Chapter 1

He keeps looking at me from across the classroom as if I'm a ghost.

He's staring at me with those deep blue eyes.

I almost drowned in those eyes when I saw them for the very first time.

We were never really close until this last school year started.

Some would call what we have "a flirtationship", since we're not actually dating but we flirt on a daily base.

I feel kind of akward, his eyes are pinching holes in my back and I can feel his judgement.

I wonder what he's thinking everytime he looks at me like this.

The bell saves me from his glances and I can't keep myself from hurrying out of the classroom.

"Harper, you were out so quickly, are you alright?" I turn around and see Mila's worried face.

"I'm fine, I just really had to go to the bathroom." She looks at me in disbelief, but I couldn't care less about what she thinks.

I take my books out of my locker and go to my friends.

Of course, Drew is standing there just like every other day.

I'm avoiding all forms of contact with him, but no matter how hard I try, we always seem to have eye contact.

The second I see his eyes looking at mine, I turn down my face.

We're walking to the next class and he pushes me aside saying "watch it, you might fall".

He winks at me and I tell him he's an ass.

He knows I don't mean that, I actually quite like him.

That's not very usual for me, since I normally hate everyone that comes near me.

I have been feeling this extreme tension since the first week of school.

I haven't stopped wondering why it's only happening now.

Things were never like this last year, what changed?

We're constantly sending eachother snaps back and forth.

We're talking about useless things, but I'm having fun anyways.

At times like this, I can't help but feel sad that it's the weekend again.

I like being at school, being around Drew makes me feel alive.

I'm always having fun with him, even when I'm supposed to pay attention to the teacher.

It's always exciting to find out what a new day is going to bring.

But for now, I guess Snapchat will have to do.

I'm already in bed, fully undressed, because I like it better to sleep naked.

I'm sending snaps to him in which he can obviously see that I'm naked, but he can't really see any inapropriate things.

I've been thinking about asking this question forever and now I feel like I'm ready to just go for it.

"You know what I really want right now?" is what I ask to set the mood.

He answers with:

"I need you to be very honest with me.

What exactly do you want from me?"

At school, we had talked about friends with benefits several times.

He would always say that he wanted a special friend, because he doesn't have time for an actual relationship.

He just wants the perks of a girlfriend without actually having to put effort into it.

I had agreed with that several times, so this is the moment where I finally speak my truth.

"You want a special friend, so do I. It couldn't be easier than this.

Let's just do this together." I have second thoughts immediatly after pressing the send button, but even though I can...

I will not take it back.

As I'm waiting for his answer, many scenarios are playing in my head.

I'm an overthinker and in moments like these, that is absolutely not a good thing.

"Yeah, maybe we should do that.

Although I have some doubts...

You know I'm still a virgin and I don't know if I'm ready to go there yet." His answer shocks me, because I didn't really think he'd agree to this.

I send him one last message saying he should sleep on it and I put my phone aside to go to bed.

I'm on my way to my singing class as I hear the sound from an incoming snap blasting through my phone.

I know it's from Drew and I'm really nervous to open it.

"Get over yourself", I whisper to myself as I press the button.

"I agree.

We should do it together.

I trust you.

Don't tell anyone about this, it will only cause a lot of unnecessary drama.

When can I see you?

Does Monday after school work for you?"

I didn't see this one coming, I had already given up all hopes when he said he had some doubts.

I guess some people can really surprise us.

I answer that Monday is fine for me and we go back to our daily, casual conversations.

All of a sudden, he asks me:

"Will you go easy on me, please?

I'm really stressed about this." I think that's cute and I reassure him that everything is going to be just fine.

I promise him that I won't tell anyone (even though at this point, I've already told my best friend) and that he is safe from judgements with me.

Apparently, his parents are on a trip to Cordova this week, so he is home alone.

That makes it a lot easier for us to have our fun.

I can't stop imagining what it will be like.

He never brags about his body, so he probably isn't very confident.

He should be, he is really hot.

I'm singing songs about heartbreak, but in my head I'm already having sex with Drew at this very moment.

I showered yesterday and I shaved everything I could think of.

I couldn't stop imagining what was going to happen tonight.

We decided that it would be best for me to go home after school to drop my stuff of, because we didn't want anyone seeing me going in a different direction than my house.

That's exactly what I'm doing now.

I just got home and I'm putting on a nice black set of lingerie.

I go to the bathroom to quickly freshen up, grab the condom I fixed for today and get going.

It feels like it's so hot outside, but that's probably because of the stress.

This is the first time I'm doing something remotely naughty.

I know a lot of people do this, but I have a history of only sleeping with the two boyfriends I ever had.

I'm really stressed out, I'm scared somebody will see me here and that would be bad.

If anyone did, the whole school would be up to date within an hour and neither of us wanted that to happen.