Chapter 1
So I wouldn't get messed around by guys, my mom handed me two hardcore breakup rules.
Rule one: if it turned into a long-distance thing, break up, no questions asked.
Rule two: if some other girl suddenly popped up around my boyfriend, that was a red flag, and I was out.
I looked at my boyfriend Ryan Parker and bestie Annie Hughes, both of whom had just landed offers from big companies in Bexford.
Suddenly, I blurted out, "Are you guys going to take me to Bexford with you?
The two of them, who had been chatting away, suddenly went quiet.
Annie looked really conflicted. "Emily, living in Bexford is expensive. With your degree, it's going to be tough to land a decent job."
Ryan, who had just finished picking the fish bones out of Annie's plate, said lazily. "Annie's right. You should just head back home and take whatever dead-end job you can get," he said.
Before I could even respond, they went right back to chatting about aerospace engineering, stuff that was way over my head.
Thinking back to those two rules, it finally hit me.
I was already just the outsider in their little world, the one they'd left behind in this so-called trio.
*****
Ryan didn't even notice how down I was; he was too busy talking with Annie about their future together.
"Once we get to Bexford, we can rent a two-bedroom place."
"And then, we'll finally get you that golden retriever you've always wanted."
"When we get promoted in two years, we'll go see that racing event you're always talking about."
My hand was gripping the fork so hard my knuckles turned white. I finally blurted out.
"What about me? Ryan, I'm not even in your future plans," I said.
He paused, then smiled and placed the last piece of fish in my plate.
"Life in Bexford is too fast-paced. You're better off staying back home," he said.
He couldn't stand the thought of Annie struggling, but he had no problem leaving me to waste my life away in this tiny town.
Right then, Annie and Ryan were practically glued together, laughing and joking like the rest of the world didn't exist.
The waiter came over with two plates of spaghetti, breaking up their little world.
"Hey, couples get two free plates of spaghetti today," the waiter said.
He placed the plates right in front of Annie and Ryan.
Annie gave me an awkward glance, her face flushed as she slid one of the plates over to me.
"You got it wrong. They're the couple," Annie said.
The waiter hurried over to apologize to me.
Honestly, I couldn't blame her for mixing us up.
To anyone watching, they looked like the perfect couple.
Whenever I went out with them, there were always whispers behind our backs. "Damn, those two are seriously good-looking."
And me? I just felt even more invisible standing next to them.
Ryan slid a plate of spaghetti over to me, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I picked out all the cilantro for you. Go ahead and eat," he said.
I knew I shouldn't keep craving his warmth.
But habits weren't something one could just break in a second.
I murmured, "thanks."
When I looked up, I saw Ryan and Annie sharing a plate.
My tears slipped quietly into my plate.
Through my teary eyes, Ryan looked up, his gaze calm and unreadable.
"You're so picky, you never want to share a plate with anyone. I can't just let Annie eat after you, can I?" Ryan said.
Annie fumbled for a tissue, trying to wipe away my tears.
"Emily, please don't cry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have eaten from this plate," she said.
Ryan pulled Annie behind him, steadying her, then shot me a mildly reproachful look.
"Emily, wipe your tears," he said.
"Once you're out in the real world, no one's going to deal with your moods like the two of us do."
I couldn't take it anymore. I messily wiped away my tears and walked out.
The scenery outside the car window blurred past.
My phone buzzed, but it wasn't Ryan apologizing.
Instead, it was a message from a Bexford company on my job app.
[Hi, we're interested in your resume. Would you be available to chat?]
Tears splashed onto the screen as I slowly typed back.
[Thanks, but I've given up on going to Bexford.]
Even by taxi, it took an hour and a half to get from Ryan's school to mine.
I made that trip over a hundred times in four years.
But Ryan never came to my school, not even once.
He always had some excuse.