Chapter 2
He was always swamped with classes, busy with experiments, or just said he couldn't make time.
But he always had time to help Annie shoot the promo video for the school anniversary, or pull an all-nighter just to get her concert tickets.
I couldn't hold back my feelings and just came right out and told him it made me uncomfortable.
Ryan just smiled and gave my hand a little squeeze.
"Annie's your best friend. I'm only taking care of her because of you," he said.
"You're not seriously jealous of your own best friend, are you?" he teased.
Because he said I shouldn't be petty, I spent four years pretending not to care.
But now, I just couldn't keep up the act anymore.
My stomach twisted with pain, and I pushed open the dorm door, my face pale.
My roommate Mia pointed at the warm soup on the table, grinning. "Your boyfriend ordered this for you. That's so thoughtful."
Just then, Ryan called.
"You barely ate today. Your stomach must be hurting again, right?" he said.
The warmth from the cup seeped into my hand, and the resolve I'd finally mustered started to waver.
Ryan had taken up way too much space in my life.
Maybe I should let him explain things.
Before I could say anything, he cut in, "Finish your drink, then go say sorry to Annie.
"She felt so guilty she started crying. I had to comfort her for ages."
The warm soup slipped from my hand, spilling all over my legs and burning me.
Mia let out a scream.
My phone dropped to the floor.
"Hello? Emily? Emily?" Ryan's voice came through the phone, sounding panicked and worried.
When I was little, I wasn't exactly the brightest kid.
But thanks to Ryan tutoring me, I barely managed to get into the best high school in town.
Ryan grabbed my hand, grinning, and showed me off to everyone around. "See? I told you Emily's not dumb at all!"
Once we hit high school, Ryan suddenly had a serious competitor, Annie.
They weren't just fighting for the top spot in the class; they'd even argue over who got to hang out with me.
One day, Ryan was helping me with my homework. When he saw my test paper full of red Xs, he blurted out, "Emily, why can't you pick things up as quickly as Annie? You're just so dumb."
Yeah, I really was that dumb.
Even when Ryan's heart had already changed, I was still too clueless to notice.
*****
I slowly opened my eyes, and everything was just white.
Annie was sitting by my bed, her eyes red and puffy. She clung to my arm, crying out loud.
"Emily, let's not fight anymore, okay?
"I really don't want to see you in the hospital again."
Ryan walked in from the hallway, and when he saw I was awake, his tense expression finally softened.
"Emily, is hurting yourself really your way of blowing off steam?" Ryan said.
"You're an adult now. Can't you at least think things through before you do something like this?"
He realized he'd crossed the line and awkwardly cleared his throat.
Noticing my hair was a mess, he instinctively reached out to fix it.
I turned my head away, avoiding his hand.
His long fingers froze in midair.
Then, he rubbed his forehead, looking helpless.
"Even when you're sick, you still make a fuss. Why can't you be more like Annie?" he said.
I didn't want to be compared to Annie anymore, so I cut him off. "Ryan, let's break up."
The atmosphere froze.
Annie's expression grew serious as she edged closer to me.
"Don't say that, Emily. If you're still mad about yesterday, I'll get Ryan to apologize," she said.
Ryan could be stubborn, but when Annie tugged at his arm, he just followed her over.
"Emily's not feeling well right now. Just give her a break," Annie said.
Ryan's surprise quickly turned into impatience.
"Why am I always the one who has to back down? She's gotten way too used to us always giving in," he said.
"If she wants to break up, let her have what she wants. Just don't come running back to me, begging for another chance," he added.
Ryan didn't know yet.
Once I make up my mind to walk away, I never look back, not even for a second.
Annie was pulled away by Ryan, leaving the hospital room empty.
But my phone was blowing up with notifications.
It was our high school teacher, congratulating Ryan and Annie in the group chat for landing jobs at one of the top R&D companies in the country.
Even the quiet classmates came out of hiding to join the conversation.