Chapter 1
The day I won the Violin Laureate, a video from five years ago was dug up and spread online.
In the video, I was on my knees in the pouring rain next to a man soaked in blood, lying on the ground.
I was screaming for help. My face twisted in terror and despair.
That night, James Carter, who hadn't reached out to me in five years since we broke up, gave me a call.
James sounded stunned and lost. "Did you ever care about me? Why did I never know?"
*****
When I discovered that the video from five years ago had been exposed online, I had wrapped up the celebration party and was standing on the curb, waiting to hail a cab home.
In our conservatory group chat, someone had forwarded the viral video that was spreading all over the internet.
Several people had tagged me. [Is that really you, Emily? Or is this some gossip?]
[Emily's always been so aloof. The person in the video kind of looks like her, but it definitely can't be her.]
[Am I the only one wondering who that guy lying on the ground is?]
The chat was buzzing with speculation.
When I didn't reply, the conversation gradually shifted back to congratulating me on winning the World Violin Laureate.
I replied with a simple [Thanks] and didn't respond to any of the questions about the video.
The streetlights flickered to life, casting a cool, quiet glow over the night. I opened the video and stared at that version of myself: torn apart, screaming, completely broken.
I felt like I was watching a stranger, as if it all happened in another lifetime.
Then, my phone lit up with an incoming call from a long string of numbers.
I usually didn't pick up calls from strangers, so I was about to hang up.
But my mind was still reeling from that video, and I guess I wasn't paying attention. My finger slipped, and before I knew it, I'd answered the call.
On the other end, I heard James's voice. He hadn't called me in five years, and his tone was clearly shaken. "Is that really you in the video?"
His familiar voice was cool, but the urgency was impossible to miss, catching me completely off guard. It felt like an invisible hand suddenly and forcefully squeezed my heart.
My breath hitched, like someone had uncovered my darkest secret.
My fingers fumbled in panic, and I nearly hung up on James.
His voice was shaky, almost breaking. "Did you ever care about me? Why did I never know?"
My finger hovered over the end call button, but in that moment, I hesitated.
Cars surged through the evening streets, the city buzzing with life. My throat felt parched, and I stood there on the curb, unable to move.
After a long, heavy silence, I said softly, "It doesn't matter anymore."
James scoffed, his laugh tinged with anger. "Doesn't matter? Yeah, for someone like you, what else could matter besides yourself?"
James's words stabbed right through me, and for a moment, my mind went completely blank until a sharp car horn blared right next to me.
I found myself standing in the middle of the crosswalk. The green light across the street had already switched to red.
A car screeched to a halt right beside me. The driver rolled down the window, his face twisted in anger as he yelled something at me.
I didn't catch what he said.
Maybe it was the fading light, or maybe it was something else. My eyes stung, and my vision blurred.
When everything finally felt normal again, I crossed the street. The line had already gone dead.
That familiar, long-lost voice was gone. It felt like it had all been a dream.