aldus was sprawled on a couch, playing with a white cat. When Theoden's voice reached him, he lazily lifted his eyelids. His gaze was so enchanting that even women would be jealous.
"Theoden, you're here? What happened? Did your powder cake up on your face?" Aldus said with a lazy smirk.
"Uncle Aldus! Save me!" Theoden wailed.
Theoden threw himself at Aldus's leg, practically sobbing. "Aveline... she's going to call off the wedding!"
"Oh?" Aldus paused, his hand hovering mid-air as he fed the cat, a sly, amused look flickering in his eyes.
He asked, "So who's caught her attention now? Farrow Morcant's stupid son?"
"No, that's not it!" Theoden was practically bawling.
He continued, "At the palace banquet yesterday, she said... she likes pretty boys. Guys who look almost girly! She said those kinds of men make her want to eat them up!"