Chapter 2
"Fine," Lucian huffs dismissively at Bryce, just when Noah's given up.
"We'll go somewhere else."
"Alright," Bryce says agreeably.
"I'm heading with Noah to the building so I can talk to the manager for a minute and then I'll be back and we'll find somewhere to work."
"Fine," Lucian repeats sourly.
He turns and begins walking in the opposite direction, probably to go get dressed.
"Wait!" Noah shouts.
Everyone in the kitchen freezes and turns towards him.
Looking Lucian in the eye, Noah says seriously, "I love you, Lucian."
After a long pause, Finn bursts into laughter.
Beside him, Hugo joins in, snickering.
Noah's face heats up.
He didn't mean to make it so awkward, but he
had
to do it.
Lucian is completely taken aback until he remembers the mission.
"Okay, Noah McKay," he replies neutrally, and then he's heading away again.
Bryce, who's waiting for Noah by the front door, is barely holding back giggles.
"Shut up," Noah tells him, his face still a bit hot.
He puts on his coat and pushes out the door.
--
As they get deeper into promotions it gets a bit harder for Noah to fulfill his mission every day.
Noah's morning ritual is totally corrupted-- he's so busy scrambling around as soon as he gets up and then running from place to place thereafter that he usually doesn't remember to tell Lucian he loves him until halfway into the day.
He learns something important in the process, though, which is that it's really awkward to have to tell one of your members on the regular that you love them without a schedule in place that makes it clearly compulsory.
The end result is that Noah ends up telling Lucian he loves him at strange times and in strange places.
At first he just says it whenever he remembers.
On days thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen he shouts it at Lucian when, respectively, they are having their mic headsets taped to them before a performance; when they're about to go into the recording booth for a radio interview; and when they're having their makeup done before a photoshoot.
At that last one, Noah had shrieked it so loudly and abruptly that he'd even surprised himself, but also the makeup artist working on him, who had skittered back in terror.
"Sorry!" he told her apologetically.
"Sorry, it's this thing, sorry!"
Lucian just made a face at him from across the room.
Lucian always accepts the 'I love you's, but he also always looks a bit irritated being shouted at, and it does seem to embarass him somewhat when others are around.
The members don't tease after the first week as much as they did in the beginning, but Noah still isn't quite that cruel to keep embarassing Lucian over and over again-- even if it
is
pretty funny-- so he tries to tone it down.
On day eighteen, for example, the group has a tense meeting with management.
Noah recalls his mission partway into the meeting, and when this thought leads him to look at Lucian, he begins to watch the others' expression.
He quickly becomes distracted by how uncomfortable Lucian seems throughout the meeting, appearing annoyed but, even moreso, exhausted.
As they leave the meeting to return to their dorms, the mood low, Noah sidles up to Lucian and tells him very quietly, "Lucian, I love you."
Lucian turns to look at him, surprised.
After a second, he gives Noah a tired little smile.
"Thank you," he says back just as quietly, and they don't say anything more until they're back at the dorm.
*
For the days in the twenties Noah gets a bit quieter around the challenge, waiting until others aren't around, or, if they are, making sure to say it so that Lucian is the only one who will hear.
On night twenty-three he mumbles it as they both half-heartedly brush their teeth like zombies in front of the bathroom mirror, almost passing out right then and there from the exhaustion of back-to-back performances on three hours of sleep.
On day twenty-seven he says it as he passes by Lucian's room on his way to his own bed, seeing Lucian already sprawled out across his bunk.
(All he gets in return is a grunt, which Noah decides is good enough.)
Noah thinks about setting a daily alarm on his phone just in case he forgets one day, but for some reason that kind of ruins the challenge in his mind.
He likes having to remember it himself, likes having to think cleverly so that he can work it into his day.
And...sometimes the way it happens so randomly, the way he'll spring it on Lucian when it just happens to be the two of them alone for a few seconds-- there's something about that that pleases Noah.
It might only be as they pass each other in the dorm hallway, and yeah, everyone else might know about the challenge anyway, but Noah likes that it feels like it's just them doing the mission together, in secret, for just a moment.
*
Noah starts to get kind of stealthy about it, a feat on which he prides himself.
On day twenty-eight they're waiting backstage before a performance, and Noah passes behind where Lucian is seated, lightly touching his shoulder as he moves by.
"I love you, Lucian," he says softly, pausing for just a second to duck down so he'll be heard, and then continues on his way.
Noah settles down in front of a mirror on the other side of the room to check his hair, and belatedly realizes that he can see Lucian's reflection.
He catches the other, unaware that he's being watched, staring after Noah with an unreadable expression.
*
The quietness of the twenties continues on into the mid-thirties.
(He does break this quiet streak, once, when he remembers in the middle of dance practice that he hasn't yet told Lucian that day that he loves him.
They're doing this new chereography where they sort of 'pass' the energy of their movement from one person to one another, the first person freezing as the next one takes on the energy and moves, and it's just too irresistable.
Noah waits until it's turn to pass the energy on to Lucian and shouts, "I love you, Lucian!" over the music as he directs a powerful gust of movement at him.
Everyone cracks up, even Lucian, and for the rest of the dance, whenever energy gets passed, the members shout their endearments to each other.
"I love you, Hugo!" Aidan bellows, overdramatically dropping to one knee and proferring his energy to Hugo like a marriage proposal.
"Be mine, Finn!" Bryce howls, his hand to his heart as he passes his movement on to Finn.
Noah almost dies from laughter.)
On day thirty-six, Noah tells Lucian without fanfare as they all sit down around the table to open up bags of takeout.
Noah settles down beside Lucian, who's already digging into a pasta dish.
"I love you, Lucian," Noah tells Lucian casually, quietly, so that only Lucian can hear.
Lucian just nods, and then wordlessly directs his fork, laden with food, at Noah.
Noah opens his mouth reflexively, and Lucian pops the food in.
Noah sits there chewing, watching Lucian as the older goes back to feeding himself, and Lucian is being totally casual about it.
Because it's a totally casual thing.
It's casual, right?
Right?
Noah feels the tips of his earns burn, and he doesn't know why.