Chapter 4
I sat up and took a look around this tiny room.
My gaze fell on his desk.
An open notebook sat on the desk. It was the exact one I'd seen in the video call.
Right beside it, there was a picture frame.
The frame was old, its wooden edges worn and chipped.
Inside... was a photo of me.
It was a photo from my college days.
In the photo, I was wearing my graduation gown, grinning from ear to ear, my eyes crinkling into crescents.
I hadn't been able to find this photo for years.
I thought he'd thrown it away ages ago.
Turned out, he'd kept it all this time.
I reached out, my fingertips almost touching the frame, when the door suddenly opened.
Ryan walked in, carrying a basin of water, with the chill of the outdoors still clinging to him.
When he saw me, he froze.
The basin in his hand jerked, and water splashed out.
"You... What are you doing here?" he stammered.
His voice sounded almost panicked.
That was really unusual for him.
I'd known him for ten years, and I'd never seen him like this before.
"I couldn't reach you. I was worried something had happened to Sophie," I said.
He could still hear the fear in my voice.
Ryan set the basin down on the floor and wouldn't meet my eyes.
"My phone died, and it's charging. I took her for a check-up and was out all day. It totally slipped my mind," he explained.
As he spoke, his hand automatically went to shut the notebook.
But it was already too late.
I'd already caught a glimpse of what he'd written today.
They read: [Sophie's check-up report: 3.2 feet tall, 33 pounds, everything looks good. Seems a bit shy around others. Doctor's advice: Spend more time outdoors together.]
There was a smaller line of text underneath. [Plan: This weekend, take some time off and bring her to the aquarium. Need to buy tickets ahead of time. See if Julia is...]
His hand blocked the rest of the writing.
But I could almost make out what was underneath.
It should be: [See if Julia is willing to join us.]
An awkward silence hung in the air.
"You..." Ryan and I both started talking at the same time, and then both clammed up.
"You first," Ryan said.
"Why aren't you living in the family apartment complex?" I asked.
"It's just... easier here," he muttered. "There are patrols at night, so it's safer."
I knew that wasn't the real reason.
The family apartment complex had the best security.
"What about the heating?" I asked.
He went quiet for a moment before saying, "The dorm has central heating."
I looked at him.
He looked back at me.
His eyes were deep, like a bottomless lake.
Suddenly, it all clicked.
It wasn't about convenience, or even safety.
He was scared.
He was scared he might mess up taking care of Sophie all by himself.
Living on base meant help was always just a shout away if something went wrong.
The guy who could handle anything on the training field suddenly looked so lost when it came to his little girl.
"Ryan," I called his name.
"Mm?" Ryan answered.
"Thank you," I said.
He paused and then turned away, avoiding my gaze.
"It's what I should do," he replied quietly.
His ears blushed again.
The blush spread from the base of his ears all the way down to his neck.
Seeing him like that, my heart unexpectedly softened.
The walls I'd built up over the past three years since the divorce started to show a crack.
I caught a glimpse of the clumsy, gentle Ryan hiding beneath that tough shell.
Just like old times.
It started raining outside.
Fat raindrops hammered the window, loud and relentless.
The dorm's heater was cranked up, making the room feel stuffy.
"It's already late. You..." Ryan shot a look at the rain outside. "Why don't you just crash here tonight?"
"So... where am I supposed to sleep?" I blurted out.
And the second I said it, I instantly regretted it.
There was just one bed in the whole room.
A narrow twin bed, barely big enough for one person.
Ryan's face froze for a moment, looking just as awkward as I felt.
The vibe in the room got even weirder than before.
"I'll just crash on the floor," Ryan said, already heading to the closet to dig out a blanket.
"No way," I reached out to stop him. "The floor's freezing, and you've got training tomorrow."
I knew his back was not good.
Whenever it rained, he'd always end up sticking on those pain patches.
He said, "Then you take the bed, and I'll take Sophie-"
"Don't move her. She just nodded off," I cut him off.
We both went quiet again.
The rain hammered even harder against the window.
Eventually, I was the first to give in.
"The bed... I think we can all fit," I muttered.
My cheeks were burning as I said it.
"Sophie can sleep in the middle," I added.
Ryan glanced at me and didn't say a word, but I could tell he agreed.
He pulled another blanket from the closet and tossed it onto the bed.
"We'll each have our own blanket," he said.
With that, he grabbed the basin and towel and headed into the little bathroom in the dorm room.
Soon, the sound of running water filled the room.
I stood by the bed, my heart pounding like crazy.
How long had it been since I'd shared a room with this man?
Three years.
Three whole years.
I took off my coat, pulled back the blanket, and settled onto the very edge of the bed.
The mattress was stiff, just the kind people always found on a military base.
The blanket carried a light, soapy scent, with that familiar trace of him lingering in the air.
It smelled clean and comforting.
Sophie lay in the middle, like a tiny picket line between us.
Just as I settled in, the bathroom door swung open.
Ryan stepped out with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
Water droplets slid down his chiseled chest, disappearing beneath the towel.
His hair was still dripping as he dried it off with a towel.
My breath caught. I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
I could feel him come up to the bed.
He stopped for a second.
Then I felt the mattress sink a little right next to me.
He settled onto the bed.
He moved gently, doing his best not to brush against me.
But I could still feel the heat radiating off him.
Even with little Sophie between us, I could still feel it.
It was like lying next to a furnace.
My cheeks were burning up, and I felt restless all over, like I just couldn't get comfortable.