Chapter 1

I screwed up and ordered a custom coffin using the joint account I still shared with my ex, Sebastian Gray.

A second later, my phone was blaring the ringtone I had set just for him.

Sebastian's voice, a low and lazy drawl, came through the phone.

"Violet, all we did was break up. You don't have to plan my funeral already, do you?" he said.

Our breakup was ugly.

Sebastian had caught me red-handed, taking my clothes off for some other guy in my bed. He'd lost it and beaten the guy half to death.

Blinded by tears, I slapped Sebastian again and again.

When I didn't answer, Sebastian tried to play it cool, teasing me.

"So what's the new plan?" he went on. "Since you can't marry me, you're settling for being buried with me instead?"

Sebastian and I had known each other for twelve years, since we were kids. We'd been together for seven of them.

He knew well that my only birthday wish, every single year, was to be his wife.

The autumn wind bit at my skin as I stood frozen in front of the hospital, the medical report crinkling in my fist. Tears welled up, blurring the world around me.

"Yeah, I am," I shot back. "You got a problem with that?"

The line went dead silent.

Just as I thought he'd hung up, his voice came back, stripped of all its earlier warmth.

"Violet," he said, "I've decided to be with Evelyn.

"You know how I am. I can only love one person at a time."

Autumn in Javeriton was all gold and dying leaves, beautiful and sad all at once.

That was the story of Sebastian and me. It had been so bright for so many years, only to end up scattered and dead on the ground like those sycamore leaves.

I sniffled and then forced a hollow laugh before I spoke into the phone.

"Oh, come on. " I said, trying to sound breezy. I was just kidding.

"We're cool, right? Of course, I get it. Don't worry. I'll swing by the funeral home this afternoon, cancel the whole thing, and transfer the money right back to your account."

My finger was already hovering over the "end call" button when his voice cut through, sharp and clear.

"Violet Hayes," he said, his voice deadly serious. "If you do this, there's no coming back for us.

"So you'd better be sure this is what you want."

I could practically feel the anger rolling off him, even through the phone.

It had been two months since we'd split. Even though he had literally caught me with another guy, he couldn't accept it. He was still leaving the door cracked open for us.

I bit down on my lip as a bitter taste flooded my mouth. A part of me was touched, but the rest of me just felt hollow.

Then I started to laugh. It was a broken sound that immediately turned into sobs.

"Coming back from what?" I choked out. "We've been together forever, Sebastian. Frankly, I was bored to death, even if you weren't.

"This is better, isn't it? I fell in love with someone else, and you've got someone new. Everybody's happy."

I put everything I had into making my voice sound cheerful and breezy.

Sebastian's voice turned to pure ice. "Fine. You got what you wanted."

He hung up.

The moment the line went dead, my legs gave out, and I crumpled to the pavement. The tears I had been holding back finally broke free.

It was the middle of the day. The sidewalk in front of the hospital was a river of people, and they flowed right past me.

A woman walking by stopped. I guessed she saw the complete mess I was in, so she gently touched my shoulder.

"Hey now, it's okay, sweetie," she said softly. "Whatever it is, you can get through it. Modern medicine can fix just about anything these days."

I sank my teeth into my own arm, trying to muffle the sound. Huge, gasping sobs still tore their way out of my chest.

I wanted to scream at her that she was wrong, that they couldn't fix what was wrong with me.

I had cancer. And the doctor had said there was nothing anyone could do.