Chapter 2

But everything started to change in Raymond's senior year, when a girl named Giselle joined his programming project team.

At first, whenever Raymond talked about Giselle, he'd always gripe to me, totally dismissive.

He'd say, "She's hopeless. I've explained the most basic algorithm to her eight times, and she still can't get it. Seriously, I have no clue how someone like her even managed to get in."

He'd also add, "And she dresses like a mess. She always looks like she just rolled out of bed, not girly at all."

One day, Raymond found out that Giselle came from a tough background. Her parents were divorced, and she had to work three part-time jobs just to cover her tuition and living expenses.

After that, whenever he mentioned her, there was a trace of sympathy and guilt in his voice.

He'd say, "She works three jobs and still has to juggle her classes. She's running herself ragged. No wonder her mind's all over the place."

Back then, I didn't think much of it. I just told Raymond that since things were so hard for her, as her senior, he should help her out whenever he could.

Little did I know, those words "help her out" would end up being the start of our breakup.

The first time Raymond ditched me for Giselle was at a design show that was super important to me.

I'd pulled three all-nighters to finish my project, and it made it to the finals. I gave him a guest pass way ahead of time, hoping he'd be there for my big moment.

But he didn't show up at all, and even after it ended, his phone just went straight to voicemail.

When I finally dragged myself back to my dorm, totally wiped out, I saw his text.

It said: [Giselle suddenly got really sick, so I took her to the hospital. My phone died, just saw your message now.]

He added: [Sorry, Natalie. I know I let you down. But when it's an emergency, you just have to help, right? You wouldn't hold it against me, would you?]

He continued: [I'll make sure to see your work next time, I promise.]

But there was no next time.

That was my senior design exhibition, the most important showcase of my entire college career.

But I didn't make a fuss or argue. I just quietly replied: [Okay.]

I kept telling myself that her health mattered most. Missing one show wasn't the end of the world. There would be other chances. It made sense for Raymond to take his teammate to the hospital.

But that was just the beginning. After that, it happened again and again.

The second time was at a music festival we'd planned to go to together.

He was two hours late.

His excuse was that Giselle got into an argument with someone over a seat in the library. The other person shoved her, and she was so scared she just cried, begging Raymond to come help her out.

Instead of comforting her with some healing soup, Raymond was stuck filling out paperwork at the campus security office instead of being at the festival.

By the time he finally showed up, the headlining band had already played their last song.

Raymond tried to explain, "Giselle's just not the kind of girl who can stand up for herself. You're a girl too, Natalie. You know how helpless that can feel. I just didn't want her to get taken advantage of, so I stayed."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Shivering in the cold, I asked, "Couldn't she have gone to a teacher or another classmate? Why did she have to call you, her male senior?"

Raymond replied, "She's new here, doesn't really know anyone, and she's super introverted. Things got messy fast, and I was the first person she thought of. What was I supposed to do, just ignore her?"

He added, "It's totally innocent between me and her, Natalie. Why are you letting your mind run wild?"

He broke off halfway through his explanation.

Giselle had just texted him again, saying she was still scared and asking if he could walk her back to her dorm.

Raymond said, "The festival's over anyway, so I'll walk her back to her dorm first.

"It's not safe for a girl to walk alone at night. I need to make sure she gets back safe and sound."

With that, he walked off toward the campus gate, leaving me alone in the crowd as everyone else was leaving.

It was a chilly fall night, and my jacket was still in his backpack.

I called out to him, hoping to get my jacket back, but he'd already flagged down a cab. He waved at me through the window.

He said, "Hey, sweetheart, don't be upset. I'll come cheer you up once I'm done."

The cab disappeared into the night, leaving me standing there, arms wrapped around myself, braving the cold wind all the way back to my dorm for half an hour.

My body was freezing, and my heart felt completely numb.

When I got back that night, I caught a cold and ended up with a high fever.

Raymond said he was too busy to come see me.

Meanwhile, I spotted him on Giselle's social feed.

He was sitting at her desk, frowning as he looked at her computer.

Giselle had captioned the photo: [Best senior in the world! Not only did he help me out, but he also fixed my old laptop that's been with me for four years. I honestly have no idea how to thank him enough.]

I stared at that photo for a long time, and out of nowhere, it hit me that something between Raymond and me had totally soured.

Back then, if I so much as sneezed, he'd freak out and fuss over me.