Chapter 1
On our seventh try at discussing our wedding date, my boyfriend, Ryan Whitman, finally said yes.
That night, he got so drunk that he completely blacked out.
While I was helping him back to his room, I accidentally caught a heartfelt message he'd sent to a friend.
It said: [Sometimes I just want to get married—to punish her for giving up on our relationship back then.]
That "her"... was his first love, Emily Lane.
As I stared at the phone screen fading to black, all of a sudden, everything felt utterly meaningless.
*****
From the moment Ryan got his mother Gloria Whitman's call and was asked to come home, his mood soured right away.
I knew he was upset about having to leave the gathering, but I couldn't stop Gloria from calling him back.
"Why didn't you take Carrie along to hang out with your friends? How could you just leave her home all by herself?" Gloria scolded.
I mumbled an explanation for Ryan, almost not daring to look up, hoping Gloria wouldn't get angrier.
"Those are Ryan's childhood friends. I barely know any of them, so honestly, it would've just been super awkward for me to go..." I said.
Gloria cut me off, her frustration clear as day.
She said, "Don't make excuses for him, Carrie. You're going to spend the rest of your life with Ryan. How could he put anyone else before you?"
Ryan hadn't said a single word since he got back.
But when he heard that, he just snorted out a laugh, like he couldn't care less.
"So after all this talk, it always comes back to marriage, huh?" Ryan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
He gave me a lazy once-over, not bothering to hide what he was really thinking.
He didn't need to say anything. His message came through loud and clear.
He was clearly suspecting I had called Gloria over.
Just as I was about to explain, Gloria stepped right in front of me.
"Yeah, Ryan, do you even want to marry Carrie or not?" she demanded.
She went on, "I've tried to set up meetings with Carrie's parents six times now, and every single time you've made up all kinds of excuses to skip out. Today, you're going to give me an answer, right here, right now."
The living room fell into utter silence.
I looked at Ryan.
He was leaning back on the couch, the light outlining his features—so vivid, yet he seemed miles away.
We'd been together for six years.
Honestly, getting married should've just felt like the next step.
But Ryan wasn't having any of it—he actually seemed to hate the thought of marrying me.
I never pressured him. Whenever my parents asked, I always covered for him, playing it off like I was the one who wasn't ready to get married yet.
I thought if I waited long enough, he'd say yes wholeheartedly, without hesitation.
But all I got in the end was a long, impatient sigh from him.
"Fine, let's get married," Ryan muttered, sounding utterly resigned.
"Pick any date you want. I'll just go along," he added with a tired sigh.
Then he got up and headed upstairs, his movements quick and decisive.
It was like he'd finally gotten rid of a nagging problem.
Gloria didn't say a word. She just gave my shoulder a comforting pat.
"That's just how he is. Once you two are married, he'll settle down," she said, trying to reassure me.
I watched Ryan disappear upstairs, feeling utterly lost and helpless.
Would he really settle down after we get married? I couldn't help but doubt.
I honestly couldn't be sure.