Chapter 1
One month before my wedding, my fiancé, Lucas Bennett, suddenly wanted to have a baby with his first love, Summer James.
When I said no, he brought it up every single day.
Then, two weeks before the wedding, I got a pregnancy test result.
That was when I found out Summer had been pregnant for almost a month.
He'd never planned on getting my permission at all.
In that moment, years of love immediately evaporated.
So I canceled the wedding and threw away every memory of them. And on the wedding day itself, I walked into a locked-down research lab.
After that, we were done.
*****
"I've explained this to you so many times. Summer has cancer. She's only got one year left. Her biggest wish is to leave behind a child. She saved my life back then, and now I have to help her fulfill this wish."
I'd heard this exact speech at least a thousand times in the past month.
The first time Lucas brought it up, I said no without hesitation.
But he wouldn't drop it. He brought it up almost every single day.
His attitude had shifted from tentatively asking for my agreement to arguing with me like he was completely in the right.
It was like saying no made me some kind of monster.
But seriously, there were so many ways to repay a life debt. Why did it have to be by having a baby?
A month of fighting had worn me out completely. I didn't have the energy to try talking him out of it anymore.
I looked at the man I'd loved for five years and asked, my voice shaking, "Lucas, our wedding is next month. You want to have a baby with another woman. What about me? What am I to you?"
It was the first time Lucas had seen me so low, as if I was wrapped in a cloud of gloom.
His attitude softened a little.
"Natalie, I know this is hard to accept. But I'm the only one who can help Summer. I can't just watch her leave with regrets," he said. "And besides, it's just artificial insemination. Nothing physical happens between us."
"You love me. You understand that, right?" he insisted.
Hearing that, my heart kept sinking.
I finally got it. Lucas had already made up his mind. He was going to have a baby with Summer no matter what.
My opinion didn't matter.
Lucas opened his mouth to say more, but his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and walked out to the balcony.
I watched his back and smiled bitterly.
Lucas and I had grown up together. Same class since elementary school. Same university. I'd known I liked him since I was little. I stayed by his side quietly all those years, but he never really noticed me.
Not until graduation did he finally see how much I'd sacrificed and agree to be my boyfriend.
One would think that after knowing each other for over twenty years, becoming lovers would make us the closest, most trusting people in each other's lives.
But in five years together, I'd never once touched Lucas's phone. He even took calls with his back turned to me.
I remember one time he had a high fever and was resting in bed, but his phone kept buzzing with messages.
I was worried the noise would bother him, so I tried to turn it on silent.
The second my fingers touched the screen, his eyes flew open. He saw what I was doing and went off on me, not even asking what I was actually trying to do.
No matter how much I explained, he wouldn't listen.
That night, I curled up on the couch alone.
I told myself that was how he was, and that one day, I'd finally earn my way into his heart.
But five years passed. Nothing changed.
And now he wanted to have a baby with another woman, without caring at all about how his actual girlfriend felt.
Lucas came back inside, his face clearly happy about something. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
"Something came up. I have to go out. Think it over some more, okay?" he said.
I listened to his hurried footsteps and said nothing.
The only person who could make him rush like that was Summer.
Sure enough, not long after, Summer sent me a photo.
When I zoomed in and saw what it was, I almost couldn't stand up straight.