Chapter 5
I looked out the window.
A girl with a backpack was running past the building.
She looked just like Anna when she was in elementary school.
Back then, whenever she fell, her first instinct was to turn around and look for me.
Now, she'd learned to run after the sweet things other people dangled in front of her.
I said, "Ms. Parker, she needs to understand that every choice comes with a price.
"I'm not abandoning her.
"But I can't smooth out every bump in the road for her."
Ms. Parker let out a quiet sigh.
Ms. Parker said, "I understand."
That night, James finally called me.
He started off with an accusation.
James demanded, "Helen, what's your deal?
"Ms. Parker's been calling me every single day. Am I supposed to just drop everything at work for this?"
I put him on speaker.
I said, "So Anna's living with you now.
"It's normal for Ms. Parker to contact you.
"When Ms. Parker called me before, you were busy with work, too."
He was caught off guard for a second.
His voice shot up again.
James snapped, "She's just a kid. Why are you being so hard on her?"
I said, "I'm not picking a fight with her.
"I'm just making sure her dad takes responsibility."
James scoffed.
James said, "You just want to prove we can't take care of her, don't you?
"Helen, you're just too cold."
I glanced at the calendar on my desk.
Anna's first monthly exam date was circled on it.
I said, "If you think I'm being cold, then you can keep looking after her.
"The paperwork says three months.
"Until then, I won't get involved."
Grace was yelling on the other end of the line.
Grace shouted, "Don't let her get cocky.
"Anna's perfectly fine here with the Thompson family.
"If she doesn't come begging us to take her back, we're not desperate for her anyway!"
I hung up.
About ten minutes later, Anna sent me a picture.
Her desk was in the shot.
It was cluttered with a bottle brush, some baby wipes, her math test, and a half-empty cup of iced latte.
Then she sent another message.
[Mom, can I come home for dinner this weekend?]
I just stared at her message for ages.
My finger hovered over the screen.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
I walked to the door and saw James standing there on the security camera feed.
He looked like hell, gripping the temporary living arrangement agreement in his hand.
He looked up at the camera.
James ordered, "Helen, open the door.
"We need to talk about Anna."
I didn't open the door right away.
James pressed the doorbell again.
This time, the ring sounded even more urgent than before.
I looked at his face on the security camera.
He was a forty-year-old man, his brows furrowed with impatience, as if none of these problems should ever have landed on him.
He'd always been like that.
Whenever Anna had a fever, he'd always claim he had a meeting at work.
Whenever Anna had a parent-teacher conference, he'd say a client had asked him to dinner at the last minute.
When Anna cried over her essay in the middle of the night, he'd say I was pushing her too hard.
But when she won an award, he'd post a photo on his social media.
He'd caption it, "My girl really makes me proud."
I opened the door but didn't let him in.
"Let's talk right here," I said, keeping my stance firm.
James's face darkened.
James asked, "Helen, do you really have to be like this?
"I'm here to talk about Anna, not to argue with you."
I glanced at the papers in his hand.
The corners were crumpled from his grip.
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.
He was clearly holding back his anger.
He said, "Anna hasn't been adjusting well lately.
"You're her mom. You can't just wash your hands of her."
I said, "I'm not washing my hands of her.
"I get updates from Ms. Parker every day, and I always pass them on to you.
"She's staying at your place now, so any problems should be your responsibility first."
James glanced inside.
His eyes swept over the place, as if checking whether I was living too comfortably on my own.
He said, "You know how busy I am.
"Mary's pregnant, and Mom's getting older.
"Anna's thirteen. Can't she just act a little more grown-up?"
I let out a dry laugh.
"So, when you say 'freedom,' you really mean 'acting like a grown-up,' huh?" I shot back.
He frowned.
He said, "Drop the attitude.
"Just because she's living with us doesn't mean the whole family has to revolve around her.
"She's not a little kid anymore.
"Is it really too much to ask her to help with the groceries, pick up a package, or go shopping with Grandma?"
I said, "It's not too much.
"That's why I didn't stop her."
James was momentarily speechless.
I continued, "But when you promised her, you said she could do whatever she liked.
"Grace said she could sleep in as late as she wanted.
"Mary said she'd treat her like her own daughter.
"And you said she'd be the one calling the shots from now on.
"I remember every single one of those promises."
His face fell.
"Did you record it?" he asked.
I looked at him.
"So you knew those promises wouldn't hold up in the open, right?" I asked.
James's voice turned cold.
He said, "Helen, you're honestly terrifying.
"After all those years as husband and wife, you still act like I'm some kind of criminal."
I said, "We're not married anymore.
"If I have to keep my guard up, that's because of you," I added.