Chapter 5
Richard finally spoke up.
Richard asked, "You nearly bled out last time. Don't you remember?"
She let out a soft laugh.
Lily said, "I was careless last time. It won't happen again.
"What, you can't stand the thought of your wife having your baby?
"Why not let me be the one to have your baby instead?"
"Don't talk nonsense," Richard said quietly.
Richard added, "I won't let Julia take that risk."
She paused for a moment.
Her voice grew even softer.
"Don't worry," she said.
"I won't bother you.
"When I was rushed to the hospital last time, I never even thought about calling you."
The next second, a loud crash echoed through the room.
Richard was slammed against the cabinet.
Richard asked, "You're pregnant and still throwing yourself at me. Aren't you afraid you'll lose the baby?
"Honestly, wouldn't it be easier if I lost it? Save you all the trouble," Lily smiled.
There was only a thin wooden board between us.
My whole body went cold, and I couldn't stop trembling.
Good thing the cabinet was rattling even more than I was.
Suddenly, it hit me.
My first instinct wasn't anger.
But instead, something totally absurd crossed my mind.
I hoped he'd go easy on her.
If she got hurt, would Richard get in trouble with the law?
It wouldn't be good for the baby.
After what felt like forever, things finally quieted down.
Richard was back to his cold, indifferent self.
"It's 6:40. I'm heading home," he said.
"Your wife's always running around. You might not even see her when you get home. Wouldn't it be better to stay a little longer?" Lily asked.
Suddenly, a child's voice rang out.
"Daddy!" the child called.
A boy, about six or seven years old, ran in with a backpack slung over his shoulders.
He was grinning from ear to ear.
He looked just like Richard.
Richard's voice softened with warmth.
Richard asked, "Hey, Autumn, just got out of school?"
Autumn.
A loud ringing filled my head.
It felt like a bomb went off in my brain.
My vision went black.
All the sounds around me faded away.
Autumn.
That was the name I'd chosen when I was seventeen.
If that child had survived, he'd be six years old now.
Six years old just like him.
He'd be running around, jumping everywhere.
He'd be coming home from school with his backpack on.
He'd be jumping into Richard's arms, shouting "Daddy!"
But now.
That name.
It was given to someone else's child.
I bit my lip so hard I thought it might bleed.
I was shaking all over, completely out of control.
Everything kept going dark before my eyes.
But I could still hear every word from outside, clear as day.
Autumn pulled a drawing out of his backpack.
He held it up high.
"Daddy, look!" Autumn called.
"My teacher praised me today." he added.
It was a drawing of a family of three.
Richard took the drawing from him.
He looked at it for a few seconds.
"This is really good," he said.
His voice was unusually gentle.
Autumn's face lit up with a smile.
His eyes turned into little crescents, just like Richard's do when he smiles.
"Then Daddy, can I have a hug?" Autumn asked.
But Richard took a step back.
"Go take a shower first," he said.
Autumn pouted, looking a bit upset.
"I didn't run or jump or eat anything today, so I don't smell." he protested.
"Nope, you need to take a shower first if you want a hug," Richard said.
Richard remained completely unfazed.
"Okay, Daddy. I'll use the blue bottle for my shower," Autumn said.
"No, use the brown bottle this time," Richard replied.
Autumn looked a bit disappointed.
But he still headed upstairs without a fuss.
"Promise you won't work late tonight, Daddy," Autumn said.
"Wait for me to finish my shower before you leave," he added.
"Okay," Richard replied.
Richard answered.
Richard agreed so casually.
Like he'd promised it a hundred times before.
Suddenly, it all felt so ridiculous.
I used to use Hermès body wash.
It was always the blue bottle.
Just yesterday, I switched to Amber Glow instead.
Now it's the brown bottle.
In the upstairs bathroom sat the exact same brown bottle.
Even the spot where it sat was identical.
I closed my eyes.
My stomach churned.
The sound of water splashing came from upstairs.
Autumn was up there, showering.