Chapter 3

When I woke up the next morning, Nicholas was gone.

I checked my phone and found a message from him.

He told me to remember to take my temperature when I woke up, and to take some medicine if I wasn't feeling well.

I glanced at the nightstand and saw a box of cold medicine and some ibuprofen that Nicholas must have found somewhere.

It was so thoughtful that it made my eyes sting. It felt like I was still that young girl who always needed him to take care of me.

My heart suddenly went soft, and in my half-awake state, a fragile, delusional hope crept in.

Maybe he had his own struggles. Maybe there was some misunderstanding between us. Maybe he hadn't really betrayed me. Maybe, just maybe, we still had a chance to get back together.

I picked up my phone, wondering if I should tell Nicholas about the pregnancy.

Maybe this was a chance—for him, for myself, and for the ten years of love between us.

But life was unpredictable like that. It gave me a beautiful dream, only to crush it later—making me see its true, ugly face right when I was happiest.

Just like now. As I opened WhatsApp, ready to tell Nicholas about my pregnancy, a friend request suddenly popped up.

The note said Cynthia. I didn't know why, but I accepted it.

Then, she sent me a long video.

In the video, my husband was holding a woman who looked a lot like me, treating her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

He said, "Why are you mad? I really had something to take care of last night, but look, I'm here with you now.

"She only gets to see me a few times a month. But if you want, we could be together all the time.

"Babe, you know I only love you."

The woman said in a sweet, whiny voice, "But I'm still mad. Just thinking about you spending the whole night with that hag shakes me up. You really need to make it up to me."

Nicholas said, "Alright, let me make it up to you. You're young and gorgeous, way more fun than that dull woman. Honestly, you're all I see, all I think about. Are you happy now?"

The woman giggled. "Aren't you afraid your wife will find out what you said about her and kick up a fuss? Maybe even file for divorce?"

Nicholas let out a short laugh, sounding sure of himself. "No way. She can't live without me.

"She's an orphan. I'm the only family she's got in this world. She can't leave me."

The woman laughed and teased, "You're so mean."

Then, the two of them held each other close.

So, Nicholas, was this really the reason you betrayed me?

Because I was not as young and lively as her anymore? Because I'd become dull and boring?

Because you were so sure I couldn't leave you, you think you could just hurt me however you want?

You were so shameless.

I had no idea how long I'd been staring at that video, lost in a daze, until Cynthia's second message snapped me back to reality.

Cynthia: [Just get a divorce, old hag. He doesn't love you anymore. If you've got any self-respect left, just let him go.]

Yeah. He really didn't love me anymore.

And I didn't want him anymore, either.

"Nicholas, no one's gonna die without someone else in their life."

*****

I found myself at the hospital again.

The last time, I was here to welcome a new life into this world.

This time, I was here to end it.

I couldn't let my child be born into a loveless family.

Because I was the product of a failed marriage myself.

Before I got to the hospital, Nicholas called me.

He sounded like he genuinely wanted to patch things up, kept fussing over my health and wouldn't stop talking about how worried he was.

Thinking about that video on my phone, I couldn't help but give a bitter smile.

He really was a great actor.

If I hadn't seen with my own eyes how he looked at another woman, if I hadn't heard the same mouth that had kissed me a thousand times whispering sweet nothings to someone else, I might have actually fallen for his act.

Finally, he asked me cautiously, "Kara, what was the reason you called me that day?"

I heard myself reply, "Nothing important."

It was a shame that Nicholas would never know the real reason I called him that day.

I walked into the hospital alone and headed straight for the OB-GYN ward.

The doctor looked at me and asked, "Have you made up your mind? You really want the abortion?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"We can do the procedure today, but we need a family member's signature for the consent form. Is anyone here with you?" she asked.

My face went pale as I managed a weak smile. "I don't have any family. I can sign it myself."

She kindly suggested, "The procedure requires anesthesia. Maybe you should have someone here with you."

When I heard that, my smile became even more forced.

Because Nicholas was right.

I had no family. I was just an orphan, all alone in this world.