Chapter 1

I spent twelve years by Jonathan Sterling's side. I went from a dirty street kid to his chief secretary.

He taught me how to read, hired the best tutors for me, and sent me abroad for my MBA, but he never let things go any further between us.

Then I lost my hand saving the woman he loved.

He stood outside my hospital room with red-rimmed eyes and begged, "Emily, don't look at me like that. Please say something."

That was only the second time I'd ever seen him lose control. The first time was when I handed in my resignation before leaving for grad school. He smashed his favorite vase right in front of everyone and told me to never forget my place.

I thought we had a simple arrangement—he gave me a new life, and I gave him my loyalty. Nothing more, nothing less.

But then twenty-eight-year-old Jonathan Sterling got down on his knees in front of me and asked for another chance.

That's when I finally understood. He was the one who'd been stuck in the past all along.

*****

I handled a personnel dispute at the branch office without asking permission first, and Jonathan was furious.

I'd barely gotten back to my desk when my office line rang.

His assistant delivered the message—I needed to "reflect on my actions" and wouldn't be attending any executive meetings for the next week.

The last time he'd said something like that was three days ago.

I stared at my computer screen, and my fingertips went cold. That ringing in my ears hadn't completely faded yet.

Here we go again.

Every time my emotions spiked, my body left behind these little traces.

An email notification popped up—Jonathan's personal account.

[Emily, do you think you're untouchable now? Think you can make decisions on your own? Since you love playing hero so much, maybe you should start over from the bottom.]

He couldn't even wait for his assistant to relay the message. He'd sent the email himself.

I took a deep breath and forced my shaking hands to type back: [The personnel adjustment follows company policy and saves the company 600 thousand dollars in wasteful spending annually. I believe it's the optimal solution.]

But Jonathan didn't read it.

He'd always been demanding about my work, but he'd never dismissed everything I did like this.

Maybe in his mind, I'd always be that person who needed his protection, someone with no right to make independent decisions.

I suddenly remembered what he'd said during our last cold war.

He'd said, "Emily, you always think I'm controlling and heartless, but you never understand. I'm just afraid you'll fall. I'd rather keep you under my wing forever."

I had to admit it—somewhere along the way in this twisted relationship, I'd completely lost myself.

Because what I wanted was equality and respect, but what Jonathan gave me was always this condescending "it's for your own good."

This was always going to be a scripted story anyway.

*****

Jonathan found me on a rainy night.

I was twelve years old, covered in mud and curled up next to a dumpster in the back alley behind Sterling Group.

He gave me a name and a new life. He turned me from a nobody orphan into a business elite.

But according to the story's script, I was never his only one.

I stayed in my lane as his chief secretary and handled everything for him, including all the women who came and went from his life.

Finally, that day came—I got my college acceptance letter.

Jonathan didn't find out until the night before I handed in my resignation.

He smashed his favorite vase in the office that day and warned me not to even think about stepping off the path he'd laid out for my life.

He said everything I had was his gift to me, and if I left, he'd take it all back.

I knew better than anyone how brutal reality could be in this power game.

Without him, there would be no Emily today.

Without Sterling Group, I probably would've frozen to death that rainy night.

Even though in this story, I was just an old thing waiting to be replaced.

I was trapped by my identity, but I still wanted to fight for a future of my own.

I'd listened to Jonathan's warnings for twelve years.

But on my twenty-fifth birthday, I broke my word.

Right in front of him, I tore up that lifetime employment contract that felt more like selling my soul.

That same night, he cornered me in the filing room and grabbed my wrist hard. I could see the panic rising in his eyes.

He said, "Emily, you promised me once that as long as I needed you, you'd never leave. Call me selfish, call me crazy, I don't care. Please. Don't walk out of my world."

He said I could only ever be his Emily.

But he didn't know that I could go crazy too. That I could die too.