Chapter 2

The next morning, I woke up in pain. Colin was still lying on top of me.

My phone kept ringing nearby. Colin reached out, picked it up, answered it, and held it to my ear.

I heard Leon's anxious voice on the other end of the line. "Vivian, where did you go? I can't find you. Someone said they saw you go into a hotel.

"I came to look for you, but the front desk said they hadn't seen you. Where are you? I'll come get you. I'm really worried." No accusations. Just worry.

I listened to his anxious voice, and Tears rolled down my face. I couldn't stop them.

Just then, Colin bit my earlobe on purpose. It hurt, so I let out a soft whimper.

"Baby, did I hurt you?" he said.

His voice wasn't loud. I heard it. And Leon heard it too on the other end.

Leon asked, "Vivian, who's that with you? Are you in trouble? Tell me where you are. I'll come find you."

I looked at Colin's nasty smile. My hand tightened around the phone more and more. Finally, I gave a bitter laugh and said into the phone, "I'm sleeping with someone else."

"What do you mean?" Leon asked.

"Exactly what it sounds like," I replied. "I cheated on you. I fell for someone else. We're done. Don't call me again."

After I said that, I didn't dare listen to his reply. I just turned off my phone and flung it aside.

Colin's power was something two students like us could never match. If he wanted to crush Leon and me, it would only take a word.

I couldn't let Leon's life be ruined because I had gotten involved with a crazy man.

Colin looked at me like I was a cat puffing up its fur. He comfortingly patted my hair and smiled, "Good girl, baby."

"Promise me you won't go after him anymore," I said.

He put his hand on my chest. "All I ever wanted was you. As long as you stop thinking about him, I won't lower myself to go after him."

*****

That night, Colin brought me beautiful dresses. He dressed me up like a pretty doll and led me into the house that would trap me for the next 20 years.

He got down on one knee in front of me and held my hand, acting all sweet and eager to please. But his words sent a chill down my spine. "You can only be mine."

Colin's possessiveness was terrifying. He would lose it if I so much as spoke to another guy. Even my going out to eat with female classmates would make him angry.

When he got angry, he would tie me to the bed so I couldn't go anywhere.

He would hit me. He would grab my neck and ask, "Why are you smiling at someone else? You're mine. Mine."

When he calmed down, he would look at the marks he'd left on my body, guilt all over his face.

He would hold me, shaking, and say, "I just want your heart and body to be mine alone. I just love you too much. Don't smile at other people, okay? And don't give your care to anyone else. I get jealous. I want all of you to myself."

*****

Six months after we got together, I got pregnant.

Colin cut off all my social contact. He made me drop out of school. He wouldn't let me see my parents. He trapped me in the house. I couldn't go anywhere.

He wouldn't even let me see my parents one last time when they died. He was so sick that he wouldn't allow me to cry for anyone but him.

After the baby was born, he was afraid I would give some of my feelings to the baby. So he sent our newborn son, Alex Stanton, to the old family house.

All those years, Alex and I barely saw each other. He had no feelings for me. He even hated me because I was his mother.

But it didn't matter, because I didn't like him either. Who would love a rapist's child?

Every time Alex threw cold words at me, Colin would hold me and say, "He doesn't matter. I'm your only real family. I love you. I'll love you forever."

Now I was 40, old and faded. He said I turned his stomach. He said he didn't feel anything for me anymore.

I got up and went to take a shower. I wiped the fog off the mirror with my hand and looked at the stranger inside. Numb. Worn out. Old.

Someone stole my twenties before I even got a chance to remember what the summer wind smelled like.

I looked at the rings of scars on my body from years of being chained up. The feelings I had held together for 20 years broke right then. I wrapped my arms around myself and cried in the bathroom for a long time.

So long that by the time Colin came back, I had already passed out in there.