Chapter 1
My husband ripped the only rescue inhaler out of my hand and put it in his sister's mouth.
Minutes earlier, the wildfire had crossed the ridge behind the hotel.
Alarms screamed across the parking lot while staff waved light sticks and ordered everyone to abandon their luggage and move toward the south evacuation point.
Ash whipped through the air, and hot smoke rolled down from the pines in thick waves.
I had made it halfway across the lot when my chest began to tighten.
I stopped with one hand against a parked car.
"Caleb."
He was pulling Megan forward and did not hear me.
I called again, but this time my voice came out shorter.
Caleb turned.
The moment he saw me bent over, his expression changed.
"Audrey, where's your inhaler?"
I nodded and reached into my coat.
He knew smoke triggered my asthma.
After sixteen years of marriage, he knew exactly what the blue rescue inhaler meant.
My fingers had barely closed around it when Megan grabbed his jacket.
"I can't breathe."
Her face was pale, tears already running down her cheeks, her breaths coming so fast she could barely connect one sentence to the next.
"Caleb, I can't. I really can't."
"Look at me."
He caught her shoulders.
"Slow down."
"I can't!"
I pulled out my inhaler, my thumb already on the canister, but another hard contraction closed around my chest.
Then Caleb reached for it.
"Give me that."
I held on.
"I need it."
"Give it to me first."
"Caleb..."
He pulled it out of my hand.
I stared as he crouched in front of Megan and pressed it toward her mouth.
"Breathe in. Megan, listen to me."
She took two puffs.
"That's enough."
I reached for it.
"Give it back."
Caleb blocked my hand.
"Wait."
"I can't wait."
Even I could hear the wheeze in my voice.
Megan did not have asthma.
I knew panic could make someone feel as though they were suffocating, and I could see that she was genuinely terrified, but the familiar tightening inside my lungs was getting worse by the second.
I reached again.
Caleb stood abruptly.
"Audrey, stop."
His patience was gone now.
"She doesn't even know how to control her breathing. You do."
My heart began pounding harder.
"I know what to do. That's why I need my medication."
"You're still talking."
"That doesn't mean I'm okay!"
The effort of raising my voice cost me.
My lungs tightened so sharply that I had to open my mouth just to pull in air.
For one second, Caleb hesitated.
Then someone shouted from the evacuation lane.
"Last van! One seat!"
Megan turned and began shaking again.
"I can't stay here."
Caleb caught her arm.
"You go."
My head snapped up.
"What?"
He was already moving her toward the van.
I followed two steps before pain locked around my chest.
"Caleb, give me the inhaler!"
He looked back through the smoke.
"Audrey, another rescue vehicle is coming."
"Leave my medication!"
Megan glanced down and started to hand it back.
Caleb closed his hand over hers.
"Keep it."
I stared at him.
"She doesn't have asthma."
"She couldn't breathe!"
His voice rose.
"I'm not sending her down alone and hoping it doesn't happen again."
"So you're hoping I make it?"
He froze.
Only for a moment.
Staff were shouting for the van to leave.
Caleb looked at me, then at Megan.
"Audrey, you know your condition. You can hold on a few minutes."
He pushed Megan into the van.
As the door closed, I stumbled forward and hit the glass with my palm.
"Caleb!"
It was not anger anymore.
I was scared.
My fingers were tingling, every breath stopping too high in my chest, and I could see Megan through the window with my blue inhaler still in her hand.
The van pulled away.
I tried to follow and my legs buckled.
Caleb caught me around the waist.
"Don't run!"
"Get it back."
"Audrey, don't panic."
"I don't have my medication."
"Rescue is coming."
"I don't have my medication!"
The last words barely carried sound.
I gripped his sleeve because, for the first time, I was genuinely afraid I might not have a few more minutes.
His phone rang.
Megan.
He answered immediately.
I heard him ask if she was having trouble breathing again, then which hospital the driver was taking her to.
I tried to call his name.
Nothing came out.
I grabbed his arm.
He lifted one hand, telling me to wait.
I let go.
Seconds later, a firefighter emerged through the smoke and caught my shoulder.
"Ma'am, asthma?"
I nodded.
He asked where my rescue inhaler was.
Caleb finally ended the call.
"Her medication..."
His voice stopped.
The firefighter looked at him.
I could not explain anymore.
I lifted one numb hand and pointed toward the road where the van had disappeared.
After that, I remember only pieces.
An oxygen mask.
Someone telling me not to speak.
A stretcher beneath my back.
I was still shaking when the hospital ceiling finally came into focus.
A nurse reviewed my medication history and asked if I normally carried a rescue inhaler.
I nodded.
"What about today?"
My throat felt scraped raw.
"It was in my hand."
Her pen stopped.
I turned toward the empty chair beside the bed.
"My husband took it."
She frowned.
"Why?"
I closed my eyes for a second.
"He gave it to his sister."