Chapter 4

I set my phone down on the table and pulled up the records of my monthly automatic transfers.

I said, "My monthly salary is 7,000 dollars. I paid 3,000 dollars for the mortgage, 400 dollars for your dad's meds, and 2,000 dollars a month for your mom's caregiver last year.

"Also, there was 27,000 dollars you asked me for Michael's wedding, the renovations, the appliances, and pretty much all the everyday bills came out of my pocket."

Andrew frowned. "I've been giving you my salary all these years."

"And now you're letting Emily use your payroll card."

"It's only for a few months."

"So who's going to pay for everything in the Carter family these next few months?"

He stared at the thermos on the table, not saying a word.

I continued, "If you want to help Emily, that's your business. If you use your own salary for her, I can't stop you.

"But if you take all your income for yourself and expect me to keep covering the mortgage, your parents, and your brother's bills. I can't do it."

Andrew lowered his voice. "My parents never expected you to pay for them."

"Who paid for your dad's checkup last month?"

"I'll take care of it from now on."

"Alright."

He clearly hadn't expected me to agree so quickly.

I opened my notes app and sent him the details, including his dad's next checkup date, the usual meds, and the doctor's office hours.

I added, "The checkup's on the 12th next month. He's got ten days left of his blood pressure meds, and he'll need a new prescription for the uric acid meds.

"Your mom's blood sugar test strips are almost gone. The model's in the purchase history. From now on, you handle it."

Andrew picked up his phone and read through the long message.

"So you're going to stop taking care of all this?" Andrew asked.

"You said you'd handle it," I replied.

"My work hours are all over the place, and I'm always traveling for work. My parents are used to coming to you first whenever they need something."

"They'll get used to it."

Andrew set his phone down on the table, his knuckles tight with tension.

He sighed, "Sarah, you moved out, stopped paying the mortgage, and now you're not taking care of my parents anymore.

"What do you want from me? Should I cut Emily out of my life completely and beg you to come back?"

"Whatever," I replied, my voice flat.

"You're pushing me into a corner."

I didn't bother explaining anymore. I stood up, closed the thermos, and held it out to him.

"It's late. I have to work tomorrow," I said.

Andrew didn't take it.

"Do you have to make things this complicated?" Andrew asked.

"You took the bank card, and I moved out on my own. No one's making a scene," I replied.

He stood up, his tall frame making the small living room feel more cramped.

"I'm not going to leave Emily behind. She came to me when she was at her lowest. If I avoid her today to make you happy, I wouldn't be able to respect myself," Andrew said.

"Then go ahead and take care of her," I replied.

He stared at me, probably trying to see if I was being stubborn.

I wasn't angry, and I wasn't crying.

Ever since he decided to take care of Emily and her kid, it was all laid out. He started supporting them, and I stepped back.

Andrew waited a moment, then picked up the thermos.

As he reached the door, he turned back and said, "I'll take care of the mortgage myself. You don't have to worry about my parents. When you've cooled off, we can talk again."

I closed the door and hung up the two coats he'd brought.

Ten minutes later, Georgia sent me a voice message.

She told me that Andrew had called her on his way home, asking her not to reach out to me anymore. He'd handle the mortgage and everything to do with the house.

Then came another line: [See? He's already compromised. Don't be so stubborn. Move your stuff back in a couple of days.]

I didn't reply.

When my paycheck hit my account at the end of the month, for the first time, I didn't transfer out the usual 3,000 dollars.

The full amount stayed in my account, and I found myself staring at it for a long time before finally booking a meeting with a financial advisor at the bank.

For the past five years, I'd always taken care of the Carter family's bills first, and only then thought about what was left for myself.

This time, I decided to put myself first.

Going through the accounts was way more of a hassle than I'd expected.

The bank statements showed the numbers, but not what each payment was for. The renovation money from five years ago went to the contractor, the hardware store, and a few workers.

The meds of my father-in-law, Alexander Carter, were sometimes bought at the hospital, sometimes at the pharmacy.

The 27,000 dollars for Michael's wedding was split into three transfers to Georgia and Michael's accounts.

I spent two weekends digging through chat logs, digital receipts, and my phone's photo album.

I never kept track of my spending before, so a lot of those payments were made on the fly.

Georgia had texted me: [We're short 7,000 dollars for the hospital deposit,] and I transferred it over.

Andrew had said, "Michael's still short on the wedding money. Can you help him out for now?" and I sent over 27,000 dollars, split into two payments.

When the contractor asked for the final payment, I paid it during a break in my meeting and didn't mention it when I got home.

Back then, I thought we had all the time in the world, and there was no need for a family to live by the numbers.

Now, as I totaled up all the expenses, it felt like our five-year marriage was summed up in cold, hard numbers.

The mortgage was 180,000 dollars.

Renovation and appliances cost 92,000 dollars.

Alexander's medical bills, meds, and follow-ups were over 30,000 dollars.

Georgia's gallbladder surgery and caregiver costs were 40,000 dollars.

I transferred 27,000 dollars for Michael's wedding and 2,900 dollars for his baby's one-month celebration.

I couldn't piece together every single household expense, but the ones I managed to track down were already over 70,000 dollars.

And that didn't count all the time I'd spent.