Chapter 1
Alice Brown was busy with the third version of her design when she received the critically ill notification about her daughter, Betty Jacobsen, from the hospital.
Her phone buzzed on the desk, and the words, Princess Margaret Hospital, popped up on its screen.
Her hand slipped and knocked over her mug. The mug fell on the keyboard, so the coffee spilled on the desk.
When Alice reached the ICU, the doctor had removed his mask. His expression was as grave as always.
"Ms. Brown, we've done everything we could. Acute leukemia led to multiple organ failure. Everything happened so fast," the doctor explained.
Alice didn't pay attention to what the doctor said next.
Through the glass, she saw her five-year-old daughter lying in the bed with tubes all over the body.
Betty looked so small and so still as if she were sleeping.
However, she would never wake up again, throw herself into Alice's arms, and say, "Mommy, I missed you so much."
A nurse handed Alice the death certificate, which needed the signatures of the dead's parents.
Alice took the pen. Her hand trembled so much that she couldn't write at all.
She tried to reach Steve Jacobsen. She got a busy signal from her first attempt.
In her second attempt, he hung up on her. Her third attempt succeeded.
From the other end of the line, she heard noises, including a woman's laughter and some medical workers calling the numbers.
"Yes?" Steve sounded impatient.
"Steve, Betty..." Alice's voice was hoarse. "Come and sign the papers."
After a few seconds of silence, Steve said, "I am busy now. Let's talk later."
Then, he hung up the phone.
The next second, the busy signal stung Alice's ear like the needle.
Alice watched the light from her phone screen dim. It occurred to her that she had found a medical report from Steve's coat pocket last month.
The report was about Anna Reynolds, and it said that she had been pregnant for 12 weeks.
It was issued by St Thomas' Hospital.
Anna was Steve's first love. Steve had loved Anna for ten years.
He was in the hospital with her for her prenatal appointment when his daughter died.
To him, she was much more important than his daughter.
Alice leaned against the wall and slowly squatted down.
She didn't cry because she had no more tears to shed.
Steve had shown up in Princess Margaret Hospital only three times after Betty was diagnosed.
His first visit to Princess Margaret Hospital was to pay the deposit.
The reason for his second visit was the critically ill notification about Betty.
In the third visit, he hadn't stayed there long because he said, "I have much work to do, so I have to leave right now."
Alice had pulled through those hard times alone.
She had quit her job, taken care of Betty, and raised money.
She had sold the small apartment from her parents, maxed her credit cards, and borrowed money from whoever was willing to help.
Steve had said that he had no money because his company was in financial trouble.
However, Alice learned from the financial news that his tech company had just done Series B and that its valuation reached more than ten million dollars.
She didn't nail the lie because Betty needed a dad, even nominally.
Now, Betty didn't need a dad, not anymore.
Alice signed her name on the death certificate.
She left a straight line where Steve's signature was supposed to be.
The nurse opened her mouth, but she said nothing in the end. After a sigh, she took all the papers away.
After Alice wrapped up all the formalities, it was already 8 PM.
She held in her arms Betty's relics, including a small schoolbag with unfinished homework inside and a bunny doll with only one ear left.
It rained when she stepped out of the hospital.
The rain in early winter was bone- chilling cold.
Alice didn't take an umbrella with her, and she didn't hail a taxi.
She walked on and on. She didn't know where to go.
To go home? That spacious house had been bought by Steve before he got married to Alice.
It had been decorated in the French style Anna loved.
Alice wasn't even allowed to change the curtains in it after she had married Steve.
*****
Steve said, "Anna likes this color. Just leave it as it is."
That was the first time Alice heard her husband mention Anna, in such a soft tone.
Later, she learned that Steve had bought that house for his marriage to Anna.
However, Anna had chosen to continue her studies abroad and later married her professor.
In a fit of anger, Steve had changed Alice from his blind date to his wife within three months.
Alice learned from her mother-in-law, Rebecca Jacobsen, the inside story from one of their fights.
Rebecca shouted, "He wouldn't have chosen you if Anna hadn't left him."
Rebecca was right, so Alice had lived like a tenant in that house in the past five years.
No, Alice's situation was worse than that.
A tenant was allowed to decorate his room as he liked, while Alice was disdained for just adding a pot of succulents to the living room.
"Anna said that plants like that were tacky," Steve said.
He kept repeating what Anna had said, and her words became the rules in his daily life with Alice.
*****
Faster and faster came the rain.