Chapter 1

On Christmas Eve, just because Derek Leonard added "I Miss You" to our shared playlist, I boarded a high-speed train and traveled 750 miles to his city.

Derek and I were head over heels for each other when we got the devastating news that my mom had cancer.

After that, I turned down a job offer from a big company and went back home to take the civil service exam.

When I left, Derek looked at me with such tenderness at the airport.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. With how easy it is to travel these days, I'll fly out to see you every month," he said.

Derek and I did the long-distance thing for a whole seven years.

He had a whole stack of boarding passes from flying out to see me.

But over the past six months, we started talking less and less. Even my texts would go unanswered for ages.

So this time, I decided to drop everything and go to Derek to propose to him.

But when I finally got to Derek's house, he turned to his parents and said I was just a friend visiting from another city.

*****

The house was still echoing with the lively broadcast.

But when Derek called me a friend, those words stung, leaving a heavy ache in my chest.

His mom walked over with a warm smile, gently took my hand, and welcomed me.

She said, "Oh, you're Derek's friend, right? Did you come because you heard he's getting married?

"Oh, you're a bit early. Derek's wedding is on the eighth day after Christmas, so you've got a few days to wait."

A sudden, crushing pain gripped my chest, and in disbelief, my fingers shook as I gripped the handle of my suitcase.

I locked my gaze on Derek, but he avoided my eyes entirely, let out an awkward cough, and pulled his mom away.

"Mom, what are you doing? She's a city girl. She's not big on people touching her," Derek said.

Derek's voice was a bit rough as he spoke to me.

"Why don't you come in and sit for a while? Maybe grab some oranges," he said, awkwardly.

Flustered, he turned to his mom. "Mom, didn't we get some cherries? Could you wash a few? She likes those."

His mom's face fell a little, and she muttered under her breath, "Didn't you say Bailey bought these cherries?

"They're so expensive. If we serve them now, what will Bailey have to eat when she comes over?"

My hands suddenly balled into fists, my nails digging hard into my palms.

So the girl he was about to marry was named Bailey Fitzgerald.

My nails were digging so hard into my palm just to keep myself from breaking down, but I forced myself to call out to Derek's mother as she headed into the kitchen.

I said, "Ma'am, I don't eat cherries. Derek must've mixed it up. I'm actually allergic."

After I finished, I turned to Derek, hoping he'd finally face me.

I was desperate for an explanation, but once again, he just stood up and headed straight for the kitchen.

As I watched his back retreat, tears fell from my eyes in an instant.

I couldn't even put into words what I was feeling. After all, when I came here, I was chasing after happiness. Before I left, I even got down on my knees in front of my mom.

I was crying, apologizing over and over, telling her how sorry I was, how much I missed Derek, and how badly I wanted to marry him.

After that, I went straight to Derek's hometown to find him.

I wondered what that was all for.

My chest felt so tight I could hardly breathe, and just then, Derek came back out.

I discreetly wiped away the tears at the corners of my eyes, trying to make sure he wouldn't see.

He handed me a plate of fruit. "Go ahead, eat. My mom's just careful with money, so don't let it bother you," he said.

Seeing those glossy cherries sitting in the fruit bowl, my heart clenched so hard I could barely breathe.

It took me back to the days when Derek and I were happiest together.

We met in college, and our allowances barely covered the basics.

But every winter, Derek would still buy me cherries every few days, using the money he earned from tutoring on weekends or holding signs for ad agencies.