Chapter 2
Vadim tries to breathe in time, as though his own breath is pushing into Kai's lungs.
The arena is suspended in an alien-like silence, listening to the Tavrian who's in turn listening to the medics.
He takes in the counts of the medics pushing against Maddox's chest.
He can't help the wails that escape him.
The only two sounds echoing around the expanse of the ice.
"Please!
God!
Очнись." You fucking bastard.
Wake up.
The crowd is shell-shocked, not knowing quite what they're a part of.
No one knows how to react to Kai's heart stopping or the pure devastation from the Havenport captain.
The officials are wise enough not to go near him.
His face is red and a vein is throbbing from his wet sobs.
He looks almost rabid.
"I need you," he says, choking on the words.
"You can't leave me.
Please, Kai!"
Teammates behind him start murmuring his name, telling him to breathe.
Someone says, "Cherkov," softly, like he's a frightened animal.
They stand back like they dare not come closer.
Their words fall on deaf ears.
"Talk, Maddox, please!
скажи, разве мы не потратили все эти годы впустую?" Tell me we haven't wasted all these years.
The words bellow, his throat raw as he shouts.
Saliva sprays as he spits his words—tears dripping from his chin.
"Maddox, wake up!"
Players on both teams meet each other's questioning stares.
Eyes asking...
Did you know?
Eyes telling...
No, we had no idea .
Vadim's reaction is almost too painful to witness.
They want to look away, but their confusion, curiosity and care for the two men makes it impossible to tear their eyes away.
The distance between Vadim and Kai becomes too much for him to bear.
He needs to touch him.
He needs to kiss him while there's still warmth left in him.
He pushes his way close enough for his head to hover above Kai's.
"You can't leave me now.
I don't know how to live without you anymore." He hiccups like a child as he cries.
"I didn't get to love you enough."
He laces his fingers through Kai's thick, black hair.
It's physically painful.
The contact feels like fire on his palms—like someone stuck their hand into his chest and ripped his heart out.
He'd do it himself.
He'd rip his own heart out to save Kai.
Tears stream down his face.
He wipes the snot running from his nose on the arm of his jersey.
"Моя любовь, I give you my heart."
Cherkov, is there something I can do?
Do you need medical intervention right now?" the Lakeridge medic pumping air into Kai's mouth speaks to him.
Vadim's bloodshot eyes meet his concerned gaze, and he shakes his head before looking back at his so-called rival's face.
That beautiful face.
His face crumples as another sob fall from his lips.
Mei Maddox and Kenji Maddox were stuck in the crowd at first, too stunned to move.
The shock of Vadim's declarations power them forward.
Mei grabs Kai's hand, pulling him down to the gate, and as the staff pulls them through, they finally make their way onto the ice.
They too fall to their knees just where Vadim had been and cry for their son.
Kai's hands clasp in prayer to a God he's never believed in before, while Mei's tears fall to the ice as she watches her boy—the man that she has dedicated her life to—lie still on the ground.
Three minutes have passed since they started CPR, Vadim hears a medic say to the other.
For three minutes, the others on the ice and in the stands have stood and watched in horror as an untouchable man and two devastated parents fall apart at the seams, as their life falls apart.
Twenty thousand people and hundreds of staff are frozen by the most devastating sight they'd ever seen.
Damon stands limply, arms by his side, his eyes locked onto the face of his Captain and closest companion in the world.
Kai has obviously been keeping a few things under lock and key.
He wants him back— the uncle of his children, his most trusted confidant.
He glances again to Vadim and watches him in his anguish.
How did this even happen?
How hasn't he noticed?
Vadim's face turns to the heavens, eyes closed as he presses his hands against each side of Kai's face.
Мама, пожалуйста, разбудите его." Cherkov's voice cracks repeatedly as he calls out in a desperate rage.
His chest heaves, desperate for air.
Mama, God please somebody help me.
Don't let him die.
Take me.
Don't take my love away.
Please.
We were so close.
Mama, please wake him up.
No one understands the words, but they understand the guttural heartbreak as he sobs.
His voice gives out completely.
He drops his head down, and just for a second, presses his lips to Kai's forehead.
"Please," he speaks, his voice hoarse.
"Please come back to me, I love you, Maddox.
I love you." I love you with all my heart. I love you with all my soul.
I can't live without you.
Six minutes since CPR started.
That's how long it takes for the medic to return with the defibrillator.
Six minutes feels like a lifetime.
"About fucking time, Cooper," The lead medic calls.
The returning medic is panting.
"They fucking moved the machine.
This is from the guest services offices."
"It'll do.
Everyone, hands off now!"
The compressions stop, and the face mask is removed.
They look to Vadim.
"You too, Cherkov!
Hands off, now!"
He lets go and pushes himself back using the little remaining strength he has.
They place two large, sticky pads on Kai's chest.
It seems like the medics wait forever, hands no longer making Kai's heart beat or his lungs breathe.
A medic calls, "Delivering shock.
Clear!"
The high-pitched whine of the machine charging.
The click of a button.
Kai's body jolts violently.
And then.
Maddox gasps cold air into his lungs.
His eyes fly open.
"-adim," He breathes out.
As Kai's vision flickers to life, the bright white of the space burns a pain into the back of eyes, pain puncturing his brain like a knife.
He had been doused in ice water.
As though he was under the ice of a frozen lake, banging, banging, banging against the surface to crack and release him.
His lungs were heavy like lead balloons, the weight pulling his body deeper into the depths of sorrow.
His throat was on fire with his inhale.
In his fleeting moments of consciousness his mind goes to the man that had been his first thought every morning for months, if not years now—and he calls out to him.
He knows he's on the ice.
He knows there's medics fluttering around him, strapping him in and moving him.
As he feels that pain stab behind his eyes and the feeling of a tonne of bricks upon his chest, he groans and gives himself away to darkness once before in refuge.
When Vadim hears that voice.
The sweet moan of pain tingeing his name.
It's the most beautiful sound he could ever dream of.
"-adim"
He knew what it meant.
He knew who he was calling for.
He'd only recently begun hearing Maddox using this name to call him by.
Seven years of "Fuck you, Cherkov", now sweet as he begs, "Fuck me, Vadim."
He still felt his heart stutter each time he heard it.
But, If it made his heart stutter before, then it made it explode now.
When Kai gasps back to life, there's no loud rush of relief the way it usually goes when a player scares the crowd and then bounds right back again and gets to hobble off the ice.
The arena has stayed suspended in a terrible, reverent quiet.
It's as though each of the twenty thousand people are afraid that a single movement might undo the miracle they just witnessed.
Cherkov, Mei and Kenji too stand aghast.
Praying and hoping that they didn't collectively imagine what they'd just heard.
Kai's gasp.
His voice.
Their tears stay perched in the water line of their eyes.
Vadims next to Mei now.
He'd met her before briefly but never shared more than five words in conversation.
But he can't help his shaking fingers from stretching out and holding onto her jumper's sleeve.
It was like a scared child clinging to the trouser leg of their mother, hiding as though she could protect him from any danger.
"Kai, Моя любовь, I'm here." Vadim calls out hoping Kai's still conscious to hear it.
"I'm here."
Mei's hand meets Vadim's.
The rivalry status that the league had painted over her son's relationship with the Tavrian cast aside.
They clutch to each other in silent acknowledgement of their pain, hopes and fear that had just manifested itself before their eyes.
There's a uniting force in pain and grief—It's one that wipes slates clean, makes you forgive, makes you love harder and appreciate more than you ever thought possible.
Everything she ever knew or felt about the Tavrian whose hand she now clung to was dissolved.