Chapter 3
After falling flat on his face at work, you would think Kevin would have given up. Turns out, I was being naive.
I was leading a project, and my point of contact in the tech department was, of course, Kevin.
I had sent him the full requirements doc on Monday morning.
He replied at the time: [Got it. Looks good.]
But then, with the project set to launch Friday, he dropped a message in the department channel at 11 PM on Thursday night, right as I was about to go to sleep.
Kevin: [Leah, I was just rereading this doc, and some of the requirements are a little vague. I'm just now getting what you meant, so yeah, no way this is getting done tonight.]
Snorting, I immediately posted a screenshot of our Monday chat.
Leah: [I sent this on Monday. You said, and I quote, 'looks good.' And now, four days later, you're telling me you 'just figured it out'? Kevin, is your procrastination a terminal illness?]
Kevin: [I've been a little busy with wedding planning, okay? I forgot. Can't you have a little compassion?]
Leah: [I have compassion for you, but who has compassion for me? The client is expecting delivery tomorrow. A one-day delay costs us a $200,000 penalty. Are you offering to cover that?]
He sent back a chilling message: [LOL. Your problem, not mine.]
I sneered, "Oh, so that's how we're playing this."
I forwarded the entire exchange to the main Tech Department group chat.
Leah: [Mr. Mccray, apologies for the late hour, but I need your guidance. Kevin confirmed these requirements on Monday but has just informed me he can't complete the work.]
Leah: [The project launches tomorrow. Should we assign a new developer, or should I inform the client about the delay? I've already forwarded them our chat log, and they are currently awaiting our decision.]
Cameron Mccray was online. He replied in seconds.
Cameron: [Kevin, what is this? I reviewed that document myself. It's perfectly clear! You will stay and finish it. I want it on my desk by 9 AM tomorrow.]
Cameron: [If this project is delayed, it's coming out of your performance review, and you will be held fully responsible.]
Kevin, clearly terrified of our no-nonsense director, meekly replied: [Understood.] He didn't say another word.
The next morning, I walked into the office and saw Kevin shuffling out of the tech area with dark circles under his eyes. As he passed my desk, he shot me a glare that could curdle milk.
I gave him a bright, cheerful smile and made an 'OK' sign with my hand. "Morning, Kevin! Tough night? Hope you got it all done! Wouldn't want to delay things, right?"
He gritted his teeth. "Leah," he hissed, "you just wait."
I laughed, answering, "Oh, I'm waiting. But next time you decide to play games, you might want to remember that chat logs are forever.
"By the way, all-nighters are terrible for your liver. You should probably start drinking some kombucha or something. Wouldn't want you to, you know, lack the stamina for married life.]
Next to me, Brian was shaking so hard with suppressed laughter I thought he'd fall out of his chair. He DMed me: [Savage. You're my hero.]
I smiled at my screen, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction.
"You want to mess with me?" I murmured. "Kevin, you're not nearly smart enough for this fight."
After the work sabotage failed spectacularly, Kevin, undeterred, set his sights on borrowing a wedding venue.
Helen told me she had overheard him in the break room, screaming into his phone, "What do you mean, no? It's an empty house! Is letting me use it for one day going to make it fall down?"
Sure enough, by afternoon, the office gossip was that he was relentlessly hounding Alex Carter, a sweet guy from accounting who had just gotten married.
Alex had posted photos of his new condo last week. It was a gorgeous, minimalist place that looked straight out of a magazine.
I was heading to the kitchen when I saw them. Kevin had Alex backed into a corner.