Chapter 10 · The Alpha Trials

Chapter 10

The week passed by quickly before my eyes. I’m only half aware of it, seeing bits and pieces of what’s happening around me. The reality of what my brother is facing and the confirmation from my mother that my unborn children are the next in line for the throne just sucks the life out of me. I worry for my brother. I worry for his mate. I worry about the throne. I worry for us. So much worry. We can never really escape it.I vaguely noticed Taj Voss who had panicked when I first returned from the frozen lake.“I left you in my room to sleep only to return without you there!” He was screaming but I could barely hear. “I thought they got to you or something.”Taj must have seen the look on my face because he stopped, giving me a once over as if to look for bruises and such.“You alright?”“Fine.” But I wasn’t really fine. I wasn’t really anything.For the first time in my life, the fight had left my body. What was the point of winning the tournament now? I can’t remember. I feel bad for my family, but I also understand our responsibility. I knew that if my brother had no heirs it would be up to me. I understand the sacrifice, the role I must play, but still… and even still...It’s hard to swallow.It was only a day before we were to enter the frozen forest and everyone was in some sort of solemn mood. They must finally realize that it’s different once we go in there. When the elements are against us, when it’s hunger that creeps up at us and then that blind thirst for blood when our humanity abandons us.Almost a week together and everyone has formed friendships and cliques. There won’t be anything like that in the forest. Death comes whether it’s coming to you or coming to use you.Taj Voss and I were on top of the roof, having climbed from the housing’s side. I don’t know why he followed me here but he did.“I hope you win this.” I hoped to have sounded encouraging but all I sounded was jealous and angry because suddenly that’s all I felt towards him. Anger and jealousy. All he had to do was win and he was free. Nothing was holding him back. Not like me.Voss lifted an eyebrow, lips parting slightly as he stopped chewing his snack– possibly another stolen good. “Where did that come from?”“Nothing. I hope you get your freedom.” Again I sounded snappy and irritated. It took everything in me not to shove him off the roof.“Is it that time of the month again?” He was trying to tease me but even that didn’t move me. “I can’t tell if you’re serious or mocking.”“Serious.” I answered bitterly, making a large ball from the snow from the roof and throwing it at Teapot who was walking out of the housing. He falls on his face and shouts a curse towards us. I don’t pay Teapot much mind and instead face Voss. “Win this. It’s yours.”His face softens, pulling at the sleeve of my shirt. “Jo, what’s wrong?”My jaw clenches. My anger towards him increases and I don’t know why, but I know I shouldn’t… I just am and I can’t stop. I roughly pulled away from him. “Nothing’s wrong, you foolish criminal.”Voss doesn’t flinch from my tone, but he does frown at me. “The tournament of your life is happening tomorrow. Get your head out of your large ass already.”I feel myself bristle. “Did you just call my ass large?”He ignores me and points a finger at my face. “Wake the fuck up. Don’t let whatever happened a week ago distract you from your dream.”I laugh but it’s not a happy one. “What do you know about dreams?”Again, he isn’t insulted, but he did look disappointed and, for some reason, that hurt me more than it should. “I don’t know much but I do know yours and it’s happening tomorrow. The Josephine Petrov I know wouldn’t be sulking. She’d be winning. She’d be swearing up and down that she’ll kill me tomorrow.”Winning.Surprisingly, Taj’s words had the intended meaning that it needed for it to heal my otherwise injured motivation to fight.For the first time in almost a week, I felt myself smile. “You really want me to kill you that badly?”“I wouldn’t die any other way.” He grinned, passing over whatever he was eating.“I won’t really kill you.” I told him honestly, taking a bite of his food. Gone were the days I would have worried if he had poisoned it or stole it. “I don’t really plan on killing anyone unless I have to.”A thoughtful expression washes over his face. “People don’t really come into this tournament with the desire to kill. It just happens.”I ponder on his words and know the truth in them. “I want to be like my father. He did the tournament on his own without help and he did it fast.”Taj stiffened. “You shouldn’t.”“Why?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. Did he know what happened back then?“Your father is a survivor, going through all the terrors that, fortunately, you and I never had to face. But with that survival, he became a monster. He won the hard way, letting his wolf take over and losing control.” The look on his face was a new one, concerned and… dismayed. Images of the unmoving councilman on the carpeted floor when I was younger come into mind. Suddenly, I didn’t want to know what my father did in the frozen forest. “You weren’t living here then, but growing up, the stories of how he was in the tournament aren’t legendary at all, Jo. It was a horror story told to us when we were younger. Something to fear. Something that should never happen to anyone.”Still, my protective instincts take over and I quickly come to my father’s defense. “My father is not that kind of man. Don't try to ruin his image.”