Chapter 3

At nine thirty that evening, Daniel carried our daughter into the bedroom.

I thought he was taking over so I could finally get some sleep.

Instead, he laid her down beside me.

"I think she's hungry."

"Can you burp her after I feed her?"

"Sure."

I sat up and tucked a pillow behind my lower back.

He lay on the other side of the bed scrolling through his phone, but by the time our daughter unlatched, his eyes were closed.

I called his name twice.

"Put her in her bassinet." He rolled over. "Isn't she asleep?"

Our daughter started squirming against my arm.

I had to hold her upright until she settled, then slowly get up and put her back in the bassinet.

Kate passed by in the hallway and asked if we needed anything.

"Could you settle her for a while after the next feed?"

She rested a hand on the doorframe and glanced at Daniel in bed.

"I need to get some sleep. Someone has to watch her while you catch up during the day."

"What about at night?"

"That's just how newborns are. It'll get better when she's a little older."

She gently closed the door.

Our daughter woke again after midnight.

I woke Daniel first and asked him to change her diaper.

He felt around for his phone, checked the time, and slowly sat up.

Halfway through the change, he asked where the wipes were, then which drawer held the clean pajamas.

I told him where everything was, and by the time he handed her back, he'd already yawned several times.

"I have a meeting at eight tomorrow."

"I know. I just needed you to change her diaper."

"And I did, didn't I?"

He pulled up the covers and lay down with his back to me.

Sometime after two, I finished feeding our daughter, and she spit up all over her pajamas and the front of my top.

I reached for a burp cloth, but the only ones left in the basket were dirty.

I called his name again.

"Could you hold her for a minute? I need to change."

He didn't open his eyes.

"Ask Kate."

I carried the baby to the guest room. There was no light under the door. I knocked twice before I finally heard movement inside.

Kate opened the door a crack.

"What is it?"

I explained, and she took the baby, telling me to be quick.

When I came back after changing, she was already waiting in the hallway.

"Is Daniel asleep?"

I nodded.

"Then let him sleep. He has to work during the day."

I took my daughter back and walked slowly around the bedroom with her in my arms. Daniel didn't wake.

Around five, she finally fell into a deep sleep. I rinsed the milk stains out of the clothes, put the used burp cloths in the washing machine, and restocked the basket.

By the time I got back into bed, light was seeping around the edges of the curtains.

I'd barely closed my eyes when our daughter started crying again.

At six thirty, just as I finished feeding her, Kate opened the door and came in.

She was dressed, her hair neatly brushed.

"Give her to me. Get some sleep."

Too exhausted to say anything else, I handed her the baby and lay down.

Daniel's alarm went off soon afterward.

He got up and left the room, and I heard him stop in the hallway.

"You're up early."

"The baby woke up early."

"Thanks for doing this."

I opened my eyes. The wet pajamas I'd changed out of during the night were still draped over the back of the chair.

Daniel came back for his watch and told me quietly that Kate had gotten our daughter to sleep.

"Get some more rest. She's been holding her all morning."

"I only just handed her over."

He fastened his watch.

"Emma, she's helping too. There's no need to keep score."

Before he left, he switched off his wake-up alarm so it wouldn't disturb me.

My next feeding reminder was forty minutes away.