Chapter 2
I had ordered the coffin for myself two months back.
All the doctor's visits and prescriptions were draining my bank account dry.
My card must've run low, because the charge ended up hitting the joint account Sebastian and I still shared.
My medical bills had taken almost everything I had, so there was no way I could afford a coffin that expensive anymore.
So, I called the funeral home to explain and asked for a refund.
The owner was a complete jerk about it.
"Listen, lady," he said, "you put a deposit down two months ago. The final payment just cleared. The coffin is done. And now you want to cancel?
"This is a custom job. Who the hell am I supposed to sell a coffin to that has 'If there's a second chance, I will marry Sebastian Gray' carved into the lid?"
He was so nasty about it that I could feel the tears starting to burn in my eyes again.
I hung up the phone.
When I got home, I sold every last designer bag Sebastian had even given me until I had enough money to pay him back.
I shot the money over to him on Venmo, but a minute later, my phone buzzed because he had sent it right back.
The notification stared back at me, showing a transfer of 12,120 dollars.
His note was attached: [We're done. Don't send me symbolic amounts of money like we're still together. Evelyn will get the wrong idea. Give me cash.]
I chose the 12,120-dollar coffin because that number echoed our old anniversary, December 12th.
Now, he was using that detail as an excuse to refuse the money.
I knew it wasn't really about the cash, though.
That wasn't his style. Sebastian was always direct.
If he had truly wanted me out of his life to protect Evelyn's feelings, he would have accepted the money without a moment's hesitation.
He had spent the last two months inventing reasons to see me.
This demand for cash was just another one of his excuses to make me see him in person.
I knew him, and I knew him way too well.
Two months ago, he had stood there and watched me cheat on him. He watched me shield another man and slap his face, over and over.
Yet somehow, even after all that, a part of him still refused to believe I could ever betray him.
The day after I moved out, he started showing up at my new apartment building.
For two straight months, he did this without fail.
When I refused to open the door, he would just sit in his car parked down the street, waiting.
He would stay there all night.
Sebastian was the kind of person who never gave up.
He would just look at me with those heartbroken, bloodshot eyes and ask the same question. "Why? Violet, why don't you love me anymore?"
He was my poor, stupid Sebastian.
Love never needed a reason to start.
So there couldn't be a reason for it to end, either.
The last time I saw Sebastian, I ended things for good. I kissed my "new man" right in front of him, making him watch. My eyes were burning, but I kept my face cold and hard as I stared him down.
"See that, Sebastian?" I asked, my voice like ice. "I'm just not into you anymore. I'm bored.
"Now, get the hell out."
And that was it. Sebastian disappeared from my life.
Of course, the whole thing was a carefully staged lie. My "new man" was just an actor I had paid to make Sebastian hate me. After the mess, I started focusing on my treatment.
Time had a way of slipping through my fingers.
I looked up one day and realized two months had passed since I'd last seen Sebastian.
I had promised myself I would never see him again.
But the doctor told me the cancer was spreading faster than we could keep up with.
And he gave me a month, tops.
And in that moment, all my resolve crumbled. I wanted to see him one last time.
*****
With the cash stuffed into my handbag, I walked into Veridian Path's building. Sebastian and I had poured our souls into it.
His assistant informed me he was in a meeting, so I settled into a chair in his office to wait.
One hour bled into two. The entire morning passed in the heavy silence of his office, but he never showed up.
A dull ache started deep in my bones, and a cold sweat broke out across my forehead.
I knew my body did not have the strength to wait any longer.
I also knew that if I stayed, the pain would get bad, and I would fall apart right there.
Just as I finally pushed my aching body to its feet, the door opened.
Sebastian walked in.
He had lost a lot of weight.
His chiseled features looked even more defined, but I could see the exhaustion etched deep into his face.
Sebastian's voice was icy. "So, how does it feel to be the one left waiting, Violet?"
This was his revenge.
A sharp spike of pain shot through my joints, forcing tears into my eyes as I rubbed my leg. "It feels like hell."
And I meant it, because every second in that office was another form of torture.
This room was a ghost, haunted by too many of our memories.
In this room, we had worked, celebrated birthdays, kissed, and screamed at each other.
The weight of all those beautifully ordinary moments came crashing down on me, and I almost choked on a sob.
I bit down hard on my lip, forcing the tears back.
"That's why I was on my way out," I said, my voice barely steady.
In a flash, Sebastian closed the distance between us, his fingers clamping down on my arm like a vise.
"Two months, Violet," he snarled, his voice a low growl. "Not a word. Are you telling me you didn't miss me at all?
"Don't play me for a fool. You really thought I wouldn't figure out you hired that guy?"
This was it. This was why I had been avoiding Sebastian.
He was too damn smart. He knew it was all a lie.
My eyes burned, but I forced a laugh that sounded like shattering glass.
I shot back, "You think the world revolves around you, don't you, Sebastian?
"It's simpler than that. I just got sick of you."
His chest rose and fell in rough, uneven breaths. The anger he'd been holding back for two months finally lit up his eyes.
"Then why did you quit your job?" he demanded, his voice rising. "Why have you been avoiding me?
"Violet, what the hell did I do? Or is it something else... Are you sick? Is that what this is?"
My heart stopped dead in my chest.
I ripped my arm from his grasp and shoved him back.
"What is wrong with you?" I snapped, my voice frantic. "Just because I cheated on you doesn't mean you can wish I was sick!"
Blinded by panic, I swung the heavy bag of cash and slammed it into his body, again and again.
I had done this before, lashing out with my fists and with words designed to kill his love for me.
He had never fought back then, and he didn't fight back now.
He grunted as a corner of the bag dug into his ribs, but his other hand shot out and locked around my wrist.
"No," he said, his voice strained. "You're not running this time. You're gonna tell me what's really going on."
A bitter ache swelled in my chest.
My entire body was shaking as I looked up at him. I pulled my hand back and slapped him with everything I had left.
The crack of my palm against his skin was sickeningly loud in the dead silence of the office.
I screamed the words at him. "Tell you what?
"That I don't love you anymore? Is that what you need to hear again?
"Why won't you just let me go? Did you drag me all the way down here for cash just to put us through this again? Is any of this fun for you, Sebastian?"
A dark, angry red handprint was blooming on his skin.
He turned his head, letting out a cold, mocking laugh.
When he finally turned back to me, his eyes were shiny and wet.
"No, Violet," he whispered, his voice cracking. "It's not fun at all."