Chapter 4
Over the next two weeks, I began quietly packing up my things.
It wasn't some big, dramatic packing, just a little bit each day.
From my desk at work, I'd take home one personal item a day.
At home, I'd slip an extra piece of clothing into my work bag every time I headed out.
I rented a small storage locker near the office and put my things in, bit by bit.
Documents, bankbooks, and my laptop's spare charger.
No one noticed.
Alex wouldn't notice a few missing clothes from the closet.
He hadn't paid attention to my side of the closet in ages.
Chloe started hitting me up way more often.
Every couple of days, she'd ask me out for coffee, shopping, or a movie.
It felt like she was trying to make up for something.
Or maybe she was just trying to check on me.
"Emily, have you lost weight lately?" Chloe asked.
"Have I?" I replied.
"Yeah! Your jawline's so sharp now," Chloe said, turning my face from side to side and frowning as she checked me out.
"Is Alex not looking after you? You really shouldn't be working overtime all the time," she added.
I quietly moved her hand away from my face.
"I haven't been working overtime. My appetite's just been off lately," I said.
"How about we grab something tasty? My treat. Let's go for some barbecue!" Chloe offered.
"Nah, I'll just eat at home," I replied.
She looked me over, her gaze lingering on me for a moment.
Then she smiled. "Alright, just make sure you get home early."
That night, when I got home, Alex was in the living room, watching TV.
I set my bag down, and he suddenly spoke up.
"Chloe said you haven't been yourself lately. She asked me to check in on you," he said.
I paused for a moment while taking off my coat.
"She actually said that?" Emily asked.
"Yeah," Alex replied, flipping to another channel. "Is something going on at work? Do you want me to talk to someone for you?"
"I'm fine," Emily replied.
"Are you sure?" Alex pressed.
"I'm sure," Emily said.
He looked at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Alright."
He turned his attention back to the TV.
Fifteen seconds.
That was the total time he bothered to care about me.
He only bothered to ask because Chloe brought it up.
Not asking didn't mean he didn't care, but it just never crossed his mind to check in unless someone reminded him.
I went to the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, and grabbed my phone.
The admission paperwork for Denmark was all set.
My visa was coming out next week.
I booked a red-eye flight for the early morning of September 1st.
Two weeks left.
Something happened during those two weeks.
It was a Friday night, and Alex and I were at home.
He was gaming on the couch, while I was working on my laptop at the dining table.
At 10:30, his phone rang.
It was a video call from Chloe.
He picked up.
"Alex, check this out," Chloe said.
On the screen, she held up a booklet, flipped to a page, and pointed at it for him.
"This is our team's plan for the second half of the year. Do you think this direction works?" she asked.
He set down his controller and studied it for half a minute.
"The budget for the third quarter looks a bit high. You should double-check with the finance team," Alex said.
"Yeah, I thought so too," Chloe replied.
They chatted for over twenty minutes.
Work, life, a book they'd recently read, a show they watched, a song they listened to.
They even talked about whether she should replace the dead dahlia in her office with a kalmia.
I sat about ten feet away, listening to their conversation.
The patience and warmth in his voice I haven't heard that from him in so long.
After hanging up, he picked up his controller and went right back to gaming.
I closed my laptop.
"Alex," I called out.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"When was the last time you talked to me like this?" I asked.
He turned to me, looking a bit confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Just like that—having a real back-and-forth," I said.
"Talking about work, life, what you've been watching or listening to, just sharing things."
He paused, then said something that made me give up for good.
"Come on, you never liked talking about that stuff," he said.
I don't like talking about that stuff?
It wasn't that I didn't want to talk.
Every time I tried, you were always glued to your phone, gaming, or messaging Chloe.
After a few sentences, you'd just go "uh-huh, uh-huh," and if I kept talking, you'd frown and tell me I was being a bother.
Eventually, I just stopped trying.
And since I stopped, you just figured I wasn't into talking.
That's just the perfect cycle, isn't it?
I stood up, walked into the bedroom, and closed the door.
August 30th.
My flight was leaving in the early hours the day after tomorrow.
I'd taken everything out of the storage locker and packed it all into a 28-inch suitcase and a backpack.
I left the suitcase at a hotel near the airport.
Tonight was my last night in this apartment.
I'd finished all the paperwork for my resignation, and my salary and severance had already been deposited into my personal account.
I gave the landlord a heads-up about ending the shared apartment lease early and paid the penalty.
I hadn't told anyone.
Not a single soul.
I called my mom.
"Mom, I'm going to Denmark for two years to study. I'm leaving tomorrow," I said.
She was quiet for a few seconds.
"Is this a good thing?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's a good thing," I replied.
"Then go. You have my support," she said.
She didn't ask why I was leaving so suddenly.
She probably had some idea.
After hanging up, I sat out on the balcony, just watching the city at night for a long time.
The wind was strong up on the eighteenth floor, and the city lights stretched out far into the distance.
I'd lived here for three years.
Every single night for those three years, those lights were always there.
But beneath all that glow, something was quietly decaying, and I never bothered to look.
By two in the morning, Alex was sound asleep.
I looked at his face one last time.
His features hadn't changed, his sleeping position was the same, and his breathing was just as steady as ever.
He felt like a stranger to me now.
I quietly grabbed my backpack, slipped on my coat, and headed to the entryway.
I left the keys on the shoe cabinet.
I gently closed the door behind me.
The cab was already waiting downstairs.
The streets were empty at that hour, and it only took forty minutes to get to the airport hotel.
I picked up my suitcase and checked in for my flight.
The departure lounge was almost empty, with the flight announcements echoing over the speakers.
I sat by the floor-to-ceiling windows, watching the planes out on the tarmac.
My phone was still on.
No messages.
Alex didn't reach out, nor did Chloe.
At 4:10 AM, I powered off my phone.
When the boarding gate opened, I stood up, grabbed my suitcase, and walked over.
The corridor stretched on, the harsh white lights making it feel like the entrance to another world.
I stepped into the boarding gate, pulling my suitcase behind me.