Chapter 1

The day after I caught Julian Carter cheating, he didn't beg, cry, or ask me to stay.

Instead, he calmly handed me a divorce agreement.

He said, "You once said that if I ever fell for another woman, you'd let me go without a fight. Lily. I love her. I can't stand seeing her treated like the other woman."

He was devoted when he loved me and decisive when he didn't.

He held out a pen. "Why are you crying? You really don't want to lose me, do you? Don't worry, Lily. You won't lose a cent in the divorce. We'll still be family."

He thought I'd cling to him.

I looked at the man standing before me and remembered three years ago, when my ex left me for another woman. I had been utterly shattered.

Julian was the one who held me and said, "Lily, forget him. What was so great about him anyway? I'll always be here for you."

Three years. That was all it took for him to break his promise.

I wanted to say, "Julian, I don't want your money. Can we not get divorced? At least not now."

I was hurting so badly.

But when I saw the impatience written across his face, the words begging him to stay caught in my throat.

I swallowed them and signed.

We had truly loved each other once. What was the point of dragging this out for another month or two?

It would only make him pity me.

The moment he saw my signature, Julian visibly relaxed, yet there was a strange hint of disappointment in his eyes.

He said, "That's it? You're signing just like that? You never forgot him, did you? You've been dying to run back to him all these years."

He had been the one rushing to end things, yet somehow, my willingness to let him go seemed to upset him.

He continued, "I was actually worried that you might... Never mind."

He swallowed whatever he had been about to say.

Julian calmly slipped the divorce agreement into his bag, a faintly provocative look in his eyes. "She likes this house. Move out as soon as you can."

So he even wanted me to give up our marital home.

Fine. Whatever.

I was dying anyway. He could do whatever he wanted.

Julian got exactly what he wanted and swept out the door like the wind.

What he didn't know was that for years to come, he would regret this day, trapped in a cycle of remorse he could never escape.

*****

Just before he handed me the divorce papers, I almost blurted out, "Julian, I'm dying. The doctors say I don't have much time left. Please, just stay with me."

Julian picked me up early the next morning and drove us straight to the courthouse.

He was so impatient that it was obvious he couldn't wait another second.

I had no idea what she'd promised him, but he was practically glowing with happiness; he'd never looked this happy, not even when I said yes to his proposal.

"Why is this taking so long? This whole divorce cooling-off period is just inhumane. They should get rid of it," Julian grumbled.

Julian was getting impatient, grumbling as he waited for his turn and snatched the paperwork from the clerk.

As soon as we stepped outside, Julian was already dialing his phone. "All done. Just gotta wait a month, so don't stress. Go ahead and pick out whatever wedding dress you want it's all up to you now."

He hung up, barely glancing at me. "Figure out your own ride. She's waiting for me.

"No need to go back home. You can have the apartment at Regency Gardens."

With that, he threw on his trench coat, hopped into his yellow sports car, and sped off like the wind.

I watched him speed away, my hand resting gently on my belly.

I'd already made the appointment to end the pregnancy.

It wasn't that I didn't love her; it was just that I didn't have much time left.

The day I found out I was going to be a mom, I got the news: late-stage cancer.

Her father didn't even know she existed, and he was already desperate to leave her mother behind.

God really is being cruel to me.

The pain in my bones was so intense that I could barely keep my thoughts straight.

A black Lincoln pulled up next to me.

The window slid down, and there was Andrew, his face as cold and unreadable as ever.

Unlike Julian's flashy yellow sports car, Andrew liked to keep things low-key; he always drove a Lincoln.

"Get in. I'll drive you," Andrew said.

When I hesitated, he yanked the door open, strode over, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me toward the car.

His voice was as cold as ever. "Don't be so melodramatic, Lily."

I stopped resisting and just let him bundle me into the car.

Andrew was my unforgettable first love, my ex-fiancé, and Julian's older brother.

Before we could tie the knot, he got involved with someone else.

No matter how much I pleaded, he wouldn't budge; he was dead set on breaking things off.

After that, Julian came back from abroad, and this little brother, five years younger, was the one who married me in the end.

I gazed out the window, watching the spring flowers bloom in a riot of color, as dazzling as clouds in the sky.

It was so beautiful.

I didn't want to blink, afraid I'd miss even a second of it.

I would never see a spring like this again.

I only had a little over a month left.

Two days ago, I went to pick up my prenatal checkup results, but the doctor called me back. It hit me like a bolt of lightning; he basically handed me a death sentence.

I went to find Julian.

He'd been so busy lately, he was never around.

I never had the heart to disturb him.

But now, I was dying.

All I wanted was to see him, just once.

"Julian, you're the only one left who loves me. I'm terrified. Let me be selfish for once; just stay with me," I wanted to beg him.

I kept pacing around the underground parking lot, circling aimlessly.

Just as I was about to make up my mind, my eyes were drawn to a car that was rocking back and forth.

It was Julian's car.

I couldn't even remember what I did.

When I came back to my senses, all I saw was Julian glaring at me, his face full of anger.

Julian snapped, "Lily, pull yourself together. It's not her fault; it's on me. Just go home. I'll handle this and give you an explanation."

I stared in a daze at the woman in the back seat, her clothes all messed up and looking completely exposed.

Julian had tossed his jacket over her face, making sure no one could see who she was.

He was covering for her, trying to protect her from any embarrassment.

There was something about her graceful silhouette that struck a chord of familiarity in me.

Julian shoved me into a cab and sent me back to the place we'd called home for three years.

I waited for him to come back and explain. If he ever wanted me again, I could forgive him for anything.

Maybe he was drunk, maybe it was a moment of weakness, maybe he got tempted by someone else. Whatever excuse he gave, I'd believe him without question.

After all, I was dying. I want him by my side;, that was all I needed.

He didn't even bother to call me for a whole day and night.

It wasn't until last night that he finally handed me the divorce papers.

Figures. He really was a bastard.

Andrew frowned, his tone icy and mocking. "When you two got married, Lily, I told you that kid was nothing but a jerk.

"He grabs whatever he wants and throws it away when he's bored. He's been like that since he was little, always treating life like it's just a game."

"Oh," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

Wasn't he as much of a bastard? He loved when he felt like it, and tossed people aside when he was done.

Andrew suddenly seemed pissed off for no reason.

"Didn't think you'd sign so fast. Honestly, I figured you'd be clinging to him, sobbing and refusing to let go like you used to," he said with a cold sneer.

I curled my fingers into a fist, my voice barely above a whisper. "Begging doesn't change a thing. If someone wants to leave, they'll walk away no matter what."

Something seemed to cross Andrew's mind, and he went quiet.

I'd begged Andrew before, begged him to stay with me and not walk away.

My mom died young, from the same illness I have now.

It was just me and my dad against the world.

He was Dylan Carter's driver.

He was honest and straightforward, always did his job by the book, and was loyal to a fault.

Dylan liked having him around wherever he went.

The day everything went wrong was my birthday.

Before he left, he hugged me tight. "Be good, sweetheart. Wait for me to come back, and we'll cut the cake together."

I waited for what felt like forever, and it wasn't until the next morning that I finally saw his body, soaked in blood.

Someone tried to kidnap Dylan, and my dad took more than a dozen stab wounds for him.

After that, the Carter family took me in.

Dylan, wanting to repay my dad, arranged for me to be engaged to Andrew.

Andrew's parents weren't happy about it, but with Dylan calling the shots, they didn't dare say a word.