Chapter 3

A chill ran down my spine.

This wasn't a coincidence. It happened four times. No way that would be a coincidence.

I scrolled through my contacts and dug up Grace's number. She was my third ex, the one I dated the longest.

The phone rang three times before she picked up.

"Alex?" Grace sounded surprised. "What do you want?"

"Grace, can I ask you something?" I said, my voice a little hoarse. "When we were together, did you ever get this urge to cheat, like you just couldn't help yourself?"

There was a long silence on the other end.

"Why are you asking me this?" she finally said.

"Just answer me," I pressed.

Another silence. Then she said, "Yeah."

My fingers tightened around the phone.

"So, with that client," I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, "did you really like him, or was it just that you couldn't help yourself?"

"Alex," she cut me off. "I'll be straight with you. When we were together, I really liked you, I mean it. But at the same time, I kept feeling drawn to other men.

"I thought maybe I just didn't like you enough, so I felt that way. But after we broke up, that feeling just disappeared. When I was with that client, it wasn't like that at all. So honestly, I don't get it either."

"Then why didn't you tell me back then?" I asked.

"How was I supposed to tell you? 'Hey, I can't stop myself from wanting to sleep with other guys?'" she said with a bitter laugh. "Alex, I'm not a bad person. I'm just human. That feeling was eating me alive, so I had to leave."

"And what about after that?"

"After that, I was just back to my old self. Once we broke up, that urge was gone for good."

I hung up.

Then I dialed Sophie's number. It went straight to voicemail.

I dialed Sophie's number. It was disconnected.

I slumped back in my chair, staring at the ceiling, my mind a total mess.

It wasn't them. It was me.

I must have something messed up inside me.

For the next week, I was like a man possessed, chasing down every lead I could find.

I managed to track down Chloe's best friend and, after jumping through some hoops, finally got her new number. When I called, Chloe was in the middle of dinner. She was totally caught off guard to hear my voice.

"Alex? Oh my god, it's been years! How did you even find me?" she said.

"Chloe, I need to ask you something," I said, cutting straight to the chase. "When we were together, did you ever get this urge to cheat, like you just couldn't control yourself?"

On the other end, she went quiet for a few seconds.

"Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?" she asked.

"Just answer me," I pressed.

"Yeah," Chloe finally whispered. "I really didn't want to say this. When I was with you, I always felt so on edge.

"Whenever I saw the basketball captain, my heart would pound, and I'd feel this crazy urge to go talk to him. I thought I was being fickle or something, but after we broke up, it went away."

"And after that?" I asked.

"After that, I dated him for three months, but we broke up too. Everything was totally normal during that time. I never felt that crazy urge again. Then I got married. My husband's good to me, and I've never even thought about cheating on him."

"So that feeling only happened when you were with me?"

"Yeah, seems like it."

I hung up.

Three girlfriends, all gave me the exact same answer.

Emily was the same way.

Four women, all with different personalities, backgrounds, and experiences. The only thing they had in common was that they'd all dated me, and every single one of them ended up feeling this uncontrollable urge to betray me.

This wasn't something psychology could explain. It wasn't about attachment styles, trauma, or family issues.

This was something else. Something I couldn't understand, couldn't touch, couldn't even begin to imagine.

I was sitting on the couch in my apartment, staring at the ceiling, when a thought suddenly flashed through my mind.

Hannah Stone. She had a crush on me back in high school. We never actually dated, but I still remember the way she looked at me. It was like her eyes could burn a hole right through me, so intense it was almost scary.

Then one day, she disappeared. She moved away, transferred schools, and just like that, she was gone from my life, like she'd never been there at all.

And right after that, I got cheated on for the first time in my life.

I grabbed my phone and started searching for "Hannah Stone" on social media.

I found her.

Her profile picture was a landscape, and her bio said, "Life is peaceful." Her latest post was from three days ago, a selfie with the caption "I still miss you today, Mom."

I sent her a message. [Hannah, it's Alex. Can we talk?]

The message went through, and I saw it was read.

Then she replied with a question. [You figured it out?]

All of a sudden, my heart dropped.