Chapter 1

When I was six, my sister Mia and I were trapped in a fire. I was the only one who made it out alive. From that day on, my mom, Elaine Harper, hated me.

At night, she'd come into my room with those white pills, trying to pry my mouth open and force them in, but my dad always stopped her just in time.

Later, I cut my hair to match Mia's and started wearing floral dresses, trying to live as her shadow. Only then did Mom finally notice me.

Four years later, Mom got pregnant again. She said Mia was coming back.

I was happy for her. Mia was coming back. It felt nice.

So I was no longer needed as Mia's stand-in in this family.

I found those pills Mom had tried to force on me years ago and swallowed them quietly.

*****

The pills left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I doubled over, gagging as bile mixed with saliva rose in my throat.

These were the pills Mom had hidden in the bottom drawer of her dresser four years ago. Back then, she'd sit by my bed late at night, clutching Mia's old dress, her eyes empty as she said.

"Why aren't you with her yet?"

Now, I was going to give Mom what she'd always wanted.

I was wearing a pink dress, the waistband cutting into my skin. It was Mia's favorite style, but it hadn't fit me in years.

But Mom said I had to keep wearing it, so I'd look like Mia.

From the living room, I heard Mom's laughter, softer and sweeter than I'd ever heard before.

She was rubbing her belly, talking to Dad.

"The doctor says it's definitely a girl this time. Look how gentle the baby moves," she said, her voice soft and sweet. "Soon, I won't have to look at that jinx's face ever again."

I wanted to see Mom's smile one last time.

Just as I reached the doorway, Dad spotted me. He folded his newspaper with a crease. "Lily, why aren't you practicing the piano?"

His eyes flicked over my dress, then quickly looked away, like he'd seen something he shouldn't have.

Mom turned and saw me, and her smile vanished instantly.

"Who told you to come out? You cut your hair again. Didn't I tell you to grow it out like Mia's long curls?"

She strode over and poked her finger hard into my forehead.

"You're always such a hassle. When Mia is born, if you even lay a finger on her, I'll throw you out of this house."

I shrank back, a red mark spreading across my forehead.

The pills in my stomach started to dissolve, and waves of cramps twisted through my gut, making me double over in pain.

Dad moved to help me, but Mom blocked him. "Leave her alone. She's probably just pretending to be sick for attention."

I bit my lip and stayed silent, slowly shuffling back to my room.

With every step, it felt like needles were stabbing my stomach. My hands and feet went numb, and even holding onto the doorframe, my grip slipped weakly.

I lay down on my bed, and chills started to sweep through my body in waves.

The door creaked open, and Dad walked in carrying a glass of warm water.

He set the glass on my nightstand, hesitated for a long moment, then said softly, "Lily, your mom's pregnant and her moods haven't been great lately. Try not to let it get to you."

I shook my head, but all I could manage was a faint gasp. Dad's face started to blur in my vision.

He sighed, then pulled the blanket up over me. "Get some sleep. You've got a school recital tomorrow. Don't make your mom even angrier."

He closed the door behind him, and the room fell completely silent.

I reached under my pillow and took out the small silver bracelet. Mia had worn it before she died.

Inside the bracelet, Mia's name was engraved, and I polished it every day to keep it shiny.

Mom said this belonged to Mia and I had to keep it safe. Last time, a classmate took it to play with, and Mom slapped me before I could get it back.

Gradually, my vision faded to white.

I gripped the little silver bracelet tightly in my palm and closed my eyes.

Mom, Mia's coming back. You won't have to look at me, your replacement, and feel sad anymore.

This is good.

Slowly, the pain faded away.

It felt like a soft breeze picked me up, and I drifted up, hovering above. I could clearly see that small, fragile body lying on the bed.

The pink dress was all wrinkled around her, her face as pale as paper, lips bluish, a bit of bile still smeared at the corner of her mouth, and she was gripping that little silver bracelet.

Mom came in just as I was looking down at my hands.

They were see-through, sunlight shining straight through them, and I could still see Mia's photo hanging on the wall.

She didn't even glance at me lying on the bed. She walked straight to the desk, picked up Mia's photo, and wiped it over and over, muttering, "Mia, I'm going to buy you a new crib today. Do you want pink or beige?"

She turned to leave, but her foot bumped into the edge of the bed.

Only then did she give me an annoyed glance, frowning. "Still sleeping? The sun's already up. Get up and make some porridge. Are you trying to starve me and Mia?"

I drifted over to her and called out, "Mom."

She didn't hear me. She just shuffled out in her slippers, humming that song she used to sing only for Mia.

From the kitchen, I heard Dad cracking eggs, and Mom's voice, "Add more pumpkin to the porridge. Mia always loved sweet things."

I drifted to the kitchen doorway and saw Dad putting the fried eggs on a plate, shaped like little bunnies.

I used to love those bunny-shaped eggs, too.

But after Mia died, Dad only made me just regular round eggs. He said Mia liked the bunnies, and I didn't deserve them.

Mom took the plate and set it carefully in the center of the table, like it was some kind of treasure.

"Go get her up for breakfast," Mom said to Dad, her voice full of impatience. "Don't let her hold us up from buying the crib."

Dad set down the milk and headed toward my room.

I trailed behind him, watching as he stood by the bed, reaching out, then pulling his hand back, finally letting it rest on the corner of the blanket.

"Lily, time to get up," he said softly. "We're going to buy the crib today. Would you like to come with us?"

I didn't move.

Dad nudged my shoulder again. "Lily?"

Mom's voice called out from the living room. "Why are you dragging your feet? Is she pretending to be asleep again?"

She walked in quickly, saw Dad just standing by the bed, and snapped right away.

"She's totally faking it! She just doesn't want us shopping for Mia! Forget her. Let's go, Mia's waiting for us."

Dad stayed put. He looked at me lying on the bed, his voice suddenly sharp. "She's our child, too."

"She's not my child!" Mom screamed. "Mia is my only daughter! She's the jinx who killed Mia!"

She snatched the photo frame from the table and hurled it to the floor. The glass splintered, slicing Dad's hand open.

Dad stayed silent. He just knelt down and started picking up the shards one by one.

The phone rang in the living room. It was the school calling.

Mom picked up, her tone instantly turning polite. "Ms. Rowe, what's wrong?"