Chapter 1
Edwin was tired of all the people around him. Another BBQ, he hated these things. The boss liked to host one or two a month. He hopes to keep everyone in high spirits and show the local community that the ranch is a good thing. But to Edwin, there were just too many people around. All the bodies near just made him nervous. He didn't know why, but ever since he was little he preferred the company of animals to that of people.
Edwin decided to stick to the outskirts of the party. He didn't think anyone would really notice his absence. Maybe he'll take a walk around the place and see if he can find Lance.
Lance Vilar was probably the one person he could stand to be around for any length of time, besides his mama anyway. He didn't really know why, just that that was how it was.
While Edwin moved towards the closest gap, he couldn't help but notice the people around him. There was a pretty hot woman that he remembered from town. At the diner?
Who cares really?
Then there was a guy that was flashing himself around. 'He knows he is hot.' Edwin thought to himself. He didn't feel weird by the thoughts. Women point out other chicks that are hot all the time.
Doesn't mean anything for him to acknowledge someone's good looks, even another man.
He was walking passed the hayloft when a noise drew his attention. When he turned the corner the site before him froze Edwin in his tracks. One of the ranch hands was leaning against the side of the loft with his shirt unbuttoned and his jeans open, while another man was on his knees in front of him. It was too dark to recognize the men, but the moans coming from the one standing up gave little to imagine about what they were doing.
"Uh, yea, suck it. Mmm, I'm close!
YEAH!
Lance!
!
!" The standing man groaned with release.
Edwin's blood went cold. Lance. Not his Lance, his best and only friend. It can't be. He couldn't place the feelings that stirred in him with this. The man on his knees, L-Lance, stood up while the other man fixed his clothing. Lance had a tall, slim, but toned build that was matching the man previously on his knees. It was him.
"Thanks man," He gave Lance a slap to the back and left. When Lance was about to turn his way, Edwin quickly came to his senses and hurried away from barn. He hoped Lance didn't see him. He had to figure this out before he saw his best friend again.
*
Lance just finished with the hot cowboy from town. Man he loved guys. The scruff, the rough edges, and man the gravely voices, but his favorite was the low groans and moans that came with pleaser.
He was going to his place to take care of a little problem he had.
Lance knew the other cowboy would not be reciprocating, but sometimes that is half the fun. As he turned around though, he caught sight of a retreating back. One of a man that was ofaverage height, but with wide shoulders and stocky build. God that looks a lot like Edwin's back. Lance felt the tight lump in his throat, and swallowed thickly. There are a lot of cowboys at this party; the back could belong to anyone. He tried his hardest to convince himself.
Lance couldn't help worrying that the man was Edwin. Edwin Graves was one of his closest friends, and he knew Edwin had a hard time opening up to just anybody. Why had he kept this from him?
If he finds out, how will he respond?
It was just one of the harder things to tell someone. Yeah, when you are looking for a quick lay it is easy to drop all the right signals, but when you care about someone, you fear rejection. That is exactly why he had not told Edwin his feelings towards men.
Most people know about him, it was never a secret. It was just something he never confirmed or denied.
But with all these strapping hunky cowboys and men, well most can guess how it got around.
Lance worked harder to clear his mind on his way home. That thought made things tricky as well, because he shares a place with Edwin. Please, make the broad shouldered man not be Edwin!
When he walked into the living room, He looked to his friend taking in the dark blonde hair and copper eyes.
Edwin was a good looking guy; there was never doubt about that. He couldn't miss the panicked look on Edwin's face however, he knew the answer.
"I-I'm going to take a shower, and I-I think we should...
.talk." Lance crossed his fingers hoping Bruce would agree. He didn't want to lose his best friend over this.
"Ok."
*
Lance was home and he wants to talk. Edwin wasn't sure if he wanted Lance to know what he had figured out on the walk back.
How could he have been so blind about it all?
Now that he thought back, Lance had always been more interested in the men around them then the women trying to get his attention. It wasn't hard to not notice the facts. Maybe he just chose to ignore them. Well that is most definitely what happened. Every time Edwin saw Lance talking and laughing with someone else, man or woman, Edwin got this feeling of anxiety, more so when it was with men. So Edwin supposed it was like a defense mechanism, just pretend Lance isn't enjoying their company as much as he seems.
Lance finished with his shower and now they were sitting stiffly at the kitchen table. Both were unsure what to do or say about all of this.
"So I guess now you know about...
." Lance started.
"I'm jealous." Edwin blurted out, not meaning to say it quite so bluntly, but not sure how to say it any other way. He felt his face redden as Lance stared at him in disbelief.
"About...
ahem...
About what exactly?" Edwin noticed a look of reserved hope in his eyes, what did that mean?
What would it matter to Lance if he were jealous?
"Well, I don't know...
.you know..." Edwin signed, might as well get this over with.
This was exactly what he was afraid to talk about.
"Of all of it."