Chapter 1
"Be with me, and never change your heart.
"If you ever betray me, I will disappear from your world forever."
When Lily Jackson said this, Henry Hawthorne leaned down and kissed her eyelids.
"I won't," he promised.
Thirteen years later, on New Year's Eve, Lily placed her wedding ring on the dining table and closed the door behind her.
She never came back.
*****
On New Year's Eve, fireworks exploded outside the window, round after round—red, purple, gold—painting the living room's floor-to-ceiling glass like a grand farewell ceremony.
Lily stood in front of the coffee table.
Her fingers gripped a phone, knuckles white.
Henry'd left his phone on the sofa when he went out.
She wasn't going to touch it. Thirteen years, and she'd never once gone through his phone.
But an incoming call notification lit up the screen.
The contact name jumped out at her. Sophie.
Right after that, there was a heart emoji.
Lily stared at the name.
Her breathing didn't change. Her heartbeat didn't change. Her hands didn't shake.
She tapped the screen.
Fingerprint unlock failed.
She tried again.
Failed again.
His phone password used to be her birthday. 0307.
Lily typed it in.
It unlocked.
She opened that chat thread.
Messages scrolled up from the bottom of the screen, packed tight.
[Can you be with me tonight? Miss you so much.]
It was sent thirty minutes ago.
Henry's reply was right below it, short and soft.
[Wait for me. On my way.]
Lily scrolled up.
One message. Two. Ten.
She didn't finish scrolling.
Because she saw a photo.
Two people leaning close together. A woman with her face buried in his shoulder. Him tilting his head down, lips pressed to her hair.
Lily recognized that shirt.
She'd ironed it herself last month. She'd run the steam iron over the collar creases three times.
She stared at that photo for a long time.
Then put the phone back on the coffee table.
She lined it up right where he'd left it before heading out.
She stayed silent for a few seconds.
Another round of fireworks exploded outside, crackling and popping so loud the windows trembled slightly.
Lily turned and walked into the bedroom.
She opened the closet.
It wasn't the frantic, tearful kind of opening.
It was the quiet, methodical kind.
She pulled out a gray suitcase—the 24-inch one.
She took her passport, ID, and bank cards.
She opened the second drawer of her vanity and found a brown envelope.
Inside was the money she'd saved over the years.
It wasn't much. But it was enough for her to leave.
Lily folded a few changes of clothes inside. Two scarves. A pair of flats.
She stood in front of the closet, scanning the neatly hung coats.
That camel-colored one—they'd bought it in the third year of their marriage.
She didn't take it.
The black cashmere one was his birthday gift to her last year.
She didn't take it either.
She took a gray cotton jacket she'd bought herself.
That was enough.
Lily zipped the suitcase and went back to the living room.
She stopped in front of the dining table.
Two sets of plates and cutlery were laid out.
She'd prepared them tonight.
She'd made his favorite honey-glazed ribs, and a grilled sea bass with lemon butter.
He'd said he had to work late tonight, couldn't make it home for New Year's dinner, and told her to eat without him.
Lily looked at the two place settings.
Then she looked down and slowly twisted the ring off her left ring finger.
2011It was platinum. The inside was engraved with a date. 06.18.2011.
She placed the ring next to his plate.
She didn't hesitate.
She didn't leave a note.
None of those were needed.
She'd said what she said. He should still remember.
Lily pulled her suitcase to the door.
The entryway light was on, casting a warm yellow glow over her face.
She bent down to change her shoes.
Her fingers paused for one second on the shoe cabinet shelf.
On the top shelf were his shoes—leather, sneakers, slippers—all dusted regularly by her.
Lily pulled her hand back.
She straightened up and opened the door.
The hallway was quiet.
From the apartment next door came the muffled sound of a TV—the host counting down to the new year.
"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven."
Lily pulled her suitcase toward the elevator.
"Six. Five. Four."
The elevator doors opened.
"Three. Two. One!"
She stepped inside.
The doors closed.
Outside, the fireworks reached their peak.
Everyone was cheering for the new year.
Lily glanced at her watch.
It was exactly midnight. 2024. A new year. A new her.
She said one thing to herself in her mind.
It wasn't meant for him.
It was just for her.
'Lily. Let's go.' she told herself.
The elevator reached the first floor. The doors opened.
She pulled her suitcase into the night.
The cold bit deep.
Her breath puffed out in white clouds.
She wrapped her jacket tighter and didn't look back at the building.
Not even once.
A cab pulled up to the curb. The driver rolled down his window. "Miss, heading out on New Year's Eve? Where to?"
Lily opened the back door and slid her suitcase inside.
"Train station," she said.
"Which one?"
"The nearest."
The driver pulled away.
In the rearview mirror, the building with its warm, lit windows grew smaller and smaller.
Lily turned her face to the window.
The streets were full of people setting off fireworks. Couples were hugging. Kids were running. Families were standing on the sidewalk, looking up at the lights in the sky.
She watched the bursts bloom and fade.
Her eyes felt dry and scratchy.
But she didn't cry.
Not one tear fell.
Not because it didn't hurt.
Because she'd made this decision thirteen years ago.
She'd said it.
If he betrayed her, she would disappear forever.
She hadn't lied to him. Never had.