Chapter 2

Noticing Diana was about to walk in, I cleared my throat to warn Sophie and Rachel to keep their expressions in check. No eye rolls or smirks that might hurt her feelings.

"Hey, you're all here. Guess what? I just did something good. I chucked out all the mouse traps from every dorm basement. Think about how many innocent little lives I saved. I've done my good deed for the day. You're probably wishing you'd done it too," Diana bragged, looking super pleased with herself.

"Why aren't you guys saying anything?" she asked, glancing around at us.

We all looked pretty grim, and Rachel was practically grinding her molars, her brows knitted tight.

"Diana, you're so kind. I really should learn from you," I said with a straight face.

I mean, I honestly believed kindness was a great quality, but Diana-level kindness? Yeah, that was never happening for me.

"You guys are still way behind. And Heather, don't you forget, you viciously killed a cockroach yesterday. You're headed straight to the lowest level of hell. If you start mourning it like I told you, maybe you'll get some mercy. But even if you're forgiven, on Judgment Day, you might as well come back as an animal. And don't expect to keep your soul intact," Diana announced, practically glowing with self-righteousness.

Honestly, if I had to come back as an animal, I'd choose to be a mosquito. I'd just buzz around and bite everyone I didn't like, and with someone like Diana leading the charge to protect me, I'd have it made.

"Heather, what did you have for lunch?" Diana blurted out, her tone sharp and dramatic.

She was glaring at the takeout bag next to my desk, as if she could burn it with her eyes.

"F-Fried chicken," I mumbled. "You actually ate meat? Didn't I tell you to stop? Someone as cruel and heartless as you is going straight to the deepest part of hell! And I actually tried to help you. You're absolutely hopeless," Diana ranted, her voice full of righteous fury.

Her rant actually bummed me out a little. Guess I wouldn't even get to come back as a mosquito.

But hey, at least Diana's got a guaranteed ticket to heaven.

I gripped her sleeve so tight that my fingertips went numb.

"Since I'm beyond saving anyway, Diana, you take over the mourning. Maybe it'll count in your favor when the time comes. I know I'll never be as pure as you, so let me at least help you earn your spot in heaven," I said, putting on my best innocent look.

"Everything's set up for you, right on your bed. Now you can start mourning the moment you wake up and keep it going until you fall asleep. Think of all the good karma you'll earn," I added, barely keeping a straight face.

"And hey, you don't even have to thank me. You totally deserve it." I finished, smirking like I'd just handed her a winning lottery ticket.

Diana climbed onto her bed and froze. It looked like a tiny funeral.

Black fabric was spread everywhere. A squashed cockroach laid out right in the middle of her pillow, with two mini wreaths and a black-and-white memorial photo between them.

"Heather, are you insane? Why would you put this on my bed?" she screamed, chucking everything onto the floor.

I frowned.

Didn't she say mourning the cockroach would earn good karma?

Was she just too shy to accept such a big gift?

I decided she must just be acting modest.

*****

So for the next few days, every time Diana left the dorm, I'd get to work setting up her personal memorial corner.

If she had an early class, I'd wait for her to leave, then sneak in and spread the black cloth over her bed.

When she went out for meals, I'd place the cockroach's memorial photo smack in the middle of her desk, flanked by two tiny wreaths.

I was absolutely determined to help Diana earn all the good karma she could get.

But she totally lost it, yelling at me nonstop and even tossing the cockroach's body and its memorial photo straight into the trash.

Without my materials, the whole karma project fell apart. I had to give up.

She just wasn't cooperating.

Honestly, what a waste of a good opportunity.