Chapter 1

At the freshman welcome gala, my childhood sweetheart teamed up with the campus queen and pulled down my pants in front of over two thousand students and faculty.

Trembling from head to toe, I asked him why.

He looked away with a casual laugh. "Oh, it was Olivia's idea. She said it would liven things up.

"Come on, don't be mad. It was just a joke."

Olivia was the campus beauty who latched onto him the moment school started.

I stood under the spotlight, feeling two thousand pairs of eyes on me, and silently pulled my pants back up, zipping my jacket all the way to the top.

So my dignity was something that could be used to "liven things up."

The very next day, I filed for withdrawal and vanished from his world.

He freaked out.

"Are you insane? You're dropping out over a joke?" he demanded.

"Yes," I said.

*****

The spotlight at the welcome party was blinding.

I stood in the center of the stage, about to give the freshman speech.

The speech in my hand was already soaked with sweat. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

More than two thousand students and teachers were waiting in the audience.

I spotted Ryan Carter in the third row, giving me a thumbs-up.

At that moment, most of my nerves melted away.

For fifteen years, whenever I got nervous, he'd always be there to cheer me on.

Suddenly, Olivia Bennett's tinkling laughter rang out from behind me. "Ryan, hurry up."

There was an indescribable excitement in her voice, like a cat about to toy with a mouse.

Before I could react, a chill ran down my waist.

Ryan's hand had already grabbed my sweatpants.

Those hands, which had held mine through countless seasons, were now the start of my nightmare.

With a sudden yank, my pants slid down to my ankles.

Time seemed to freeze in that instant.

The whole place went dead silent for a second, then erupted into a tsunami of laughter.

Flashbulbs went off like crazy, and every phone in the room was pointed right at me.

There I was, standing in front of over two thousand people, wearing nothing but my beige underwear.

My mind went completely blank.

Blood rushed to my head, my ears were ringing, and I couldn't even hear the noise around me anymore.

All I could see were countless mouths laughing, like black holes trying to swallow me whole.

Olivia was doubled over with laughter. "This is hilarious! Serves her right for always acting so high and mighty."

Her voice finally broke through the ringing in my ears, every word stabbing into my heart like a needle.

I bent down and mechanically pulled up my pants, my fingers shaking uncontrollably.

The waistband suddenly felt impossibly tight; I tried three times before I managed to pull them up.

Ryan was still laughing, like it was all just a joke to him.

It was as if the person who'd just been humiliated in front of everyone wasn't the girl he'd known for fifteen years, but some random stranger who didn't matter at all.

I zipped up my jacket, wrapping myself up as tightly as I could.

The jacket was long enough to cover my thighs, but it still didn't feel like enough.

I wished I could hide myself completely.

I walked off the stage, step by step.

Every step felt like I was walking on the razor's edge.

The stares from the audience were like a thousand knives, slowly slicing away at what little dignity I had left.

On my way back to the dorm, I walked as slow as possible.

Every few steps, I had to stop because my legs were shaking so much.

People passed by, whispering and snickering, and every now and then, someone would burst out laughing.

I knew exactly what they were talking about.

When I finally got to the dorm building, I just sat there by the flower bed, not moving for ages.

The night wind was freezing, stinging my face. But I didn't want to go upstairs, didn't want to see anyone.

My phone was buzzing nonstop in my pocket, but I just couldn't bring myself to check it.

It wasn't until Mia Parker, my roommate, came downstairs to find me.

"Grace," Mia called, running over with red eyes. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, then nodded, not even sure what I was trying to say.

She walked me upstairs, cursing out Ryan and Olivia the whole way.

Her cursing was pretty brutal, but honestly, it felt kind of comforting.

When we got back to the dorm, the other roommates crowded around me.

"Grace, are you okay?"

"That was way out of line. How could they do that?"

"I already reported it on the school forum."

I shook my head and sat down on my bed.

I shoved my hands under my thighs, still trembling.

My phone kept buzzing like crazy.

Mia grabbed it for me and took a look. "Oh my god, you're trending."

The video was everywhere on the school forum, in the chat groups, all over the place.

The headlines were savage: [Welcome Party: The Ultimate Social Death Moment], [Campus Queen Pranks the Top Student], [The Most Miserable Freshman Rep Ever].

The comments were even worse.

[Haha, that face is legendary!]

[Beige underwear? Not bad taste, I guess.]

[Is this what they call social death?]

[Saved the video. This is gonna be my go-to for laughs for life.]

I turned off my phone and leaned back against the headboard.

Tears finally broke free, streaming down my face in silence.

It wasn't because I felt wronged, but because I was furious.

I was so angry I could barely breathe, but there was nowhere to let it out.

Ten minutes later, Ryan walked in.

He barged right through the door, still riding the high from the party, totally unbothered. "Grace, don't be mad. Olivia's just messing around, you know how she is.

"She said you're always so uptight, thought you needed to loosen up."

He plopped down on my bed, the smell of alcohol strong. "Was just celebrating with the student council, had a few drinks.

"Seriously, stop sulking. By tomorrow, nobody's gonna remember."

I looked up at him.

I'd seen his face for fifteen years, from when I was five, all the way to twenty.

Those eyes used to give me strength whenever I was scared.

Those hands used to pick me up when I fell.

That hug used to be my safe place when I cried.

But right now, he felt like a stranger to me.

"Ryan, you really think this was just a joke?" I asked.

My voice was so faint, I could barely hear myself.

"What else? It's just a little embarrassment," he said, frowning like it was obvious. "Who told you to wear sweatpants? They come off so easy."

He even laughed a little as he said it.

He added, "Anyway, Olivia said she didn't mean it. Nobody thought it'd turn out like that.

"She just wanted to scare you a bit, didn't expect your pants to actually come down."

I laughed so hard that I almost cried.

So to him, making me a joke in front of two thousand people was just "a little embarrassment."

It turned out that my dignity meant less than Olivia's "I didn't mean it."

"Ryan," I stared at him, word by word, "if it was you up there tonight, your pants pulled down, would you still call it a joke?"

His face stiffened for a second, then he brushed it off. "That's different."

"Different how?" I pressed.

"I'm a guy, you're a girl. Of course it's different," he said, getting impatient. "And it's not like you showed anything. Just your underwear."

Those three words stabbed right through me, like knives to the heart.