Chapter 2
Ryan and I started dating five years ago at prom. He'd just been rejected by Sophie. That night, drunk and smelling like alcohol, he looked at me. "Emily, you like me, right? Want to get together?"
I froze. I never knew he knew about my feelings.
I didn't know what to say. Ryan stared at me, his eyes deep and unreadable. "If you don't want to, forget it."
"No, I want to," I blurted out.
I knew he was acting out of hurt, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted a chance. I hoped he'd fall for me eventually.
The next day, when Ryan heard Sophie was leaving for college overseas, he barely reacted. He came to me and said, "Emily, let's make it official."
We took our first photo together and he posted it online. Just like that, we were a couple.
Ryan was good to me. I thought I'd finally earned a place in his heart. But I was never his first choice—Sophie always was. I took a chance on him and lost.
The next day, my fever broke, and I was discharged.
On the way back, I checked WhatsApp for any messages from Ryan—nothing. I tapped over to Instagram, and the first post to appear was from Sophie.
She'd posted a selfie from her welcome party. In the corner, Ryan was visible in the background, like he just happened to be there.
A mutual friend commented: [Sophie, is that Ryan behind you?]
Sophie replied: [Yeah, I didn't even notice!]
Another friend: [Are you and Ryan together?]
Sophie: [Guess.]
The friend: [Ryan showed up the second you got back. He's still not over you.]
Sophie: [Don't say things like that.]
The friend replied: [Come on, everyone knows how crazy he was about you.]
I closed the app and flagged down a cab to head home.
Everyone knew Ryan and I were together, but nobody thought it would last. They figured he was just with me because he was mad at Sophie.
When I got home, Ryan wasn't there. I had no idea if he'd even come back last night.
I changed for work and left. It wasn't until I got off that I finally heard from Ryan. But instead of asking if I felt better, he just said: [I have something tonight. Won't be home for dinner.]
I locked the screen without replying.
After dinner and a shower, I was lying in bed scrolling through my phone when it rang. "Mom, what's up?"
"You keep saying you have a boyfriend. When are you bringing him home so we can meet him?"
I'd asked Ryan about meeting my family, but he always said his job wasn't stable yet. I thought that was fair, so I didn't push.
Looking back now, maybe he just never wanted to meet them.
"Mom, I just graduated. Why are you rushing to marry me off? You're acting like no one would ever want me."
"But you said you had a boyfriend and you'd been together for years!" my mom snorted.
I was suddenly relieved I'd never brought Ryan home.
Then my mom continued, "Remember my friend Mary Moore, right? She has a son about your age. You two should meet Saturday. If it doesn't work out, just treat it like making a friend."
When I didn't respond, she pressed, "Emily, did you hear me? I already promised Mary. Don't leave me hanging."
"Let's talk later." I hung up.
Out of habit, I opened WhatsApp. Sophie sent me a photo of Ryan cutting a steak. Two minutes later: [Emily, sorry, wrong chat.]
[You're okay with this, right? Ryan and I are just catching up—nothing to worry about.]
I knew it was on purpose, but I didn't have the confidence to confront her—not when Ryan always took her side anyway.
I blinked, and my heart still gave a sharp, involuntary ache.
Late that night, I heard the door. I sat up in bed.
Soon, Ryan came in, pausing when he saw me awake. He took off his watch and walked over.
He smelled like alcohol and perfume.
"Why are you still up?" he asked, frowning.
"Ryan, we need to talk," I said, looking straight at him.
He turned away, exhausted. "It's late. Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." He disappeared into the bathroom.
I gave a bitter laugh.
Since Sophie came back, Ryan had been distant.
Sometimes it felt like these years were just a dream—or a joke. I was just his way of killing time until Sophie returned. And I'd been foolish enough to believe otherwise.
My heart shattered. I slowly lay back down.
Half an hour later, Ryan got into bed and pulled me into his arms like always. I tensed but didn't resist.
Soon, his breathing slowed while I stared at the ceiling, wide awake.