“He might be different now, but before you or your mother… he was something else… something out of a nightmare.” Dark gleaming eyes met mine and I lost the ability to breathe. “So no, don’t be like him. Be you. You’re already amazing as you are.”Hating the heat that was starting to build up in my cheeks and in my chest, I shoved at him. “Stop softening me up.”Taj shrugged, leaning his back to the roof. “I’m not. It’s the truth.”I know how desperation can make people stupid and dangerous. Sometimes, most times, it is both. I’ve fought in many wars, bled and watched people bleed. I have been stabbed, cut and choked in that last fight of desperation. Seeing the hysterical look in their faces… the anger and the horror.Desperation is what my father probably had.Maybe something worse.“Why do you hate my father so much?” I asked after a prolonged silence. I don’t know how long we’ve been up here but it’s nice… it’s nice to be with him. And I hate to admit it, but his company, although not exactly wanted at first, is now welcome.A surprised expression flashed on his face. “I don’t hate your father.”“You don’t?” I laughed, not believing him. “You certainly act as though you are. After everything you’ve done.”“No. I really don’t.” The seriousness in his voice surprised me. “I think he’s a great Alpha. A terrifying one, but a great Alpha nonetheless. No one in his lands are hungry or suffering or plagued with disease. We want for nothing. Everything is provided and nothing is lacking. We work and follow rules, and he provides.”Now I am confused. How could he think my father is great when he causes so much trouble? “You just really wanted to piss him off? Is that it?”Taj didn’t bother to look guilty. He never is. “I suppose you could say we were having such a happy life that I wanted to give it some spice.”“That’s an awful way of thinking.” I pointed out, eyes on him with the sky as his background. He looked handsome. I’ll give him that.“I never said it was good. I was just rebellious.” He explained as if that answered all the questions about his criminal ways. “I had no reason behind it other than just enjoying the little pranks I did. Enjoying the trouble I caused others.”I shot him a side eye. “And now you want to become the next Alpha, replacing the current one that’s so great.”Taj shakes his head, tongue out in distaste. “I don’t. I think you already know I don’t. I just want to be free again.”“If I had captured you and didn’t join the tournament you might already be free.” I told him. He’d be punished maybe, but he would be free and not risk his life in a tournament he didn’t believe in.He snorts loudly. “Don’t make me laugh. Your father is great and all, but he is vengeful to those who do not follow him and I’m a repeat offender. He wouldn’t let me live to see the next day.”I closed my eyes. The last of the sun has left the sky, leaving us in the dark. “So that’s your play.”“What is?” He’s lying beside me now. I could feel his deep breaths and could smell that scent that was only his.His warmth was pressing on my side and, in some bizarre way, I found comfort in it. “You’ll let me win and with me being the next Alpha, I’ll let you go.”“That’s a good plan,” He remarked.“That’s your plan.” I remarked back.The troublesome smile can be heard from his voice. “What I had in mind was beating you shitless and then, as my first decree as Alpha, I’ll expunge my record. After that I might give you the title if you’re extra nice to me.”“You’re an asshole.” I said with a groan, opening my eyes to glare at him.Again, he laughs. It was kind of both melodic and playful. “Am I?”Despite the warmth that I started to feel again, I hit him. Hard. Stupid criminal.He dramatically gasps, grasping his shoulder. “That’s not being nice. If you get me mad, I might give the position to Teapot.”I rolled my eyes, turning on my side so I didn’t have to see him. “You’re annoying.”“More annoying than Teapot, So-so Big and Big prattling about their achievements during meals?” He inquires lightly, pulling me back to face him.“What achievements?” I asked, squinting up at him.Taj makes a tsking sound. “Someone needs to work on their listening skills.”“You killed my listening skills with your incessant voice.” I felt the moment the air changed and became thick with electricity. “You’re all I hear these days.”Taj had suddenly shifted in his seat, no longer by my side but hovering on top of me. His arms were on either side of my face as he trapped me under him. He was so close that I could feel his cool breath on my skin, his eyes had changed color too and I could only swallow from nerves. “Tell me you don’t like me, Jo.”I bit the inside of my cheek, my heart was beating erratically and I don’t know why. “I don’t.”“Don’t you?” His voice was as soft as a whisper, caressing my face with an unspoken proposition that was both tempting and scary.All I can think about at this moment is how beautiful his eyes looked and how much they drew me in. His face is handsome and dangerously so. I try to remind myself that this man, this handsome man, is a renowned criminal, a sinner and he will do and say anything to trick people into doing his bidding.Lying is his religion and I was falling for it like a prayer. My lungs felt like they were on fire as I saw the way he was looking at me.Is that a lie too?Are these beautiful eyes lying now?It was suddenly very difficult to breathe.I know he’s not good at all, he even admits to it, but then why? Why do I feel like this? Aren’t I better than all the women he has tricked and won over with this viper like charm?Apparently, I’m not because as he leans forward and then grabs my face, I am so utterly captivated. His eyes search mine so intensely it’s like he’s trying to memorize my soul. He leans closer, his lips nearly on mine. Our mouths are so close our breaths mingle.Internally, I’m screaming inside. This isn’t very smart of me. I know this. I know it like I know his crimes.So why?Right before our lips touch, reality sets in and I shove at him with a force so strong he falls from the roof and lands on a thick pile of snow. “Scoundrel!”I’ve lost my mind. That’s the only explanation.

Chapter 10