Chapter 4
"Where were you the night your mother had hip surgery?"
Daniel looked away.
I already knew the answer, but I waited for him to say it.
"Here."
"I called you."
"I remember."
"I asked if you could come back and take over for a few hours."
His mother had been in too much pain to sleep that night, pressing the call button over and over and clutching my hand, refusing to let go.
I'd sat beside her bed until my back hurt too much to straighten, and I still had to take Lucy to school the next morning.
Daniel had told me it was too late and the drive would be difficult, asking me to hang in there.
"She already had someone looking after her," he said. "There wasn't much I could've done even if I'd come back."
I looked at him.
"Someone."
He pressed his lips together.
"That ‘someone' was me."
"I know it was hard on you."
"You knew, and you stayed here anyway?"
He reached for me, and I moved away.
Natalie lowered her head and stroked the dog's ears without a word.
She'd heard exactly what happened that night, and she was still standing by Daniel's side.
I stopped waiting for her expression to change.
"Who are you going home with tonight?" I asked.
Daniel lifted his head.
"What?"
"Are you leaving with me, or are you staying here?"
He let out a breath.
"Now isn't the time to force me to make a decision."
I looked at his sweater by the window, then at his shirt on Natalie.
He'd already made plenty of decisions. He just didn't want to admit them to my face.
"I'm not asking you to decide the rest of your life," I said. "I'm asking about tonight."
Natalie pushed her cup aside.
"If you take her home, are you coming back tonight?"
I watched Daniel, waiting for his answer.
He wouldn't look at either of us, bending to pick up the toy the dog had dropped, setting it on the edge of the counter, then taking it off again.
"Claire, go home for now."
The kitchen went quiet.
"I'll come home to you once I've sorted things out here."
"What is there to sort out?"
"We can't solve everything in one day."
"It's my birthday, and you're my husband."
"I know."
"So I can keep waiting, right?"
He stepped closer and lowered his voice, the way he used to when he wanted me to accept a last-minute business trip or put off a vacation.
"We've known each other all these years. You should know I'll always look after you."
Look after me.
He'd finally found a promise he could keep.
I bent down and picked up the paper bag with the mugs inside.
The handles were tangled, and after failing twice to untangle them, I just gathered them into my fist.
Daniel noticed.
"Are you okay to drive?"
I looked up.
He knew my hands were shaking, and he knew I had a three-hour drive home.
But he didn't reach for his car keys.
"I got myself here. I can get myself home."
"Text me when you get there."
I didn't agree to.
The cake was still on the cabinet.
When I reached for it, frosting from the bottom of the box smeared my fingertips, and Daniel pulled out a tissue and held it toward me.
I didn't take it.
I carried my things to the door, Sunny following until Natalie called the dog back.
The sea breeze swept in, and I'd just stepped over the threshold when Natalie spoke.
"Daniel, we're still moving in together in June, right?"
I stopped.
June.
Daniel had told me that was when he was taking early retirement.