My Son Stood With His Wife

Synopsis

A month after she gave birth, my son's wife pulled out a calculator and said she needed to "settle accounts" with me. She began. "Before I had the baby, you said you'd cover thirty thousand dollars for postpartum care. I didn't go, so you owe me thirty grand. "You took care of me for two months, and you lost thirty-three pounds doing it. Based on the rates at weight-loss centers, dropping that much would've cost forty thousand dollars. "And I let you enjoy bonding time with your grandson. That kind of emotional benefit is priceless, but since you're my husband's mother, I'll give you a discount and call it three hundred and thirty thousand." She tapped away on the calculator like she was working overtime. I just stared at the final number, completely stunned. How did I spend two months helping with everything—paying, cooking, cleaning, taking care of her—and somehow end up owing her four hundred thousand dollars? Instinctively, I turned to my son. He wouldn't even look at me. He lowered his head and mumbled, "You raised me for twenty years. Even if you charge thirty thousand a year, that's only three hundred thousand total. So you still owe a hundred thousand. "But you did give birth to me, so forget it. From today on, we're even." Only then did it hit me. They weren't joking. They were cutting me loose now that they'd gotten everything they wanted. I nodded slowly. If we were really even, then the house and the car I bought last month no longer had anything to do with you.