Chapter 4
My phone rang two seconds later. It was Carter.
I calmly declined the call and typed a quick text.
[My friend gave it to me. Said her cousin wanted me to have it. What do I have to do to get them locked up?]
Carter's reply was instant.
[Kaylee, go home. Right now. Drop whatever you are doing and go home.]
I typed back just as fast: [I'm not going back. You all might be fine forgetting my dad, but I'm not.]
After sending that, I powered off the phone.
Sophie and I danced like possessed souls. I mirrored her every move, losing myself in a frenzy that bordered on madness.
We didn't stop until the first light of dawn began to bleed through the night. Finally, she approached me.
"Did it feel good?" she asked. "My cousin said if you do him a tiny favor, he'll keep hooking you up for free."
I plastered on a fake, eager smile and hugged her.
"Oh my god, yes. What kind of favor?"
The next afternoon, Sophie dragged me to meet her cousin, Declan Pearce.
He was a punk in his mid-twenties, with dyed-yellow hair and a tacky floral shirt.
The second I arrived, his hands were on me, giving my backside a couple of groping swats.
"So you're Kaylee," he smirked. "Sophie tells me your old man is a dead cop."
The second those insults about my father left his mouth, something in me snapped. My hand twitched, ready to deliver a stinging slap across his face.
I dug my scarlet nails into my palms until they pierced the skin. That sharp sting was the only thing that kept me from striking him. I managed a muffled "Yeah."
He just smiled, staying silent.
He tossed a bag full of white pills onto the desk between us.
He said, "Felt good last night, didn't it? Made all that bullshit your mom puts you through feel a little lighter, huh?
"You do me a favor, and this whole bag is yours.
"Whenever you wanna check out of reality, you can do it whenever you want."
The moment the words left his mouth, Sophie practically threw herself at the desk. Her eyes were feral with desperation. She grabbed my arm, shaking it violently.
"Kaylee, say yes. Hurry up. Just say yes," she pleaded.
My grip tightened for a fleeting second. Then, I let go. I nodded.
The second I agreed, Sophie lunged for the bag of pills, scooping a handful out and shoving them into her bra as if she were terrified someone would steal them.
The twisted grin on her face made my stomach turn over.
Sophie and I went way back. When things with Courtney were at their absolute worst, she was my only companion.
She was the one who skipped class to smoke behind the bleachers with me. She was the one who held me while I cried until I threw up.
When I found out about the pregnancy, she was the one who ran through the city streets with me at 2 A.M., screaming at the sky.
She lectured me countless times about my mother. "You're so lucky. Having a mom is better than being alone. Cherish her."
Sophie was an orphan. Growing up with an aunt who used her as a punching bag, she had learned early on to swallow her tears. She never dared to cry, terrified that even a single sob would get her kicked out into the street.
She used to say those things with a deadpan expression, but I always noticed how badly her hands shook when she held her cigarettes.
Thinking about that now made my heart shatter. As soon as we left the bar and hit the sidewalk, I grabbed her wrist.
"Sophie, do you even know what that shit is going to do to you?" I demanded, my voice dropping.
Her body trembled just a little.
But then, almost instantly, her face twisted into a snarl. She ripped her arm away and shoved me hard.
"I know exactly what it is," she screamed. "Weren't you the one bitching about how miserable your life is? I gave it to you because I thought it would help."
My heart skipped a beat as I realized she had completely misread me.
I lunged forward, my hand reaching out to grab her arm.
She whipped around, furious, and slapped me right across the face.
"You're so fucking fake, Kaylee," she spat. "Every time you cry, it makes me sick.
"You have a mom. You have a nice house. You never have to worry about where your next meal is coming from. And me? I have nobody.
"I got beaten black and blue every day of my childhood. Do you know what it feels like to have absolutely no one? I never cried. But you? You cry over everything.
"In this world, only kids who are actually loved get the luxury of crying. Because I knew that no matter how loud I screamed, nobody would come. Nobody would care."
As the tears tracked through the grime on her cheeks, my chest tightened with a familiar, searing agony. It felt like a thousand tiny cracks were spreading across my heart all at once.
"But I care," I blurted out. "I care if you hurt. Sophie, promise me you won't take any more of those pills..."
"Shut up, Kaylee," she shrieked, cutting me off. "We're done. We're not friends anymore."
Her eyes were burning with rage. She pushed me away with a violent shove and scrambled away in a panic.
I stood there, watching her figure blur into the distance, until my vision finally surrendered to a sudden rush of tears.