Chapter 5

What happened next felt like a wild, out-of-control dream. I couldn't remember who kissed who first, or how we went from the edge of the bed to tangled up on top of it.

All I could recall was our breathing, burning skin, the rain pounding harder outside, and that damn coconut scent everywhere.

At first, she tried to push me away, her fingers weakly pressed against my chest. Then she clung to my clothes, gripping so tight her nails nearly dug into my skin.

The whole time, she barely made a sound, quick breaths in my ear, and every so often a muffled whimper, impossible to tell if it was pain or something else.

Through it all, two versions of myself were at war in my head. One screamed, 'Stop! What the hell are you doing? This is Olivia Sinclair. Emily's bed.'

The other sneered, 'So what? Her boyfriend cheated anyway. Emily doesn't know. It's this once, only today, only right now.'

The second voice won.

When the madness finally ended, the rain seemed to ease up. We lay side by side, with a gap between us. Neither of us spoke, neither of us looked at the other.

The air was thick with sticky embarrassment and a sense of defeat, and even that coconut scent had faded away.

I stared at a water stain on the ceiling, feeling like there was a gaping hole in my chest, letting the cold seep right in. 'What the hell did I do?'

We all kept silent.

Olivia was the first to move. She sat up, her back to me, and started getting dressed wordlessly, her movements slow and almost mechanical.

When she finished, she slipped off the bed and headed straight for the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I lay there, like my soul had been sucked out, a hollow shell.

The sound of water running in the bathroom echoed in my ears, and all I could picture were those crescent-shaped eyes Emily had when she smiled. 'That's it,' I thought. 'It's all ruined.'

I had no idea how much time had passed when Olivia finally came out. Her hair was neatly combed, her face washed, aside from her eyes still being a little red, she looked like she always did.

She didn't even glance at me as she walked over to the bed and picked up her bag.

"What happened today," Olivia said, her voice calm now, almost cold, "let's pretend it never happened."

I didn't say a word.

"I won't tell Emily. And you'd better take this to your grave." She paused, finally looking at me, her eyes empty, no emotion at all. "Ben, you let Emily down. I did too. We're both guilty. So let's leave it at that."

With that, she grabbed her bag and walked out without looking back.

I heard the front door open and then click shut.

The place was empty now, me. It was so quiet it was almost scary.

The only thing breaking the silence was the occasional drip of rain from the window ledge, each drop ticking away like a timer, counting down to the end of some part of my life.

I lay there for another ten minutes, then bolted upright, rushed into the bathroom, and blasted myself with the coldest water I could find.

The icy water made me shiver uncontrollably, but the guilt inside wouldn't budge, no matter how hard I tried.

I stared at the pale, bloodshot-eyed stranger in the mirror. He looked nothing like me.

'Was this really me?' I thought. 'The Ben Carter who always thought he was decent, who wanted to be good to his girlfriend?'

I swiped my face harshly.