Chapter 2
Somehow, Kevin's fiancée, Jessica Adams, got added to the group chat. I guess when you're getting flamed that badly, you have to call in the cavalry.
She immediately dropped a 60-second voice memo. The app automatically transcribed her voice message. I read the text instead of playing the audio and had to stifle a snort.
Jessica: [Oh, come on, you guys, don't be so mean to my Kevin! A wedding is such a happy occasion, and we should all be helping each other out! And $500 is really not that much.]
[My best friend's coworkers all gave $3,000 each. Now that's a company with class.]
She paused, then tagged me specifically. [Leah, you're such a pretty girl. Being my bridesmaid would be doing you a favor, honestly. Don't be so ungrateful. You know, as women, we attract more bees with honey.]
I stared at the transcribed text, my fingers a blur on the screen.
Leah: [Jessica, is it? First, your friend's coworkers all pitched in $3,000? She might want to check if her 'company' is actually a pyramid scheme because no normal workplace does that.]
Leah: [Second, your fiancé still owes a colleague $1,000, and just yesterday he was in this very chat begging for $200 to keep his lights on. Maybe he should pay off his debts before he starts soliciting wedding donations?]
The moment I hit send, the guys in Tech who despised Kevin pounced.
Peter: [She's right! He borrowed $700 from me two months ago for a new graphics card, promised to pay me back on payday, and then completely ghosted me!]
Sam: [Me too! He said he'd buy me a coffee and made me spot him, but I never saw that five bucks again. I have the receipts!]
Brian Miller, the intern, DMed me: [Leah, I have a screenshot of him begging for money in the department chat last week. Post it or nah?]
I wrote back instantly: [Post. It. Now.]
Brian dropped the screenshot in the main chat. It showed Kevin's message loud and clear: [Anyone got cash? Need $200 for the electric bill. Pay you back next week.]
Below it was a string of replies: [Sorry, broke.]
[Just paid my mortgage.]
And in the end, nobody even replied.
Kevin started to panic, typing: [What are you guys talking about? I just forgot! It's not like I wasn't going to pay you back!]
Jessica immediately jumped in to do damage control.
Jessica: [Oh, honestly, it's such a small amount of money. Is it really worth getting so worked up about? My Kevin is just too sweet. He's too shy to hound you for the money back.]
I fired back.
Leah: [So, let me get this straight. He's too 'shy' to ask for his money back, but he's bold enough to demand a $500 gift from all of us? The math isn't mathing.
Leah: [How about this: he pays back every single person he owes, and then we'll consider the gift. Deal?]
A chorus of agreement filled the chat. There were messages like "I'm with Leah on this one!" and a flood of "She's spitting facts."
Helen DMed me: [Leah, your takedowns are a work of art. I see it now. You can't be nice to people like that.]
I replied: [You're just getting that now, Helen? When you're dealing with a thug, you have to speak a language they understand.]
Kevin and Jessica went radio silent. They were so thoroughly owned that they had nothing left to say.
The chat started blowing up with reaction GIFs. Someone sent one of Homer Simpson backing into a hedge, and suddenly the whole chat was spammed with "nope" and "I'm out" memes.
I leaned back in my chair, looking at the screen. I felt a whole lot better.
Kevin wanted to guilt-trip me? Please. He was not even in my league.