Chapter 8
After a few seconds, he finally spoke.
Richard asked, "What did you say?"
I gave a short laugh.
I asked, "Was I not clear enough for you?
"You treat Lily so well, and you keep it all so secret.
"You even had a kid with her. Doesn't that mean you love her?"
He took a step forward.
His voice started to waver.
Richard said, "I never loved her.
"It's pure hate.
"Her father ruined everything for me. I hate her, do you get it?"
He was breathing hard.
His voice was shaky, barely holding together.
Richard said, "I stayed with her to make her miserable.
"Do you want to know what I did to her?
"I crossed a line.
"I was downright cruel."
He looked up at me.
Richard said, "I could never do that to you.
"I can't even bring myself to raise my voice at you."
I shot him a cold look.
I said, "But you two have a child together."
I paused, something suddenly coming to mind.
I asked, "What's the kid's name? Autumn Smith?"
I let out a soft laugh.
I asked, "Or Autumn Lane?"
He didn't say a word.
I nodded.
I said, "So it's Autumn Lane.
"How old is he?"
He paused, then pulled out a file.
I glanced at it.
It felt like a weight suddenly pressed down on my chest.
Six years ago, when I was pregnant, his Autumn was already six months old.
Suddenly, I wanted to laugh.
But the laugh wouldn't come.
I looked up at him.
I said, "You say you don't love her.
"But for your Autumn Lane, you killed my Autumn.
"You were so scared I'd have a kid who might mess with Autumn's inheritance, you even went and got yourself snipped."
"No," he said.
He spoke quickly.
"It's not what you think," he said.
His voice was unsteady.
"That time she almost bled out," he said.
"I got really scared," he said.
"The doctor said your health was bad back then," he said.
"I just, " he began.
He fell silent, struggling to find the right words.
He looked lost, unable to say anything.
"I couldn't let you go through that again," he said.
I leaned back a little.
I let out a small laugh.
I asked, "So what?
"You made sure I'd never have kids.
"And when I'm old and gray,
"You say you love me more than anyone else,
"But your money's all going to Autumn?"
He looked at me, his voice tight.
"We could try IVF," he said.
I let out a small, bitter laugh.
I echoed, "IVF? Seriously?
"Do you even have a clue what it's like to go through egg retrieval?
"Do you have any idea how much it hurts?"
He swallowed hard.
"We could use a surrogate," he said.
I nodded.
I said, "Surrogacy's illegal, and I'd still have to go through egg retrieval.
"So I'm still the one who has to suffer. Why should I?"
"I could have the reversal surgery," he said.
I felt like laughing.
I echoed, "Reversal surgery?
"Do you even know how long it takes to recover?
"At least six months."
I shook my head.
I said, "Six months from now, you'll be thirty-five.
"And your sperm won't even be viable by then."
I looked at him.
"Once you're healed up,
"we'll have to give it another shot.
"I'll have to go through pregnancy all over again.
"And then it's more waiting to see if it even works.
"Have you ever actually thought about all that?
"By then, how old do you think Autumn will be?"
His voice trembled.
"He won't get a cent. I'll protect our child, no matter what," he said.
I looked up at him.
My voice was soft.
But it was cold.
"When Autumn hits his twenties and is ready to take over,
"So tell me, what happens to my Autumn?"
He went on.
He could write a will, or ship Autumn off overseas so he'd never come back.
He kept throwing out options, one after another.
It was like he was laying out every possible scenario.
I shot down every single one.
By the end, his voice was trembling.
It was like he was finally starting to realize something.
"So what do you want to do?" he asked.
When he finally asked that, he was barely holding it together.
He looked like he was about to fall apart.
I looked at him.
I said, "Divorce."
He stared at me, like he couldn't believe what he'd heard.
"What?" he asked, stunned.
I repeated myself.
I repeated, "Divorce."
I met his eyes.
I said, "I'm going to have my own child with someone else.
"My Autumn."
I paused.
My voice was steady, almost emotionless.
I said, "Your money? We'll split it however the court decides."
He went completely still.
"You're really going to have your own Autumn, with someone else?" Richard asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded.
I said, "Yes."
I looked at him.