Chapter 6
After that day, I couldn't bring myself to see Emily for several days. When she called, her voice was full of excitement because her interview went really well, and the company might hire her.
Listening to her, I felt like there was a stone sitting on my chest, and I could barely breathe.
"Ben, what's up? You sound kind of out of it," Emily said.
"It's nothing, maybe a little cold," I replied.
"Drink more water! Oh, by the way, has Olivia gotten in touch with you? She rushed out that morning, and hardly replied to my messages, said something about family stuff. Is she feeling down about her breakup? I'm really worried about her," Emily said.
My heart tightened. "No, she hasn't contacted me. I guess... she's okay."
"I hope she gets over it soon. Seriously, why are guys always like this? Never satisfied, always chasing after something else. Not a single decent one out there." Emily sighed.
She didn’t mean it, yet her words stabbed right into my heart like a sharp needle.
"Hey, you can't say all guys are like that," I replied awkwardly. She didn't mean anything by it, but her words hit me like a needle straight to the heart.
"Hmph, well, if you ever mess with me, I'll..." Emily rambled on, tossing out playful threats. Listening to her, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth.
After hanging up, I stared at my phone screen for a long time, hesitating before finally tapping on Olivia Sinclair's profile. Her social media only showed posts from the last three days, but there was nothing there.
Our chat history was frozen from months ago, back when I'd added her through Emily's contact, a simple exchange of "hello."
I typed out a line: [About that day... I'm sorry. And, are you... okay?]
My finger hovered over the send button for ages, but in the end, I deleted every word, one by one.
'What am I even supposed to say? An apology? That would sound fake. Showing concern? Who am I to do that?' I thought.
In the end, I sent nothing.
We were like two lines that crossed by accident, and after that chaotic rainy day, we slipped back onto our own tracks, quietly speeding away from each other in opposite directions.
Some things, once they happen, there's no turning back.
The smell of that rainy day, the warmth of her skin and the emptiness in her eyes, those memories would replay in my mind, especially late at night, or whenever I saw Emily's smile.
Guilt and a secret, shameful desire I despised even in myself tangled together, pulling me deeper into my own self-disgust, again and again.
I tried to treat Emily as well as before, if not better. I bought her breakfast, picked her up after work, and remembered every little thing she mentioned.
But the more I did, the bigger the hole in my heart grew. The better Emily treated me, the more she trusted me, the more I felt like a complete asshole.
And Olivia, she never showed up at any of our get-togethers after that. Whenever Emily tried to invite her, Olivia always found some excuse to turn her down.
When Emily brought her up, she'd sigh and say, "Olivia's changed a lot. Whenever I ask her something, she gives me the brush-off. I guess she still hasn't gotten over it."
But I knew deep down, it wasn't the breakup that did this to her.
At least, not completely.