Chapter 1
During a break in the physical training program, my boyfriend, who was also the instructor, bought ice cream for the whole class.
He must have miscounted because he was one short.
When he got to me and one of the most popular girls in college, Sophie Carter, he gave the last ice cream bar to her.
I watched as he carefully tore off the wrapper and handed it to her. Calmly, I said, "Let's break up."
He looked at me, amused. "Because you didn't get an ice cream?"
"Yep."
"Fine. Don't come crying back to me."
After five years together, he seemed sure I was joking.
Little did he know, I'd already accepted a student exchange offer.
Once the training ended, I was leaving to study abroad.
*****
"Break up? Over one ice cream? Are you insane?" Eric Johnson, my boyfriend, let out a scornful laugh.
The sun was blinding.
I met his gaze. "Yes. We're done."
Over that one ice cream.
My stubborn silence seemed to irritate him, a smirk twisting his lips.
"Fine. Don't come crying back to me," he said.
I shook my head. "Don't worry. I won't."
"Tch. Whatever."
Witnessing a drill instructor arguing with a student, everyone else held their breath.
Only Sophie, holding the ice cream, stepped in boldly. "Hey, it's not a big deal, why fight? Emily, if you want it, take it. I'll just buy another one."
She offered me the ice cream, a magnanimous smile on her face.
She obviously loved the attention from Eric, but still played the innocent card.
It just made me look petty.
Eric, of course, appreciated Sophie's gesture, his gaze softening as he looked at her.
It made me sick.
I didn't take it. I smacked it out of her hand.
It hit the ground with a splat, sticky cream splattering her shoes.
"Cut the 'one-of-the-guys' act. It's making me sick," I said.
Sophie's face went pale.
"What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm some bitch trying to steal your man? Eric and I are just buddies. You're the one with the dirty mind," she snapped back.
I laughed coldly.
"Right, right, you're 'buddies'. Buddies who text 'you up?' in the middle of the night. Buddies who have him run blocks to buy you ginger tea for your period. Such ordinary buddies," I sneered.
Sophie trembled with anger. "Emily, you're crazy."
I sneered again, "You're the sane one? Then why are you always all over someone else's boyfriend? He's not a doctor."
"Enough!" Eric snapped.
He stepped in front of Sophie, his face dark.
"Emily, for disrespecting your instructor and a fellow student, now, go stand at attention by the track for thirty minutes. Don't move until I say so!" he barked.
"Yes, Mr. Johnson," I replied.
I didn't argue. I didn't look at him again. I turned and walked toward the exposed track.
I stood straight, my body burning under the sun, but my heart was cold and still.
The afternoon sun was relentless.
The whole company practiced marching in the shade of the trees. Only I stood like an idiot, baking in the open.
My soaked uniform clung to my skin.
Whenever my gaze drifted over, I saw Sophie.
She seemed to have endless questions, her movements forever "uncoordinated."
"Mr. Johnson, I can't get this arm swing right. Can you check it for me?" she asked.
Eric walked over, his hand gripping her elbow, the other resting on her waist.
"Here. You're using the wrong muscles. Like this," he said, leaning in close.
Sophie grinned, her fluffy short hair swaying, the ends brushing against Eric's chin.
"Oh, so that's how it works. Mr. Johnson, you're awesome," she giggled.
She smiled, her eyes curving, leaning even closer.
Eric paused for a second but didn't pull away.
He even gave a slight smirk, as if annoyed, yet enjoying it.
"That's what buddies do," he said.
Such buddies.
Buddies who got waist-grabs, elbow-holds, and whisper-close instruction.
The nausea rose again. I looked away, fixing my eyes on the sun-bleached track lines in the distance, feeling numb.
Sweat stung my eyes, but I didn't move.
The final whistle finally blew.
Everyone scattered.
I'd been standing too long. My legs gave way, and I slumped to the ground.
It was like Eric had just remembered I existed.
He stopped in front of me, his shadow falling over me. His tone was still hard, but he was trying to soften. "Legs sore?"
I didn't speak.
Eric sighed and reached to massage my shoulder. I shifted away.
His hand hung in the air, his expression tightening. "Come on, enough already. You've been punished. Had your fun? I'll take you out for something good tonight."
When I still didn't respond, his voice softened a little. He crouched down. "Here, let me rub your legs."
I finally looked up at him, sweat dripping from my lashes. "No need, Mr. Johnson. After all, we should maintain professional boundaries."
I emphasized the last two words.
Eric's face instantly darkened, irritation flashing in his eyes. "Emily, do you have to be so difficult? I already—"
I didn't let him finish, struggling to my feet and walking away.
My legs ached, but I kept my back straight. I didn't look back.
I went straight to the academic advisor's office.
"I'll take the exchange program spot. Please process the paperwork as soon as possible," I said to the academic advisor.
My advisor looked surprised. "Emily? Last time we spoke, you said you couldn't bear to leave... uh, your friends here?"
"Nothing's holding me here anymore." I took a quiet breath. "Please, just help me get it done quickly."