Chapter 4
I had no memory of walking out of the apartment building.
I only remembered the cold wind stinging my cheeks and tears that would not stop falling.
I tried to shake the memory loose, but it only burned clearer.
So clear that I could recall every single expression on James's face.
The annoyance in his eyes when he spoke of me.
The soft, protective way he held Emily.
And that promise, every word piercing straight through my chest.
James told Emily, "I promise she'll never find out. You can still be friends with her, and we can keep seeing each other in secret."
It felt as if I were the villain in this story, the obstacle keeping two lovers apart.
When I got home, I locked myself in my room.
My mom spoke to me through the door, going over plans for my departure.
"Do you want James to see you off on the day of your flight?" she asked.
"No," I replied.
That was the last bit of dignity I had left in this whole mess.
I did not sleep that night. Memories from years past flooded my mind on a loop.
When I fainted from low blood sugar, Emily was the first to reach me. She carried me on her back all the way to the hospital.
She was so worried she didn't even eat, but she refused to leave my side until I finally woke up.
When my parents locked me at home to study around the clock, James snuck through my bedroom window and took me to Nippura to see the snow I had dreamed of for years.
I once believed I held the truest friendship and the most precious love in the world.
But overnight, both burst like bubbles, vanishing without a trace.
*****
The next day, I showed up at school with puffy, red-rimmed eyes.
The teacher was getting everyone together for the graduation photos.
Everyone was scrambling to get a good spot, pushing and shoving to be in the front.
Seeing me still standing on the edge, a few classmates started teasing me.
"Where's James? Isn't James supposed to stand wherever Grace stands?" one of them joked.
As soon as the words left their mouth, someone deliberately shoved him right next to me, egging us on.
"Over here."
"Everyone knows the golden couple has to stand together. Move aside."
Seeing this, the teacher smiled and nodded in approval. "You two do make a fine pair."
With everyone egging us on, we ended up standing shoulder to shoulder.
When Emily saw us, she froze for a moment.
Emily forced herself to stay composed, pushing down the ache in her chest, and said in a flat voice, "Grace, you two really do look perfect together."
As soon as Emily said that, I felt James tense up next to me, a strange look flashing in his eyes.
"Three, two, one."
"Watch out."
As everyone was getting ready for the photo, a basketball suddenly hurtled toward us.
My hand shot out for James on instinct, but he'd already dashed over to Emily, stepping in front of her to shield her.
A sharp cry tore from my throat.
The basketball slammed into my shoulder full force.
I lost my balance and tumbled off the steps, my knee slamming hard into the concrete.
Blood seeped through the fabric of my uniform pants, dark and warm.
"Grace," James called out.
By the time James came to his senses, the class president was already helping me up.
Emily rushed over to help, but I shook her off.
"I can manage on my own," I said.
James opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the class president was already walking me to the nurse's office.
When I got back to class after getting my knee bandaged, I caught a flash of guilt in James's eyes.
"I'm sorry, Grace. I..." James started, his voice low.
"It's fine. No need to apologize," I cut him off flatly, dropping my gaze to my exam drills.
James sensed the shift between us, but he had no grounds to push the issue. He said nothing more.
The days that followed unfolded as if nothing had changed.
I still helped Emily with her homework, and I still walked home with James after school.
I acted like I didn't see those little moments when they'd unconsciously reach for each other.
James kept wanting to say something, but he couldn't find a reason to bring it up. So in the end, he let it go.
On the day of the SAT, the three of us stood together at the school gate, giving each other pep talks.
"Grace, you've got this," Emily said, her voice full of encouragement.
"We'll all be together in college, like always," James added, grinning.
"Yeah, don't worry about me," I replied, trying to sound confident.
James already had a plan for how we'd celebrate.
"Hey, when the scores come out, how about we all hit up Willow Lane Retreat together?" James suggested.
"Yeah, that sounds great," Emily replied, her voice full of excitement.
I smiled as I listened to Emily's cheerful response.
"Alright," I replied.
After we parted ways, I didn't go home. Instead, I headed straight for the airport.
My parents hugged me tightly, tears in their eyes, as we said our final goodbyes.
As the plane took off, I looked down at the acceptance in my hand and finally let out a sigh of relief.
In that moment, friendship and love both faded into the past.