Chapter 2
Ryan started getting impatient when I stayed quiet.
He stood up, towering over me. "Grace, seriously, just drop it. Olivia's got connections. Getting on her bad side won't do you any favors.
"Her dad sponsors the school, and her mom's basically besties with the principal's wife.
"Plus, she's the student council president. You've got four years here, remember?"
His tone softened a bit as he sat back down and patted my shoulder. "Just listen to me. Apologize to her tomorrow, and it'll all be forgotten."
I snapped my head up. "Apologize? You want me to apologize to her?"
Ryan said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Yeah, you just walked off the stage and made her look bad in front of everyone.
"She organized the party, and you totally ruined her moment. Of course she's pissed.
"And honestly, you're being way too sensitive. It was just a joke. Why are you blowing it out of proportion?"
I stared at him for a long time, long enough for him to get uncomfortable and finally look away.
"Ryan," I asked quietly, "when she told you to pull down my pants, did you even hesitate?"
He stayed silent.
"You didn't hesitate, did you?" I answered for him. "You were actually excited about it."
"No, that's not it..." he tried to explain.
"Yes, it is," I cut him off. "You loved how she needed you, loved showing off for her.
"You never even thought about whether I'd be embarrassed or hurt.
"Because in your mind, I'm just supposed to understand you, forgive you, and support you no matter what.
"Isn't that right?"
I should've seen it coming.
When did Ryan start to change?
Was it the very first day of school, when Olivia fell for him at first sight?
That day, when we were checking in, Olivia spotted Ryan helping me with my luggage and immediately set her sights on him.
She put on her sweetest voice and asked, "Hey, handsome, which department are you in?"
Ryan usually ignored girls like that, but when he saw her face, he just froze for a few seconds.
Or was it when he started loving the attention from the campus queen?
During military training, Olivia brought Ryan water and food every single day.
All the guys were jealous, saying he was living the dream.
He kept saying, "It's so annoying," but the smile on his face told a different story.
Or maybe it was the first time he ditched me for Olivia?
That was the second week of school. We'd planned to go see a movie together.
I waited at the theater for two hours before he finally texted me: [Olivia twisted her ankle. I'm taking her to the hospital. You should just head home.]
Later, I found out her ankle was totally fine.
I couldn't even remember anymore.
All I knew was, the boy who used to bring me an umbrella on rainy days was gone.
The boy who used to stand up for me when I was bullied was gone.
All that was left was this version of Ryan, the one who thought I should apologize to the person who humiliated me.
"I'm not apologizing," I said, my voice steady.
Ryan's expression soured. "Grace, don't be so stubborn.
"How many times do I have to say it? Olivia's just a spoiled princess. Can't you just let her have her way for once?
"Can't you think about me for a change? It's hell being stuck between you two."
He actually asked me to think about him.
All the little moments from the past month flashed through my mind like a movie reel.
In the cafeteria, I saved him a seat, but he just walked right past me and sat with Olivia somewhere else.
"It's too crowded here. Olivia doesn't like it," he said.
We promised to study together at the library, but I waited until closing time while he was out shopping with Olivia.
"She's in a bad mood, so I'm keeping her company," he said.
We were supposed to celebrate my twentieth birthday together, but he totally forgot because Olivia wanted to go to the amusement park.
"I'll make it up to you next time," he said.
But there never was a next time.
I'd always put him first, always tried to understand him.
But what about me?
He had never thought about me, not even for a second.
"Ryan, I'm tired," I whispered.
I lay down and pulled the blanket over my head.
I didn't want to see him, didn't want to hear his voice ever again.
Ryan looked like he wanted to say something, but my roommates closed in around me.
"You seriously have the nerve to show your face here?" Mia snapped first.
"Get out! Grace doesn't want to see you."
"Piece of trash!"
"Jerk!"
Ryan's face turned dark, humiliated and pissed. "What business is it of yours?"
"What business? You mess with our roommate, you mess with all of us," Mia shot back, rolling up her sleeves.
"I'm telling you, get out right now or we'll call the cops and report you for sexual harassment."
Ryan stormed out, fuming.
Before leaving, he spat, "Grace, don't regret this."
The door slammed shut.
Under the blanket, I couldn't stop the tears from falling, not for Ryan, but for the girl who got her dignity ripped away in front of everyone.
It was three in the morning. I sat on my bed, laptop open in front of me.
The dorm was so quiet, just the soft clacking of my fingers on the keyboard.
Withdrawal form was right there on the screen.
I typed it out, slow and steady, one word at a time.
Name: Grace Evans. Student ID: 2023****. Reason for withdrawal: Personal reasons.
That was all it took. Just a few words, and everything changed.
Mia stirred awake. "Grace, what are you doing?"
She rubbed her eyes, but the second she saw my screen, she shot up, wide-eyed. "Withdrawal form? You're really dropping out?"
"What?" she gasped, nearly tumbling off her bed.
The commotion woke the rest of the roommates.
One after another, bedside lamps flicked on, lighting up the room.
"Grace, don't do anything crazy."
"Dropping out over this? It's not worth it."
"Let's go talk to the principal. Make them apologize."
"Yeah, we'll back you up and fight for you."
I shook my head. "I'm not acting on impulse. I've thought it through."
I closed the laptop and looked at their worried faces. "You know, just now under the covers, I was thinking about everything.
"When your dignity gets stomped on, you only have two choices.
"You can stay, and watch the people who humiliated you parade around like nothing happened.
"Or you can leave, go somewhere new, and start over where nobody knows you.
"I'm picking the second option."
They all went quiet.
They understood. If I stayed, I'd have to deal with those stares and whispers every single day.
But the worst part? Watching Ryan and Olivia act all sweet right in front of me.
Honestly, that was worse than anything else.
Mia's eyes were red. "But you're such a genius, you got a full scholarship.
"We're just freshmen. We've got three more years ahead.
"Are you really okay with just giving up like this?"
I gave a little smile, trying to sound brave. "It's fine. I can always take the exams again.
"If I lose the money, I can earn it back. If I lose the scholarship, I can fight for it again.
"But if I lose my dignity, that's gone forever."
I got up and walked over to the window.
Outside, the night was deep. Streetlights cast long, yellow shadows from the trees.
"Honestly, I should've left a long time ago," I muttered, staring out the window.
This city, every street, and every corner were all memories of me and Ryan.
Everywhere I looked, it was us.
From kindergarten to high school, we were always together, in the same neighborhood, same school, same class.
I felt like a bird trapped in a cage made of memories.
Now, the door was finally open.
It happened in the worst way, but at least now I'm free.