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After my husband's car accident, I cared for him for two years and eight months. I chose the photos for his recovery dinner. I picked up his suit. Twenty-four people were on the guest list. I wasn't one of them. "If you're sitting there, all anyone will think is that I owe you," he said. Yet at the dinner, he stood up and thanked another woman: "Thank you for always treating me like the person I was before, instead of a patient who needed looking after." Then he called me: "Get the living room cleaned up. I'm bringing people back later." He wouldn't let me celebrate with him, but he was certain I'd be home waiting.