Chapter 3

At 1:47 a.m., a contraction woke me.

I reached for my phone and started the timer.

Three minutes later, another one came.

I pressed one hand against my lower back, trying to breathe through the pain.

Another contraction came before I could stand.

This one was different.

Sharper.

Deeper.

Then warm liquid ran down my legs and soaked into the carpet.

My water had broken.

I grabbed my hospital bag and made my way to the top of the stairs, holding the railing with one hand.

“Alexander!”

No answer.

“Alexander, I need you!”

Alexander appeared at the bottom of the stairs, his hair disordered from sleep.

“What happened?”

“My water broke.”

I could barely get the words out.

“The contractions are three minutes apart.”

For once, real fear crossed his face.

“Stay there. I’ll get the car keys and your coat.”

For a second, I believed him.

I believed my husband was coming back.

Then Jessica screamed.

“Alexander!”

She appeared in the hallway behind him wearing her walking boot, one hand pressed against her chest.

“I can’t breathe.”

Her breaths came fast and shallow.

“My chest hurts. Something’s wrong.”

Alexander turned toward her.

Then he looked back at me.

For one second, I thought he was going to tell her to wait.

Instead, he walked to her.

“You’re having a panic attack. Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

She grabbed his arm.

Another contraction tore through me.

“Call 911,” I said. “Tell them we need two ambulances.”

Jessica shook her head.

“No ambulance. Please. I can’t be trapped in one.”

“Then take me to the maternity hospital first,” I said. “She can wait here for the paramedics.”

Jessica tightened her fingers around Alexander’s shirt.

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

Alexander looked at her.

Then at me.

“Camille, first babies usually take hours.”

“My water broke.”

“But you’re still standing.”

“Because I’m holding the railing.”

He didn’t answer.

I had spent nine months imagining this moment.

Alexander driving me to the hospital.

Alexander holding my hand.

Alexander hearing our daughter cry for the first time.

I had never imagined standing barefoot on the stairs while he decided whether I was urgent enough to matter.

“You were about to take me.”

“That was before she started having chest pain.”

“She has had panic attacks before.”

“What if this time it isn’t one?”

“I’m giving birth to our baby.”

“And Jessica may be having a medical emergency.”

“So am I.”

His jaw tightened.

“You’re standing. You’re talking. You have your phone.”

Then he added quietly:

“You’ve always known how to handle yourself.”

I looked at him.

“If you walk out, don’t come back and call this a misunderstanding.”

Neither of us moved.

I thought he might still choose me.

Instead, he took his coat from the hook and wrapped it around Jessica’s shoulders.

“Not everything is about you, Camille.”

He guided her toward the front door.

My coat remained hanging beside it.

My hospital bag remained on the stairs.

Another contraction tore through me.

I lowered myself onto the stairs and called 911.

The dispatcher confirmed that an ambulance was on the way.

While I waited, I opened Claire’s email.

The divorce documents were still on the final page.

The button remained beneath them.

AUTHORIZE FILING AFTER BIRTH

Outside, Alexander’s car disappeared into the rain.

I pressed the button.

AUTHORIZATION RECEIVED

Eight minutes later, the paramedics rushed inside.

One helped me onto a stretcher.

The other connected a portable fetal monitor to my stomach.

“Where is the baby’s father?” he asked.

I looked through the open doorway at the empty driveway.

“He took another woman to the emergency room.”

The paramedic’s expression changed.

Then the monitor began to scream.

One of the paramedics looked down at the screen.

“The baby’s heart rate is dropping.”